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| Meta Title | How to Build Self Confidence: 20+ Ways to Boost Self-Esteem |
| Meta Description | An in-depth guide to gaining self-confidence and feeling your best When you walk into a room, do you glow with confidence? Do you believe in yourself? If not, we're here to help you go after your dreams and tackle your fears. We'll tell... |
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An in-depth guide to gaining self-confidence and feeling your best
Download Article
Practicing Self-Care
|
Learning to Love Yourself
|
Leaving Your Comfort Zone
|
How Can You Build Self-Confidence?
|
Helpful Tips
|
Expert Q&A
|
Tips
When you walk into a room, do you glow with confidence? Do you believe in yourself? If not, we're here to help you go after your dreams and tackle your fears. We'll tell you exactly how to gain self-confidence so you can take the world by storm. Itâs time to embrace life and conquer your goals, so letâs get started!
Boosting Your Self Esteem
Master certified life coach Katie Stolp says building self-confidence is about opening yourself up to discomfort, trusting yourself, and seeing who you are on the other side of that discomfort. Some other tips for increasing self-esteem include:
Focusing on your strengths and celebrating your successes.
Comparing your progress to your past self, not others.
Practicing positive self-talk and hanging out with people who support you.
Taking good care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting proper sleep.
Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
You look your best when you feel your best. So, ignore the trends and build a wardrobe that makes you happy. Trust us, your inner confidence will make you
look amazing
.
[1]
If youâre into fashion, stick to the styles that work best for you.
Eat a healthy diet
.
A balanced diet helps you look and feel your best, so load up on fruits and veggies.
[2]
On the other hand, limit how much junk food and sweets you eat because theyâre less nutritious. When youâre feeling great, your confidence can blossom.
For breakfast, you might eat yogurt with chopped up fruit or a bowl of oatmeal with apples or bananas in it.
At lunch, you might have a tasty turkey wrap with lettuce and tomato and a side of baby carrots. Alternatively, you might prefer a salad with a pouch of tuna.
For dinner, you could eat grilled veggies with fish served over a bed of rice or sauteed veggies with grilled chicken and a baked sweet potato.
Advertisement
Exercise
.
When you take good care of yourself, you feel more confident and capable. For good health, exercise for 30 minutes a day most days a week.
[3]
Do something fun, like playing tennis, going for a walk with a friend, or dancing to your favorite music.
Schedule exercise into your day so you wonât forget.
Invite your friend or partner to exercise with you to make it more fun. Plus, that way youâll have an accountability partner.
Get proper sleep
.
According to experts, being properly rested actually helps you have more self confidence.
[4]
The average adult needs at least 7 hours of sleep each night, while teens need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep. Follow a sleep schedule to help you get the sleep you need to glow with confidence.
[5]
Ideally, go to bed and get up at the same time every day so it becomes a habit. Youâll fall asleep easier this way and feel ready to get up in the morning.
Meditate
every day.
Having a calm mind improves your confidence because it helps you be more self-aware. Additionally, meditating teaches you to be non-judgemental when it comes to your thoughts.
[6]
Itâs super easy to meditate, and you can do it anywhere. For guided meditations, try a free meditation on
YouTube
or use a free app like one of these:
Calm
Insight Timer
Headspace
What do you believe is the most important factor in boosting your self-esteem?
Surrounding myself with positive, supportive people.
Practicing self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Engaging in positive self-talk and affirmations.
Celebrating my achievements, no matter how small.
Practice gratitude
.
Recognizing all the good in your life helps you remember that you have a lot going for you. Start keeping a gratitude list to help you focus on the positives.
[7]
Every day, add at least 3 things to your list. When youâre feeling a moment of doubt, read through your list to help build yourself back up.
You might write, âMy family, my cat, books, coffee, sunshine, my friends, good chocolate, etc.â
Itâs okay to repeat things on your list. Just write down the first 3 things that pop into your head.
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List your strengths
.
Everyone is good at something, so focus on areas where youâre the best. Write down everything you do well, and take pride in your talents. When youâre feeling down, read your list of strengths so you can remind yourself how amazing you are.
[8]
Your list might include, âcreative, helpful, smart, thoughtful, great dancer.â
Recognizing your accomplishments helps you see how truly amazing you really are. Even small milestones on your journey to success are important. Take a moment to enjoy your achievements and the progress youâre making toward your goals. Take pride in things like:
[9]
Completing a project.
Baking an amazing pie.
Taking the first step toward a goal.
Winning an award at work or school.
Getting a compliment on something you did.
We all have an inner critic, and it can totally derail your confidence. Luckily, you have the power to change negative thinking. Do your best to replace your negative thoughts with positive or neutral statements. Additionally,
use positive affirmations
to improve your self worth.
[10]
âI believe in myself.â
âI can achieve my goals if I persevere.â
âI know Iâm capable.â
âIâm so proud of how far Iâve come.â
Counselor Trudi Griffin reminds:
"A lack of self-confidence results from years of internalizing negative messages about ourselves, but what if every negative thing you've ever heard about yourself from an outside source is wrong? Take time to analyze those messages to clear out the ones that bring you down."
Accept compliments
gracefully.
When someone compliments you, it means they recognize something amazing about you. Donât let your inner critic dismiss their kind words. Instead, smile and
thank the person
for the compliment. You deserve it!
[11]
Say, âThank you so much!â or âAw, thatâs so nice.â
Try to offer them a compliment in return, like âYou look great, too.â
You can add the compliment to your list of strengths about yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.
