🕷️ Crawler Inspector

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Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 92 (from laksa106)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa092.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident","crawl_time":1775512345,"first_indexed_time":1444493002,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"com,wikihow!www,\/Be-Confident s443","src_root_hash":"12431216878206919092","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"How to Be Confident (with Pictures) - wikiHow","meta_descriptions":["Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidenceConfidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good..."],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"Download Article\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence\nDownload Article\nConfidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station.\nThe Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself.\nIf you know that you look like a\nconfident\n, capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a\nwinner\n, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:\nDevote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well.\nShower\ndaily, brush and\nfloss\nyour teeth, and groom your skin and hair.\nDress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and\nfeel good\n, you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!\nBe careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.\nAfter all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.\nHow you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine\nstraight\n, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.\nYou won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident\nbody language\nhas been linked to lower levels of stress, too.\n[1]\nAdvertisement\nKeep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.\nIf you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A\nfake smile\ncan be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.\nIt's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.\nOur eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.\n[2]\nIf you can't do it for you, do it for them!\nIf you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable!\nKeep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.\nDon’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.\n[3]\nNow that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make\neye contact\nwith someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too!\nwikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just\nsmile\n. You're off the hook.\nAdvertisement\nNo matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships,\ntalents\n, and most of all, personality.\nThink back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.\nRemember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your\nclass\n, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!\nThink about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.\nNow write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.\n[4]\nTake a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are \"no\" and \"yes,\" respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!\nHere's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just\none event\nand has\nnothing\nto do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.\nSome people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point.\n[5]\nYou're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.\nHere's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.\nStop comparing yourself\nwith everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.\nHaving confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.\nOdds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were\nsmart\n, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.\nNo, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was\nlearned\n. You know what they say about learned things? They can be\nun\nlearned.\nTap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. \"You\" is good. \"You\" exists apart from any other judgment.\nA lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue,\njust stop\n. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?\n[6]\nSo much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the\npast or the future\n. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.\nAdvertisement\nIf there's a sport or\nhobby\nyou've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you\nare\ntalented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign\nlanguage\n, take up an\nart form\nlike\npainting\n, start\nbuilding projects\n—whatever it is that catches your interest.\nDon't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.\nTake up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.\nReader Poll:\nWe asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and\n50%\nof them said\nhobbies.\n[Take Poll]\nMartha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert\nIt's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects.\n\"Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy.\"\nStraight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.\nNo, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, \"Hey!\", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be\nspontaneous\n.\n[7]\nYou're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.\nYou don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?\nWarning:\nJust be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful.\nBeing able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you\nshould\nbe sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.\nUse workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say \"I hope this hasn't been too much trouble\" instead of automatically reverting to \"I'm sorry.\"\nApologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of \"I'm sorry\" like \"I love you.\" It should only be said with care.\nDon't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say \"thank you.\" Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.\nPay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is \"even\" and you haven't been too prideful.\nTake time to pay someone else a\ncompliment\n, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.\nLots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- \"Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?\" might not get the best response.\nIt's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be\ndropped\nlike a bad habit. And now.\nIt's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.\nA lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too!\nPoint number one is\nbreathe\n. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.\nPoint number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.\nA lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.\n[8]\nRight now you're probably saying, \"I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!\" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.\nFocus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.\nSometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.\n[9]\nFailure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.\n[10]\nGo out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.\nAdvertisement\nHelp Building Confidence\nBe Charismatic with this Expert Series\nDo you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series.\nSearch\nAdd New Question\nQuestion\nHow can I boost my self esteem?\nNicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\nEmpowerment Coach\nExpert Answer\nDon't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs.\nQuestion\nHow do you stick up for yourself?\nNicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\nEmpowerment Coach\nExpert Answer\nWhen a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment.\nQuestion\nHow can I improve my self image?\nNicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\nEmpowerment Coach\nExpert Answer\nTry to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards.\nSee more answers\nAsk a Question\n200 characters left\nInclude your email address to get a message when this question is answered.\nSubmit\nAdvertisement\nVideo\nSpeak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.\nThanks\nMake goals for yourself, not expectations.\nThanks\nWhen you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.\nThanks\nShow More Tips\nThanks for submitting a tip for review!\nAdvertisement\nBeing cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.\nThanks\nDo not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.\nThanks\nBeing confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.\n[11]\nThanks\nAdvertisement\nReferences\nAbout This Article\nThanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 5,834,231 times.\nReader Success Stories\nShubham Agarwal\nJul 13, 2016\n\"It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no\n...\"\nmore\nDid this article help you?\nGet all the best how-tos!\nSign up for wikiHow's weekly email newsletter\nSubscribe\nYou're all set!\nX\nFor over two decades, we’ve been on a mission: to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything. Our articles are human written and expert endorsed to ensure readers like you get reliable, current information.\nBefore you get back to learning, we would be grateful if you could take a minute to support wikiHow. Any amount helps. 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Learn why people **trust wikiHow**](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience)\n\n- [Categories](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Special:CategoryListing \"Special:CategoryListing\")\n- [Health](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Health \"Category:Health\")\n- [Psychological Health](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Psychological-Health \"Category:Psychological Health\")\n- [Emotions and Feelings](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Emotions-and-Feelings \"Category:Emotions and Feelings\")\n- [Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Confidence \"Category:Confidence\")\n# [How to Be Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence\n\nExplore this Article\n\nparts\n\n[1 Appearing Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#Appearing-Confident)\n\n[2 Thinking Confidently](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#Thinking-Confidently)\n\n[3 Practicing Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#Practicing-Confidence)\n\n[Help Building Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#sample_Help-Building-Confidence)\n\n[\\+ Show 1 more...](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[\\- Show less...](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nOther Sections\n\n[Expert Q\\&A](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#qa_headline)\n\n[VideoWATCH NOW](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#Video)\n\n[Tips and Warnings](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#tips)\n\n[Related Articles](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#relatedwikihows)\n\n[References](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#References)\n\n**Co-authored by** [Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Mark-Fennell)\n\n[Last Updated: March 29, 2026](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)  [Approved](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[ARTICLE](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#steps_1)\n\n[VIDEO](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#Video)\n\nX\n\nThis article was co-authored by [Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Mark-Fennell). Mark Fennell is a mindset and performance coach based in Ireland. With over 20 years of experience, Mark is renowned for helping individuals and business owners unlock clarity and achieve long-term success. His work combines evidence-based high-performance coaching with strategy and clarity, helping clients turn pressure into purpose and achieve sustained results. Mark is the bestselling author of the book Break Through and is a regular contributor on TV, radio, and many podcasts and media outlets. He has worked with over 250 organizations, including BBC, Newstalk, PwC, Virgin Media, and more. He has also coached over 1,000 one-to-ones and has over half a million followers on social media. As a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and a QQI-qualified professional, Mark has earned a reputation as one of Ireland’s most trusted leading coaches.   \n  \n There are [7 references](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#References) cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.   \n  \n wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 73 testimonials and 82% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status.   \n  \n This article has been viewed 5,834,231 times.\n\nConfidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station.\n\n## The Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself.\n## Steps\nPart 1\n\nPart 1 of 3:\n\n### Appearing Confident\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n1. [![Step 1 Look the part.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/fc\/Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)\n   1\n   **Look the part.** If you know that you look like a [confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Build-Self-Confidence \"Build Self Confidence\"), capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a [winner](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Win-at-Life \"Win at Life\"), too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:\n   \n   - Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. [Shower](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Take-a-Shower \"Take a Shower\") daily, brush and [floss](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Floss \"Floss\") your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.