Stop comparing yourself to others
.
You are one-of-a-kind, so youâre not going to be like everyone else. Plus, youâre only seeing a snapshot of other peopleâs lives, so any comparisons you make arenât fair. Instead of using others as a measuring stick for success, use your past self. That way, you can focus on creating a life that makes you happy.
[12]
Try to remember that what you see on social media is just the highlights of someoneâs life. You usually donât see the bad days and moments of self-doubt.
Reader Poll:
We asked 451 wikiHow readers to tell us what advice theyâd give for building their self-esteem, and
67%
of them said that itâs most helpful to avoid
comparing yourself to other people.
[Take Poll]
Comparison is the enemy of self-acceptanceâso do your best to squash that negative voice in your head!
A good support system helps you stay focused on your best qualities. Identify the people in your life who leave you feeling awesome after you spend time with them. Make plans with friends and family members who make you feel good and who offer encouragement to you.
[13]
Call a close friend or family member when youâre feeling down.
Ignore the âshouldsâ youâre overly helpful family members tell you. Stay focused on what you want in life.
Treat yourself well, and
be forgiving
when you slip up. We all make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack. Try talking to yourself like youâre speaking to your best friend. Youâre just as worthy of compassion as anyone else.
[14]
âIâm doing my best, and thatâs all I can do.â
âEveryone makes mistakes. Itâs no big deal.â
âIâll just treat this as a learning experience. Next time, Iâll do better.â
Following your passions makes you feel unique and accomplished, which builds your self confidence. Plus, you deserve time to invest in what makes you happy. Schedule time to pursue your hobbies and hang out with your friends.
[15]
Make art.
Take a cooking class.
Go out with friends once or twice a month.
Get brunch.
Play a sport.
Start a band
.
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Set and pursue realistic goals
.
Your dreams are totally within reach, and feeling confident can give you the motivation to pursue them. Choose a goal you want to work toward, and then break it up into smaller steps. Start working toward your goal today so you can create the life you want.
[16]
You might set a goal to
run a marathon
, sell your art,
write a novel
, or
get your dream job
.
As you take steps toward your goal, your self confidence will increase.
Believe in yourself! Youâve totally got this.
New experiences broaden your horizons and help you realize everything youâre capable of doing. Make a list of different things you want to try, like bungee jumping or running a 10k. Then, get out there and have some fun checking items off your list.
[17]
Hereâs a list to get you started:
Take an art class.
Climb a rock wall.
Eat Korean barbeque.
Say âhiâ to 10 strangers.
Bake enchiladas.
Stay overnight in a haunted house.
Ride a bike along a sea wall or boardwalk.
No one is perfect, so why hold yourself to that standard? Set expectations for yourself like you do for your BFF. You probably cut them some slack, so do the same for yourself. All you can do is your best, and itâs okay if your best fluctuates from day to day.
[18]
Everyone starts as a beginner, so donât expect yourself to be âgoodâ at everything right away. Keep going, and youâll get where you want to be.
Sometimes you just have to release things into the world. Your painting, novel, or homemade banana bread might not be âperfect,â but itâs better to let people enjoy your creations than to hide them away.
It sucks majorly when you fail at something. At the same time, itâs a natural part of the path to success. Literally everyone copes with failure, even the most successful people in the world. When you fail, take a lesson from your experience and try again. In the end, itâll all be part of your success storyâand youâll have the confidence to do anything.
[19]
Letâs say you signed up for a marathon but ran out of time to train for it. You know for next time to give yourself more time to prepare for the race, and youâll also be a better runner than you were when you first started.
Similarly, maybe you tried out for a play but got an ensemble role instead of the lead. Youâll learn a lot as part of the ensemble, and youâll likely get feedback that you can use to improve your audition next time.
Itâs easy to let your fears stop you from doing whatâs most important to you. When you push past fear, however, your confidence grows, and it gets easier to do what makes you happy. Just take that first step to confront one of your fears. Trust us, itâll get easier as you become more confident.
[20]
You might be afraid of public speaking. Join a Toastmasters club, join the debate team, or sign up to do a reading at an open mic.
Maybe youâre afraid of talking to people you donât know. Challenge yourself to talk to 5 people you encounter everyday, like the cashier at the grocery store and the neighbor you pass on a walk.
Perhaps youâre afraid your writing isn't good enough. Attend a writers workshop and share something you wrote aloud.
Help others
.
Being a positive force in the world boosts your self-confidence. Make a positive impact by doing random acts of kindness and by lending a helping hand. If you have the time, volunteer for a cause thatâs really important to you, like feeding people in need or helping animals.
[21]
You donât have to do anything major to help others. Just being there for your family and friends can be enough.
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Helpful Tips
Search
Add New Question
Question
Where does self confidence come from?
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Answer
It's a bit like the question of the chicken or the egg. How can you be confident if you're not confident? Being confident has to do with being your authentic self as you maneuver through the world. That can come from tapping into your inner resources, such as the values and qualities you like about yourself.
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Push yourself to take the first step toward your goals, and youâll get a big boost in confidence.
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References
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To build self confidence, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts like "I can do this" and "I'm beautiful the way I am." Try to focus on the things you're talented at, and realize that you don't have to be good at everything. You can also build more confidence by spending time with friends and family members that make you feel good about yourself. Finally, avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on being the best version of yourself instead.
For more ways you can build self confidence, like exercising regularly, read the article!
Did this summary help you?
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 9,307,587 times.
Reader Success Stories
Gerry Brennan
Jun 25, 2017
"Excellent article. The bottom line is to stop worrying what people think and comparing, because basically they are
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# [How to Increase Your Self Confidence with Positive Daily Practices](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
An in-depth guide to gaining self-confidence and feeling your best
**Co-authored by** [Katie Stolp](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Katie-Stolp) and [Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Danielle-Blinka-MA-MPA)
[Last Updated: March 13, 2026](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence) [Fact Checked](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
- [Practicing Self-Care](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Practicing-Self-Care)
- [Learning to Love Yourself](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Learning-to-Love-Yourself)
- [Leaving Your Comfort Zone](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Leaving-Your-Comfort-Zone)
- [How Can You Build Self-Confidence?](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#questionmethod_How-Can-You-Build-Self-Confidence.3F)
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This article was co-authored by [Katie Stolp](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Katie-Stolp) and by wikiHow staff writer, [Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Danielle-Blinka-MA-MPA). Katie Stolp is a Master Certified Coach and the founder of Think Power, based in Austin, Texas. With over 5 years of coaching experience, Katie has helped hundreds of women around the world let go of self-defeating thoughts, own their power, and break through to authentic confidence in their careers and lives. Through speaking functions, online courses, one-on-one and group coaching, Katieâs approach combines a supportive yet direct coaching style and emphasizes research and science-based techniques. Her previous professional experience includes being an Austin CBS affiliate news anchor, corporate leader, and trainer. Katie is certified through The Life Coach School and trained with Erickson Coaching International. She has a bachelorâs degree in Broadcast Journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
There are [19 references](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#References) cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 9,307,587 times.
When you walk into a room, do you glow with confidence? Do you believe in yourself? If not, we're here to help you go after your dreams and tackle your fears. We'll tell you exactly how to gain self-confidence so you can take the world by storm. Itâs time to embrace life and conquer your goals, so letâs get started\!
## Boosting Your Self Esteem
Master certified life coach Katie Stolp says building self-confidence is about opening yourself up to discomfort, trusting yourself, and seeing who you are on the other side of that discomfort. Some other tips for increasing self-esteem include:
1. Focusing on your strengths and celebrating your successes.
2. Comparing your progress to your past self, not others.
3. Practicing positive self-talk and hanging out with people who support you.
4. Taking good care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting proper sleep.
5. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
## Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
### Practicing Self-Care
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-9-Version-6.jpg)
1
**Wear what makes you feel good.** You look your best when you feel your best. So, ignore the trends and build a wardrobe that makes you happy. Trust us, your inner confidence will make you [look amazing](https://www.wikihow.com/Look-Your-Best "Look Your Best").[\[1\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-1) X Research source
- If youâre into fashion, stick to the styles that work best for you.
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-10-Version-6.jpg)
2
[**Eat a healthy diet**](https://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Healthy "Eat Healthy")**.** A balanced diet helps you look and feel your best, so load up on fruits and veggies.[\[2\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-2) X Research source On the other hand, limit how much junk food and sweets you eat because theyâre less nutritious. When youâre feeling great, your confidence can blossom.
- For breakfast, you might eat yogurt with chopped up fruit or a bowl of oatmeal with apples or bananas in it.
- At lunch, you might have a tasty turkey wrap with lettuce and tomato and a side of baby carrots. Alternatively, you might prefer a salad with a pouch of tuna.
- For dinner, you could eat grilled veggies with fish served over a bed of rice or sauteed veggies with grilled chicken and a baked sweet potato.
Advertisement
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-11-Version-6.jpg)
3
[**Exercise**](https://www.wikihow.com/Exercise "Exercise")**.** When you take good care of yourself, you feel more confident and capable. For good health, exercise for 30 minutes a day most days a week.[\[3\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-3) X [Trustworthy Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) American Heart Association Leading nonprofit that funds medical research and public education [Go to source](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence) Do something fun, like playing tennis, going for a walk with a friend, or dancing to your favorite music.
- Schedule exercise into your day so you wonât forget.
- Invite your friend or partner to exercise with you to make it more fun. Plus, that way youâll have an accountability partner.
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-12-Version-6.jpg)
4
[**Get proper sleep**](https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Good-Night%27s-Sleep "Have a Good Night's Sleep")**.** According to experts, being properly rested actually helps you have more self confidence.[\[4\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-4) X [Trustworthy Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health [Go to source](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence) The average adult needs at least 7 hours of sleep each night, while teens need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep. Follow a sleep schedule to help you get the sleep you need to glow with confidence.[\[5\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-5) X Research source
- Ideally, go to bed and get up at the same time every day so it becomes a habit. Youâll fall asleep easier this way and feel ready to get up in the morning.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-13-Version-5.jpg)
5
[**Meditate**](https://www.wikihow.com/Meditate "Meditate") **every day.** Having a calm mind improves your confidence because it helps you be more self-aware. Additionally, meditating teaches you to be non-judgemental when it comes to your thoughts.[\[6\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-6) X Research source Itâs super easy to meditate, and you can do it anywhere. For guided meditations, try a free meditation on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=guided+meditation+for+self+confidence) or use a free app like one of these:
- [Calm](https://www.calm.com/)
- [Insight Timer](https://insighttimer.com/)
- [Headspace](https://www.headspace.com/)
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK
What do you believe is the most important factor in boosting your self-esteem?
Surrounding myself with positive, supportive people.
Practicing self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Engaging in positive self-talk and affirmations.
Celebrating my achievements, no matter how small.
565 total votes. This poll was last updated on 04/06/26.