\n   - Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and [feel good](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Feel-Good-About-Yourself \"Feel Good About Yourself\"), you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear\\!\n   - Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.\n   - After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.\n2. [![Step 2 Perfect your posture.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1f\/Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)\n   2\n   **Perfect your posture.** How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine [straight](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stand-Up-Straight \"Stand Up Straight\"), and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.\n   \n   - You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident [body language](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Communicate-With-Body-Language \"Communicate With Body Language\") has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [\\[1\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-1) X Research source\n   Advertisement\n3. [![Step 3 Smile.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)\n   3\n   **Smile.** Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.\n   \n   - If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A [fake smile](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fake-a-Smile \"Fake a Smile\") can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.\n4. [![Step 4 Make eye contact.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)\n   4\n   **Make eye contact.** It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.\n   \n   - Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.[\\[2\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-2) X Research source     If you can't do it for you, do it for them\\!\n5. [![Step 5 Have approachable body language.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)\n   5\n   **Have approachable body language.** If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable\\!\n   \n   - Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.\n   - Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.[\\[3\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-3) X Research source\n6. [![Step 6 Hold your gaze.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d0\/Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)\n   6\n   **Hold your gaze.** Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make [eye contact](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Eye-Contact \"Make Eye Contact\") with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too\\!\n   \n   - wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just [smile](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Smile \"Smile\"). You're off the hook.\n\nPart 2\n\nPart 2 of 3:\n\n### Thinking Confidently\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n1. [![Step 1 Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)\n   1\n   **Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.** No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, [talents](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Discover-Your-Talents \"Discover Your Talents\"), and most of all, personality.\n   \n   - Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.\n   - Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your [class](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-the-Best-Student-in-Your-Class \"Be the Best Student in Your Class\"), or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go\\!\n   - Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.\n     - Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.\n2. [![Step 2 Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4b\/Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)\n   2\n   **Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.**[\\[4\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-4)X [Expert Source](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview  Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are \"no\" and \"yes,\" respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't\\!\n   \n   - Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just *one event* and has *nothing* to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.\n3. [![Step 3 Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)\n   3\n   **Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.** Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point.[\\[5\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-5)X [Expert Source](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview  You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.\n   \n   - Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.\n   - [Stop comparing yourself](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others \"Stop Comparing Yourself to Others\") with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.\n4. [![Step 4 See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)\n   4\n   **See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.** Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.\n   \n   - Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were [smart](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Smart \"Be Smart\"), funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.\n5. [![Step 5 Remember you were born with it.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3e\/Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)\n   5\n   **Remember you were born with it.** No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was *learned*. You know what they say about learned things? They can be *un*learned.\n   \n   - Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. \"You\" is good. \"You\" exists apart from any other judgment.\n6. [![Step 6 Get out of your head.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)\n   6\n   **Get out of your head.** A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, *just stop*. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?[\\[6\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-6)X [Expert Source](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview\n   \n   - So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the [past or the future](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Forget-the-Past,-Live-in-the-Present-and-Not-Think-About-the-Future \"Forget the Past, Live in the Present and Not Think About the Future\"). Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.\n\nPart 3\n\nPart 3 of 3:\n\n### Practicing Confidence\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n1. [![Step 1 Embrace your interests.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/80\/Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)\n   1\n   **Embrace your interests.** If there's a sport or [hobby](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-a-Hobby \"Find a Hobby\") you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you *are* talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign [language](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Learn-Any-Language \"Learn Any Language\"), take up an [art form](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-an-Artist \"Become an Artist\") like [painting](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Paint \"Paint\"), start [building projects](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Build-a-Building \"Build a Building\")—whatever it is that catches your interest.\n   \n   - Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.\n   - Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.\n   - **Reader Poll:** We asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and **50%** of them said **hobbies.** [\\[Take Poll\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Authentic#reader_poll_3165)\n   ![Martha Stewart](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/ba\/Martha_Stewart.jpeg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Martha_Stewart.jpeg)\n   \n   Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert\n   \n   **It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects.** \"Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy.\"\n2. [![Step 2 Talk to strangers.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/91\/Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)\n   2\n   **Talk to strangers.** Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.\n   \n   - No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, \"Hey!\", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be [spontaneous](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-More-Spontaneous \"Be More Spontaneous\").[\\[7\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-7) X Research source     You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.\n   - You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?\n   **Warning:** Just be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful.\n3. [![Step 3 Don't over-apologize.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/ce\/Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)\n   3\n   **Don't over-apologize.** Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you *should* be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.\n   \n   - Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say \"I hope this hasn't been too much trouble\" instead of automatically reverting to \"I'm sorry.\"\n   - Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of \"I'm sorry\" like \"I love you.\" It should only be said with care.\n4. [![Step 4 Accept compliments gracefully.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1f\/Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)\n   4\n   **Accept compliments gracefully.** Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say \"thank you.\" Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.\n   \n   - Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is \"even\" and you haven't been too prideful.\n5. [![Step 5 Build your confidence by helping others.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b4\/Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)\n   5\n   **Build your confidence by helping others.** Take time to pay someone else a [compliment](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Compliment-People \"Compliment People\"), or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.\n   \n   - Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- \"Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?\" might not get the best response.\n6. [![Step 6 Drop those who bring you down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c5\/Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)\n   6\n   **Drop those who bring you down.** It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be [dropped](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/End-a-Toxic-Friendship \"End a Toxic Friendship\") like a bad habit. And now.\n   \n   - It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.\n7. [![Step 7 Slow down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/90\/Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)\n   7\n   **Slow down.** A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too\\!\n   \n   - Point number one is *breathe*. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.\n   - Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.\n8. [![Step 8 Expect success.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/21\/Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)\n   8\n   **Expect success.** A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.[\\[8\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-8) X Research source\n   \n   - Right now you're probably saying, \"I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!\" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.\n   - Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.\n9. [![Step 9 Take risks.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ea\/Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)\n   9\n   **Take risks.** Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.[\\[9\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-9)X [Expert Source](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview\n   \n   - Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.[\\[10\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-10)X [Expert Source](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview\n   - Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.\n\n### Help Building Confidence\n[![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e5\/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png\/340px-Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png.webp)![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e5\/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png\/340px-Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png) Sample Ways to Overcome Shyness](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Sample\/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness)\n\n[![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/15\/Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png\/340px-Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png.webp)![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/15\/Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png\/340px-Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png) Sample Ways to Build Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Sample\/Ways-to-Build-Confidence)\n\n## Be Charismatic with this Expert Series\nDo you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series.\n\n[![1 - Have a Great Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Have-a-Great-Personality-Step-11.