Take Random Quiz

#### Thanks for answering our poll\!
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6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-14-Version-5.jpg)
6
[**Practice gratitude**](https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Gratitude "Practice Gratitude")**.** Recognizing all the good in your life helps you remember that you have a lot going for you. Start keeping a gratitude list to help you focus on the positives.[\[7\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-7) X Research source Every day, add at least 3 things to your list. When youâre feeling a moment of doubt, read through your list to help build yourself back up.
- You might write, âMy family, my cat, books, coffee, sunshine, my friends, good chocolate, etc.â
- Itâs okay to repeat things on your list. Just write down the first 3 things that pop into your head.
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
### Learning to Love Yourself
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-1-Version-6.jpg)
1
[**List your strengths**](https://www.wikihow.com/Identify-Your-Strengths "Identify Your Strengths")**.** Everyone is good at something, so focus on areas where youâre the best. Write down everything you do well, and take pride in your talents. When youâre feeling down, read your list of strengths so you can remind yourself how amazing you are.[\[8\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-8) X Research source
- Your list might include, âcreative, helpful, smart, thoughtful, great dancer.â
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-2-Version-6.jpg)
2
**Celebrate your small successes.** Recognizing your accomplishments helps you see how truly amazing you really are. Even small milestones on your journey to success are important. Take a moment to enjoy your achievements and the progress youâre making toward your goals. Take pride in things like:[\[9\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-9) X Research source
- Completing a project.
- Baking an amazing pie.
- Taking the first step toward a goal.
- Winning an award at work or school.
- Getting a compliment on something you did.
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-3-Version-6.jpg)
3
**Use positive self-talk to counter negative thinking.** We all have an inner critic, and it can totally derail your confidence. Luckily, you have the power to change negative thinking. Do your best to replace your negative thoughts with positive or neutral statements. Additionally, [use positive affirmations](https://www.wikihow.com/Use-Affirmations-Effectively "Use Affirmations Effectively") to improve your self worth.[\[10\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-10) X Research source
- âI believe in myself.â
- âI can achieve my goals if I persevere.â
- âI know Iâm capable.â
- âIâm so proud of how far Iâve come.â
**Counselor Trudi Griffin reminds:** "A lack of self-confidence results from years of internalizing negative messages about ourselves, but what if every negative thing you've ever heard about yourself from an outside source is wrong? Take time to analyze those messages to clear out the ones that bring you down."
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-4-Version-6.jpg)
4
[**Accept compliments**](https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Compliments "Take Compliments") **gracefully.** When someone compliments you, it means they recognize something amazing about you. Donât let your inner critic dismiss their kind words. Instead, smile and [thank the person](https://www.wikihow.com/Say-Thank-You "Say Thank You") for the compliment. You deserve it\![\[11\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-11) X Research source
- Say, âThank you so much!â or âAw, thatâs so nice.â
- Try to offer them a compliment in return, like âYou look great, too.â
- You can add the compliment to your list of strengths about yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-5-Version-6.jpg)
5
[**Stop comparing yourself to others**](https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others "Stop Comparing Yourself to Others")**.** You are one-of-a-kind, so youâre not going to be like everyone else. Plus, youâre only seeing a snapshot of other peopleâs lives, so any comparisons you make arenât fair. Instead of using others as a measuring stick for success, use your past self. That way, you can focus on creating a life that makes you happy.[\[12\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-12) X Research source
- Try to remember that what you see on social media is just the highlights of someoneâs life. You usually donât see the bad days and moments of self-doubt.
- **Reader Poll:** We asked 451 wikiHow readers to tell us what advice theyâd give for building their self-esteem, and **67%** of them said that itâs most helpful to avoid **comparing yourself to other people.** [\[Take Poll\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Not-Being-Able-to-Look-at-Yourself-in-the-Mirror#reader_poll_2017) Comparison is the enemy of self-acceptanceâso do your best to squash that negative voice in your head\!
6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-6-Version-6.jpg)
6
**Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.** A good support system helps you stay focused on your best qualities. Identify the people in your life who leave you feeling awesome after you spend time with them. Make plans with friends and family members who make you feel good and who offer encouragement to you.[\[13\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-13) X Research source
- Call a close friend or family member when youâre feeling down.
- Ignore the âshouldsâ youâre overly helpful family members tell you. Stay focused on what you want in life.
7. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-7-Version-6.jpg)
7
**Be kind to yourself.** Treat yourself well, and [be forgiving](https://www.wikihow.com/Forgive-Yourself "Forgive Yourself") when you slip up. We all make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack. Try talking to yourself like youâre speaking to your best friend. Youâre just as worthy of compassion as anyone else.[\[14\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-14) X [Trustworthy Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK [Go to source](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
- âIâm doing my best, and thatâs all I can do.â
- âEveryone makes mistakes. Itâs no big deal.â
- âIâll just treat this as a learning experience. Next time, Iâll do better.â
8. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-8-Version-6.jpg)
8
**Do things you enjoy.** Following your passions makes you feel unique and accomplished, which builds your self confidence. Plus, you deserve time to invest in what makes you happy. Schedule time to pursue your hobbies and hang out with your friends.[\[15\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-15) X Research source
- Make art.
- Take a cooking class.
- Go out with friends once or twice a month.
- Get brunch.
- Play a sport.
- [Start a band](https://www.wikihow.com/Form-a-Band "Form a Band").