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Have-a-Great-Personality-Step-11.jpg) 1 Have a Great Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Great-Personality)\n\n[![2 - Have an Attractive Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/10\/Have-an-Attractive-Personality-Step-10-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Have-an-Attractive-Personality-Step-10-Version-2.jpg) 2 Have an Attractive Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-an-Attractive-Personality)\n\n[![3 - Make Your Personality Stand Out](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b7\/Express-Your-Individuality-Step-9.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Express-Your-Individuality-Step-9.jpg) 3 Make Your Personality Stand Out](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Your-Personality-Stand-Out)\n\n[![4 - Be Likable](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/81\/Be-Likable-Step-33.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Be-Likable-Step-33.jpg) 4 Be Likable](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Likable)\n\n[![5 - Make People Want to Be Around You](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/eb\/Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You-Step-20-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You-Step-20-Version-3.jpg) 5 Make People Want to Be Around You](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You)\n\n[![6 - Groom Your Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/67\/Groom-Your-Personality-Step-18.jpg\/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Groom-Your-Personality-Step-18.jpg) 6 Groom Your Personality](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Groom-Your-Personality)\n\n## Expert Q\\&A\nSearch\n\n[Add New Question]()\n\n- Question\n  \n  How can I boost my self esteem?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)    \n   Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  Don't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs.\n  \n  **Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.**  \n   **Thank you for your feedback.**  \n    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \\$1 helps us in our mission.  [Support wikiHow](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Contribute)\n  \n  [Yes](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [No](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n  \n  [Not Helpful 6](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [Helpful 33](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- Question\n  \n  How do you stick up for yourself?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)    \n   Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  When a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment.\n  \n  **Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.**  \n   **Thank you for your feedback.**  \n    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \\$1 helps us in our mission.  [Support wikiHow](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Contribute)\n  \n  [Yes](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [No](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n  \n  [Not Helpful 5](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [Helpful 15](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- Question\n  \n  How can I improve my self image?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)    \n   Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  [Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  Try to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards.\n  \n  **Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.**  \n   **Thank you for your feedback.**  \n    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \\$1 helps us in our mission.  [Support wikiHow](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Contribute)\n  \n  [Yes](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [No](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n  \n  [Not Helpful 2](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [Helpful 22](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[See more answers](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Questions\/Be-Confident#offset=3)\n\nAsk a Question\n\n200 characters left\n\nInclude your email address to get a message when this question is answered.\n\n[Submit]()\n\nAdvertisement\n## Video\n## Reader Videos\n## Tips\n- Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 66](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 3](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- Make goals for yourself, not expectations.\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 54](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 4](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 50](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 4](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[Show More Tips](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nSubmit a Tip\n\nAll tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published\n\nName\n\nPlease provide your name and last initial\n\n[Submit](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nThanks for submitting a tip for review\\!\n\nAdvertisement\n\n## Warnings\n- Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 181](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 15](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 115](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 10](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[\\[11\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-11) X Research source\n  Thanks\n  \n  [Helpful 0](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)   [Not Helpful 0](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nAdvertisement\n\n## You Might Also Like\n[![Feel Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg.webp) How to Feel Confident ![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Feel-Confident)\n\n[![Act Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg.webp) How to Act (and Feel) More Confident ![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Act-Confident)\n\n[![Fake Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e9\/Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg.webp) How to Fake Confidence ![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e9\/Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fake-Confidence)\n\n[![Exude Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg.webp) How to Exude Confidence ![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Exude-Confidence)\n\n[![Make People Think You Are 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![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/79\/Act-Cool-In-Front-of-Girls-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Act-Cool-In-Front-of-Girls-Step-13.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Act-Cool-In-Front-of-Girls)\n\n[![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg.webp)The Best & Easiest Ways to Overcome Your Shyness ![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-342-184-245px-Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident)\n\nAdvertisement\n\n## References\n1. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-1) <http:\/\/lifehacker.com\/5987141\/faking-powerful-body-language-reduces-stress-and-makes-you-more-confident>\n2. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-2) <http:\/\/www.artofmanliness.com\/2012\/02\/05\/look-em-in-the-eye-part-i-the-importance-of-eye-contact\/>\n3. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-3) <https:\/\/www.weforum.org\/agenda\/2016\/08\/this-is-what-successful-and-happy-people-focus-on\/>\n4. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-4) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview\n5. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-5) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview\n6. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-6) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview\n7. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-7) <https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/fulfillment-any-age\/201107\/10-tips-talk-about-anything-anyone>\n8. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-8) <http:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/8-ways-to-be-more-confident-live-the-life-of-your-dreams\/>\n9. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-9) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview\n\n[More References (2)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#aiinfo)\n\n1. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-10) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview\n2. [↑](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_ref-11) <https:\/\/counseling.olemiss.edu\/common-student-concerns\/perfectionism\/>\n\n## About This Article\n![Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/42\/Mark_Fennell_2.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Mark_Fennell_2.png)\n\nCo-authored by:\n\n[Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Mark-Fennell)\n\nLife & Business Coach\n\nThis article was co-authored by [Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Mark-Fennell). Mark Fennell is a mindset and performance coach based in Ireland. With over 20 years of experience, Mark is renowned for helping individuals and business owners unlock clarity and achieve long-term success. His work combines evidence-based high-performance coaching with strategy and clarity, helping clients turn pressure into purpose and achieve sustained results. Mark is the bestselling author of the book Break Through and is a regular contributor on TV, radio, and many podcasts and media outlets. He has worked with over 250 organizations, including BBC, Newstalk, PwC, Virgin Media, and more. He has also coached over 1,000 one-to-ones and has over half a million followers on social media. As a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and a QQI-qualified professional, Mark has earned a reputation as one of Ireland’s most trusted leading coaches. This article has been viewed 5,834,231 times.\n\n11 votes - 82%\n\nCo-authors: 390\n\nUpdated: March 29, 2026\n\nViews: 5,834,231\n\nCategories: [Featured Articles](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Featured-Articles \"Category:Featured Articles\") \\| [Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Confidence \"Category:Confidence\")\n\n[In other languages](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#other_languages)\n\n[Italian](https:\/\/www.wikihow.it\/Credere-in-se-stessi)\n\n[Spanish](https:\/\/es.wikihow.com\/tener-confianza-en-uno-mismo)\n\n[German](https:\/\/de.wikihow.com\/Selbstsicher-werden)\n\n[Portuguese](https:\/\/pt.wikihow.com\/Ser-Confiante)\n\n[Dutch](https:\/\/nl.wikihow.com\/Zelfverzekerd-zijn)\n\n[French](https:\/\/fr.wikihow.com\/avoir-de-l%27assurance)\n\n[Russian](https:\/\/ru.wikihow.com\/%D0%B1%D1%8B%D1%82%D1%8C-%D1%83%D0%B2%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%BD%D1%8B%D0%BC-%D0%B2-%D1%81%D0%B5%D0%B1%D0%B5)\n\n[Chinese](https:\/\/zh.wikihow.com\/%E5%8F%98%E5%BE%97%E8%87%AA%E4%BF%A1)\n\n[Indonesian](https:\/\/id.wikihow.com\/Menjadi-Percaya-Diri)\n\n[Czech](https:\/\/www.wikihow.cz\/Jak-b%C3%BDt-sebev%C4%9Bdom%C3%BD)\n\n[Arabic](https:\/\/ar.wikihow.com\/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AB%D9%82%D8%A9-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3)\n\n[Hindi](https:\/\/hi.wikihow.com\/%E0%A4%86%E0%A4%A4%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%AE%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%B6%E0%A5%8D%E0%A4%B5%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%80-%E0%A4%AC%E0%A4%A8%E0%A5%87%E0%A4%82)\n\n[Vietnamese](https:\/\/www.wikihow.vn\/Tr%E1%BB%9F-n%C3%AAn-T%E1%BB%B1-tin)\n\n[Korean](https:\/\/ko.wikihow.com\/%EC%9E%90%EC%8B%A0%EA%B0%90%EC%9D%84-%EA%B0%96%EB%8A%94-%EB%B2%95)\n\n[Thai](https:\/\/th.wikihow.com\/%E0%B8%A1%E0%B8%B1%E0%B9%88%E0%B8%99%E0%B9%83%E0%B8%88%E0%B9%83%E0%B8%99%E0%B8%95%E0%B8%B1%E0%B8%A7%E0%B9%80%E0%B8%AD%E0%B8%87)\n\n[Turkish](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com.tr\/Nas%C4%B1l-Kendinden-Emin-Olunur)\n\n[Japanese](https:\/\/www.wikihow.jp\/%E8%87%AA%E5%88%86%E3%81%AB%E8%87%AA%E4%BF%A1%E3%82%92%E6%8C%81%E3%81%A4)\n\n- [Print](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n- [Send fan mail to authors](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nThanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 5,834,231 times.\n\n## Reader Success Stories\n- ![Shubham Agarwal](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/CommunityAvatar1.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png)\n  \n  Shubham Agarwal\n  \n  Jul 13, 2016\n  \"It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no friends at my school, even after a few days. I didn't have many friends because I was facing lack of confidence in myself, as I used to think that I am inferior to them, etc. Even some of my classmates used to put me down every time. After reading this article, I hope that I may make new friends and also eliminate those who put me down every time.\"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[More reader stories](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [Hide reader stories](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[Share your story](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n## Did this article help you?\nYes\n\nNo\n\nAdvertisement\n\nCookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our [cookie policy](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/wikiHow:Cookie-Policy).\n\n![Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/42\/Mark_Fennell_2.png\/-crop-100-100-100px-Mark_Fennell_2.png)\n\nCo-authored by:\n\n[Mark Fennell](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Mark-Fennell)\n\nLife & Business Coach\n\nCo-authors: 390\n\nUpdated: March 29, 2026\n\nViews: 5,834,231\n\n82% of readers found this article **helpful**.