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
### Leaving Your Comfort Zone
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-15-Version-5.jpg)
1
[**Set and pursue realistic goals**](https://www.wikihow.com/Accomplish-a-Goal "Accomplish a Goal")**.** Your dreams are totally within reach, and feeling confident can give you the motivation to pursue them. Choose a goal you want to work toward, and then break it up into smaller steps. Start working toward your goal today so you can create the life you want.[\[16\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-16) X Research source
- You might set a goal to [run a marathon](https://www.wikihow.com/Run-a-Marathon "Run a Marathon"), sell your art, [write a novel](https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Novel "Write a Novel"), or [get your dream job](https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Dream-Job "Get Your Dream Job").
- As you take steps toward your goal, your self confidence will increase.
- Believe in yourself! Youâve totally got this.
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-16-Version-5.jpg)
2
**Try new things.** New experiences broaden your horizons and help you realize everything youâre capable of doing. Make a list of different things you want to try, like bungee jumping or running a 10k. Then, get out there and have some fun checking items off your list.[\[17\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-17) X Research source Hereâs a list to get you started:
- Take an art class.
- Climb a rock wall.
- Eat Korean barbeque.
- Say âhiâ to 10 strangers.
- Bake enchiladas.
- Stay overnight in a haunted house.
- Ride a bike along a sea wall or boardwalk.
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-17-Version-5.jpg)
3
**Let go of perfectionism.** No one is perfect, so why hold yourself to that standard? Set expectations for yourself like you do for your BFF. You probably cut them some slack, so do the same for yourself. All you can do is your best, and itâs okay if your best fluctuates from day to day.[\[18\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-18) X Research source
- Everyone starts as a beginner, so donât expect yourself to be âgoodâ at everything right away. Keep going, and youâll get where you want to be.
- Sometimes you just have to release things into the world. Your painting, novel, or homemade banana bread might not be âperfect,â but itâs better to let people enjoy your creations than to hide them away.
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-18-Version-4.jpg)
4
**Treat failures as opportunities.** It sucks majorly when you fail at something. At the same time, itâs a natural part of the path to success. Literally everyone copes with failure, even the most successful people in the world. When you fail, take a lesson from your experience and try again. In the end, itâll all be part of your success storyâand youâll have the confidence to do anything.[\[19\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-19) X Research source
- Letâs say you signed up for a marathon but ran out of time to train for it. You know for next time to give yourself more time to prepare for the race, and youâll also be a better runner than you were when you first started.
- Similarly, maybe you tried out for a play but got an ensemble role instead of the lead. Youâll learn a lot as part of the ensemble, and youâll likely get feedback that you can use to improve your audition next time.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-19-Version-4.jpg)
5
**Face your fears.** Itâs easy to let your fears stop you from doing whatâs most important to you. When you push past fear, however, your confidence grows, and it gets easier to do what makes you happy. Just take that first step to confront one of your fears. Trust us, itâll get easier as you become more confident.[\[20\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-20) X Research source
- You might be afraid of public speaking. Join a Toastmasters club, join the debate team, or sign up to do a reading at an open mic.
- Maybe youâre afraid of talking to people you donât know. Challenge yourself to talk to 5 people you encounter everyday, like the cashier at the grocery store and the neighbor you pass on a walk.
- Perhaps youâre afraid your writing isn't good enough. Attend a writers workshop and share something you wrote aloud.
6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-20-Version-4.jpg)
6
[**Help others**](https://www.wikihow.com/Help-Others "Help Others")**.** Being a positive force in the world boosts your self-confidence. Make a positive impact by doing random acts of kindness and by lending a helping hand. If you have the time, volunteer for a cause thatâs really important to you, like feeding people in need or helping animals.[\[21\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-21) X Research source
- You donât have to do anything major to help others. Just being there for your family and friends can be enough.
### How Can You Build Self-Confidence?
### Helpful Tips
[ Sample Ways to Overcome Shyness](https://www.wikihow.com/Sample/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness)
[ Sample Ways to Build Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Sample/Ways-to-Build-Confidence)
## Expert Q\&A
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- Question
Where does self confidence come from?
[](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
[Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
[](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
[Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Answer
It's a bit like the question of the chicken or the egg. How can you be confident if you're not confident? Being confident has to do with being your authentic self as you maneuver through the world. That can come from tapping into your inner resources, such as the values and qualities you like about yourself.
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## Tips
- Push yourself to take the first step toward your goals, and youâll get a big boost in confidence.
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## References
1. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-1) <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201407/10-ways-feel-better-about-how-you-look>
2. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-2) <https://nutritionsource.hsph.harvard.edu/healthy-eating-plate/>
3. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-3) <https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/fitness/fitness-basics/aha-recs-for-physical-activity-in-adults>
4. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-4) <https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23055029/>
5. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-5) <https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene>
6. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-6) <https://siyli.org/resources/blog/confidence-through-meditation>
7. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-7) <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-planet-profits/202203/how-to-build-your-self-confidence>
8. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-8) <https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Self-Esteem/Self-Esteem---Information-Sheets/Self-Esteem-Information-Sheet---04---Acknowledging-Your-Positives.pdf>
9. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-9) <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/1-2-3-adhd/202111/why-its-important-to-celebrate-small-successes>
[More References (12)](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#aiinfo)
1. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-10) <https://www.suu.edu/blog/2022/03/affirmations-for-anxiety.html>
2. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-11) <https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/>
3. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-12) <https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/05/how-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others>
4. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-13) <https://campuspress.yale.edu/ledger/7-proven-tips-for-building-lasting-self-esteem-and-boosting-your-confidence/>
5. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-14) <https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/>
6. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-15) <https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html>
7. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-16) <https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/self-esteem.html>
8. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-17) <https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html>
9. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-18) <https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/self-esteem.html>
10. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-19) <https://services.unimelb.edu.au/counsel/resources/study-related-issues/coping-with-failure>
11. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-20) <https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/fears-and-phobias/10-ways-to-fight-your-fears/>
12. [â](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_ref-21) <https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/09/volunteering-to-build-self-esteem>
## About This Article

Co-authored by:
[Katie Stolp](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Katie-Stolp)
Master Certified Coach
This article was co-authored by [Katie Stolp](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Katie-Stolp) and by wikiHow staff writer, [Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Danielle-Blinka-MA-MPA). Katie Stolp is a Master Certified Coach and the founder of Think Power, based in Austin, Texas. With over 5 years of coaching experience, Katie has helped hundreds of women around the world let go of self-defeating thoughts, own their power, and break through to authentic confidence in their careers and lives. Through speaking functions, online courses, one-on-one and group coaching, Katieâs approach combines a supportive yet direct coaching style and emphasizes research and science-based techniques. Her previous professional experience includes being an Austin CBS affiliate news anchor, corporate leader, and trainer. Katie is certified through The Life Coach School and trained with Erickson Coaching International. She has a bachelorâs degree in Broadcast Journalism from the University of Missouri-Columbia. This article has been viewed 9,307,587 times.
121 votes - 89%
Co-authors: 243
Updated: March 13, 2026
Views: 9,307,587
Categories: [Featured Articles](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Featured-Articles "Category:Featured Articles") \| [Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Confidence "Category:Confidence")
[Article SummaryX](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#summary_wrapper)
To build self confidence, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts like "I can do this" and "I'm beautiful the way I am." Try to focus on the things you're talented at, and realize that you don't have to be good at everything. You can also build more confidence by spending time with friends and family members that make you feel good about yourself. Finally, avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on being the best version of yourself instead. For more ways you can build self confidence, like exercising regularly, read the article\!
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Co-authored by:
[Katie Stolp](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Katie-Stolp)
Master Certified Coach
Co-authors: 243
Updated: March 13, 2026
Views: 9,307,587
89% of readers found this article **helpful**.
121 votes - 89%
Click a star to add your vote

Gerry Brennan
Jun 25, 2017
"Excellent article. The bottom line is to stop worrying what people think and comparing, because basically they are in the same boat as you. Your confidence will greatly improve if you do this. This has really helped me. I will read it every day. Thank you."..." [more](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)

Lunga Cyril Dukashe
Oct 6, 2018
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Nov 5, 2018
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Dec 12, 2016
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| Readable Markdown | [ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
An in-depth guide to gaining self-confidence and feeling your best
[ Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence)
- [Practicing Self-Care](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Practicing-Self-Care)
- [Learning to Love Yourself](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Learning-to-Love-Yourself)
- [Leaving Your Comfort Zone](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#Leaving-Your-Comfort-Zone)
- [How Can You Build Self-Confidence?](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#questionmethod_How-Can-You-Build-Self-Confidence.3F)
- [Helpful Tips](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#sample_Helpful-Tips)
- [Expert Q\&A](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#qa_headline)
- [Tips](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#tips)
When you walk into a room, do you glow with confidence? Do you believe in yourself? If not, we're here to help you go after your dreams and tackle your fears. We'll tell you exactly how to gain self-confidence so you can take the world by storm. Itâs time to embrace life and conquer your goals, so letâs get started\!
## Boosting Your Self Esteem
Master certified life coach Katie Stolp says building self-confidence is about opening yourself up to discomfort, trusting yourself, and seeing who you are on the other side of that discomfort. Some other tips for increasing self-esteem include:
1. Focusing on your strengths and celebrating your successes.
2. Comparing your progress to your past self, not others.
3. Practicing positive self-talk and hanging out with people who support you.
4. Taking good care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting proper sleep.
5. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-9-Version-6.jpg)
You look your best when you feel your best. So, ignore the trends and build a wardrobe that makes you happy. Trust us, your inner confidence will make you [look amazing](https://www.wikihow.com/Look-Your-Best "Look Your Best").[\[1\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-1)
- If youâre into fashion, stick to the styles that work best for you.
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-10-Version-6.jpg)
[**Eat a healthy diet**](https://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Healthy "Eat Healthy")**.** A balanced diet helps you look and feel your best, so load up on fruits and veggies.[\[2\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-2) On the other hand, limit how much junk food and sweets you eat because theyâre less nutritious. When youâre feeling great, your confidence can blossom.
- For breakfast, you might eat yogurt with chopped up fruit or a bowl of oatmeal with apples or bananas in it.
- At lunch, you might have a tasty turkey wrap with lettuce and tomato and a side of baby carrots. Alternatively, you might prefer a salad with a pouch of tuna.
- For dinner, you could eat grilled veggies with fish served over a bed of rice or sauteed veggies with grilled chicken and a baked sweet potato.
Advertisement
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-11-Version-6.jpg)
[**Exercise**](https://www.wikihow.com/Exercise "Exercise")**.** When you take good care of yourself, you feel more confident and capable. For good health, exercise for 30 minutes a day most days a week.[\[3\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-3) Do something fun, like playing tennis, going for a walk with a friend, or dancing to your favorite music.
- Schedule exercise into your day so you wonât forget.
- Invite your friend or partner to exercise with you to make it more fun. Plus, that way youâll have an accountability partner.
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-12-Version-6.jpg)
[**Get proper sleep**](https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Good-Night%27s-Sleep "Have a Good Night's Sleep")**.** According to experts, being properly rested actually helps you have more self confidence.[\[4\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-4) The average adult needs at least 7 hours of sleep each night, while teens need between 8 and 10 hours of sleep. Follow a sleep schedule to help you get the sleep you need to glow with confidence.[\[5\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-5)
- Ideally, go to bed and get up at the same time every day so it becomes a habit. Youâll fall asleep easier this way and feel ready to get up in the morning.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-13-Version-5.jpg)
[**Meditate**](https://www.wikihow.com/Meditate "Meditate") **every day.** Having a calm mind improves your confidence because it helps you be more self-aware. Additionally, meditating teaches you to be non-judgemental when it comes to your thoughts.[\[6\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-6) Itâs super easy to meditate, and you can do it anywhere. For guided meditations, try a free meditation on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=guided+meditation+for+self+confidence) or use a free app like one of these:
- [Calm](https://www.calm.com/)
- [Insight Timer](https://insighttimer.com/)
- [Headspace](https://www.headspace.com/)
What do you believe is the most important factor in boosting your self-esteem?
Surrounding myself with positive, supportive people. Practicing self-care and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Engaging in positive self-talk and affirmations. Celebrating my achievements, no matter how small.
6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-14-Version-5.jpg)
[**Practice gratitude**](https://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Gratitude "Practice Gratitude")**.** Recognizing all the good in your life helps you remember that you have a lot going for you. Start keeping a gratitude list to help you focus on the positives.[\[7\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-7) Every day, add at least 3 things to your list. When youâre feeling a moment of doubt, read through your list to help build yourself back up.
- You might write, âMy family, my cat, books, coffee, sunshine, my friends, good chocolate, etc.â
- Itâs okay to repeat things on your list. Just write down the first 3 things that pop into your head.
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-1-Version-6.jpg)
[**List your strengths**](https://www.wikihow.com/Identify-Your-Strengths "Identify Your Strengths")**.** Everyone is good at something, so focus on areas where youâre the best. Write down everything you do well, and take pride in your talents. When youâre feeling down, read your list of strengths so you can remind yourself how amazing you are.[\[8\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-8)
- Your list might include, âcreative, helpful, smart, thoughtful, great dancer.â
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-2-Version-6.jpg)
Recognizing your accomplishments helps you see how truly amazing you really are. Even small milestones on your journey to success are important. Take a moment to enjoy your achievements and the progress youâre making toward your goals. Take pride in things like:[\[9\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-9)
- Completing a project.
- Baking an amazing pie.
- Taking the first step toward a goal.
- Winning an award at work or school.
- Getting a compliment on something you did.
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-3-Version-6.jpg)
We all have an inner critic, and it can totally derail your confidence. Luckily, you have the power to change negative thinking. Do your best to replace your negative thoughts with positive or neutral statements. Additionally, [use positive affirmations](https://www.wikihow.com/Use-Affirmations-Effectively "Use Affirmations Effectively") to improve your self worth.[\[10\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-10)
- âI believe in myself.â
- âI can achieve my goals if I persevere.â
- âI know Iâm capable.â
- âIâm so proud of how far Iâve come.â
**Counselor Trudi Griffin reminds:** "A lack of self-confidence results from years of internalizing negative messages about ourselves, but what if every negative thing you've ever heard about yourself from an outside source is wrong? Take time to analyze those messages to clear out the ones that bring you down."
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-4-Version-6.jpg)
[**Accept compliments**](https://www.wikihow.com/Take-Compliments "Take Compliments") **gracefully.** When someone compliments you, it means they recognize something amazing about you. Donât let your inner critic dismiss their kind words. Instead, smile and [thank the person](https://www.wikihow.com/Say-Thank-You "Say Thank You") for the compliment. You deserve it\![\[11\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-11)
- Say, âThank you so much!â or âAw, thatâs so nice.â
- Try to offer them a compliment in return, like âYou look great, too.â
- You can add the compliment to your list of strengths about yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-5-Version-6.jpg)
[**Stop comparing yourself to others**](https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others "Stop Comparing Yourself to Others")**.** You are one-of-a-kind, so youâre not going to be like everyone else. Plus, youâre only seeing a snapshot of other peopleâs lives, so any comparisons you make arenât fair. Instead of using others as a measuring stick for success, use your past self. That way, you can focus on creating a life that makes you happy.[\[12\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-12)
- Try to remember that what you see on social media is just the highlights of someoneâs life. You usually donât see the bad days and moments of self-doubt.
- **Reader Poll:** We asked 451 wikiHow readers to tell us what advice theyâd give for building their self-esteem, and **67%** of them said that itâs most helpful to avoid **comparing yourself to other people.** [\[Take Poll\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Not-Being-Able-to-Look-at-Yourself-in-the-Mirror#reader_poll_2017) Comparison is the enemy of self-acceptanceâso do your best to squash that negative voice in your head\!
6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-6-Version-6.jpg)
A good support system helps you stay focused on your best qualities. Identify the people in your life who leave you feeling awesome after you spend time with them. Make plans with friends and family members who make you feel good and who offer encouragement to you.[\[13\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-13)
- Call a close friend or family member when youâre feeling down.
- Ignore the âshouldsâ youâre overly helpful family members tell you. Stay focused on what you want in life.
7. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-7-Version-6.jpg)
Treat yourself well, and [be forgiving](https://www.wikihow.com/Forgive-Yourself "Forgive Yourself") when you slip up. We all make mistakes, so cut yourself some slack. Try talking to yourself like youâre speaking to your best friend. Youâre just as worthy of compassion as anyone else.[\[14\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-14)
- âIâm doing my best, and thatâs all I can do.â
- âEveryone makes mistakes. Itâs no big deal.â
- âIâll just treat this as a learning experience. Next time, Iâll do better.â
8. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-8-Version-6.jpg)
Following your passions makes you feel unique and accomplished, which builds your self confidence. Plus, you deserve time to invest in what makes you happy. Schedule time to pursue your hobbies and hang out with your friends.[\[15\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-15)
- Make art.
- Take a cooking class.
- Go out with friends once or twice a month.
- Get brunch.
- Play a sport.
- [Start a band](https://www.wikihow.com/Form-a-Band "Form a Band").
1. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-15-Version-5.jpg)
[**Set and pursue realistic goals**](https://www.wikihow.com/Accomplish-a-Goal "Accomplish a Goal")**.** Your dreams are totally within reach, and feeling confident can give you the motivation to pursue them. Choose a goal you want to work toward, and then break it up into smaller steps. Start working toward your goal today so you can create the life you want.[\[16\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-16)
- You might set a goal to [run a marathon](https://www.wikihow.com/Run-a-Marathon "Run a Marathon"), sell your art, [write a novel](https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Novel "Write a Novel"), or [get your dream job](https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Dream-Job "Get Your Dream Job").
- As you take steps toward your goal, your self confidence will increase.
- Believe in yourself! Youâve totally got this.
2. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-16-Version-5.jpg)
New experiences broaden your horizons and help you realize everything youâre capable of doing. Make a list of different things you want to try, like bungee jumping or running a 10k. Then, get out there and have some fun checking items off your list.[\[17\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-17) Hereâs a list to get you started:
- Take an art class.
- Climb a rock wall.
- Eat Korean barbeque.
- Say âhiâ to 10 strangers.
- Bake enchiladas.
- Stay overnight in a haunted house.
- Ride a bike along a sea wall or boardwalk.
3. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-17-Version-5.jpg)
No one is perfect, so why hold yourself to that standard? Set expectations for yourself like you do for your BFF. You probably cut them some slack, so do the same for yourself. All you can do is your best, and itâs okay if your best fluctuates from day to day.[\[18\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-18)
- Everyone starts as a beginner, so donât expect yourself to be âgoodâ at everything right away. Keep going, and youâll get where you want to be.
- Sometimes you just have to release things into the world. Your painting, novel, or homemade banana bread might not be âperfect,â but itâs better to let people enjoy your creations than to hide them away.
4. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-18-Version-4.jpg)
It sucks majorly when you fail at something. At the same time, itâs a natural part of the path to success. Literally everyone copes with failure, even the most successful people in the world. When you fail, take a lesson from your experience and try again. In the end, itâll all be part of your success storyâand youâll have the confidence to do anything.[\[19\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-19)
- Letâs say you signed up for a marathon but ran out of time to train for it. You know for next time to give yourself more time to prepare for the race, and youâll also be a better runner than you were when you first started.
- Similarly, maybe you tried out for a play but got an ensemble role instead of the lead. Youâll learn a lot as part of the ensemble, and youâll likely get feedback that you can use to improve your audition next time.
5. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-19-Version-4.jpg)
Itâs easy to let your fears stop you from doing whatâs most important to you. When you push past fear, however, your confidence grows, and it gets easier to do what makes you happy. Just take that first step to confront one of your fears. Trust us, itâll get easier as you become more confident.[\[20\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-20)
- You might be afraid of public speaking. Join a Toastmasters club, join the debate team, or sign up to do a reading at an open mic.
- Maybe youâre afraid of talking to people you donât know. Challenge yourself to talk to 5 people you encounter everyday, like the cashier at the grocery store and the neighbor you pass on a walk.
- Perhaps youâre afraid your writing isn't good enough. Attend a writers workshop and share something you wrote aloud.
6. [](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#/Image:Build-Self-Confidence-Step-20-Version-4.jpg)
[**Help others**](https://www.wikihow.com/Help-Others "Help Others")**.** Being a positive force in the world boosts your self-confidence. Make a positive impact by doing random acts of kindness and by lending a helping hand. If you have the time, volunteer for a cause thatâs really important to you, like feeding people in need or helping animals.[\[21\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#_note-21)
- You donât have to do anything major to help others. Just being there for your family and friends can be enough.
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- Question
Where does self confidence come from?
[](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
[](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Moshe-Ratson-MFT-PCC)
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Answer
It's a bit like the question of the chicken or the egg. How can you be confident if you're not confident? Being confident has to do with being your authentic self as you maneuver through the world. That can come from tapping into your inner resources, such as the values and qualities you like about yourself.
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- Push yourself to take the first step toward your goals, and youâll get a big boost in confidence.
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- If you want to improve at something, just [practice](https://www.wikihow.com/Practice "Practice"). Everyone starts as a beginner.
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About This Article
[Article SummaryX](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence#summary_wrapper)
To build self confidence, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts like "I can do this" and "I'm beautiful the way I am." Try to focus on the things you're talented at, and realize that you don't have to be good at everything. You can also build more confidence by spending time with friends and family members that make you feel good about yourself. Finally, avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on being the best version of yourself instead. For more ways you can build self confidence, like exercising regularly, read the article\!
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Jun 25, 2017
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