\n\n11 votes - 82%\n\nClick a star to add your vote\n\n![Shubham Agarwal](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/CommunityAvatar1.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png)\n\nShubham Agarwal\n\nJul 13, 2016\n\n\"It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no friends at my school, even after a few days. I didn't have many friends because I was facing lack of confidence in myself, as I used to think that I am inferior to them, etc. Even some of my classmates used to put me down every time. After reading this article, I hope that I may make new friends and also eliminate those who put me down every time.\"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n![Ofri K.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/CommunityAvatar1.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png)\n\nOfri K.\n\nJun 7, 2016\n\n\"This article showed me that all people have problems with their self-confidence, and I'm not the only one in the world who struggles with that. It showed me how good I am and that I should never let myself down. I hope I can start a conversation without thinking \"am I funny enough?\", \"am I boring?\", because I know inside that I'm a good person and not a boring one. Thanks again and I hope this will positively affect my life. \"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n![Tina M.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/CommunityAvatar3.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar3.png)\n\nTina M.\n\nMay 29, 2020\n\n\"Before reading this article I always thought I was the only one who struggles with confidence. And I always compare myself with other people. But now after reading it, I realized I don't have to be the smartest, prettiest and most popular person in order to be happy. And it made feel like I am the most confident person in the world.\"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nRated this article:\n\n![Eduardo Barbosa](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/CommunityAvatar3.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar3.png)\n\nEduardo Barbosa\n\nJul 13, 2016\n\n\"I suffer from depression and my self-worth is as low as it can possibly be, so is my self-confidence and my self-esteem. This article helped me in mitigating the effects of depression in my daily life, especially at school. I learned to recognize my good qualities and to use this as an inspiration to keep moving on.\"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n![Martin Bailey](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b0\/CommunityAvatar2.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar2.png)\n\nMartin Bailey\n\nFeb 25, 2019\n\n\"The article helped me reevaluate myself and that which is most important in life. As a long-term anxiety sufferer, a condition for which I have been treated for years, this article was extremely useful and full of excellent advice for self improvement.\"...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n[Share yours\\!](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [More success stories](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident) [Hide success stories](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\n### Quizzes & Games\n[![Am I Hot Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Am_i_hot_quiz.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Am_i_hot_quiz.png.webp) Am I Hot Quiz![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Am_i_hot_quiz.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Am_i_hot_quiz.png)Take Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Hot-Am-I)\n\n[![Attractiveness Score Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4c\/Be-Sexually-Attractive-Step-9.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Be-Sexually-Attractive-Step-9.jpg.webp) Attractiveness Score Quiz![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4c\/Be-Sexually-Attractive-Step-9.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Be-Sexually-Attractive-Step-9.jpg)Take Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Attractiveness-Score)\n\n[![Am I Sexy Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Am_i_sexy_quiz.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Am_i_sexy_quiz.png.webp) Am I Sexy Quiz![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Am_i_sexy_quiz.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Am_i_sexy_quiz.png)Take Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Am-I-Sexy)\n\n[![Am I Hotter Than I Think I Am Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Are_you_hotter_than_you_think_you_are.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Are_you_hotter_than_you_think_you_are.png.webp) Am I Hotter Than I Think I Am Quiz![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Are_you_hotter_than_you_think_you_are.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Are_you_hotter_than_you_think_you_are.png)Take Quiz](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Are-You-Hotter-Than-You-Think-You-Are)\n\n### You Might Also Like\n[![Feel Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg.webp) How to Feel Confident![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/02\/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Feel-Confident)\n\n[![Act Confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg.webp) How to Act (and Feel) More Confident![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Act-Confident)\n\n[![Fake Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e9\/Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg.webp) How to Fake Confidence![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e9\/Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Fake-Confidence-Step-18-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fake-Confidence)\n\n[![Exude Confidence](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg.webp) How to Exude Confidence![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6a\/Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Exude-Confidence-Step-15.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Exude-Confidence)\n\n### Trending Articles\n[![Am I a Princess, Angel, Supermodel, or Baddie?](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c7\/Quiz-angel-princess-model-baddie.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Quiz-angel-princess-model-baddie.png.webp) Am I a Princess, Angel, Supermodel, or Baddie?![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c7\/Quiz-angel-princess-model-baddie.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Quiz-angel-princess-model-baddie.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Am-I-a-Princess,-Angel,-Supermodel-or-Baddie)\n\n[![Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Gay](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/09\/Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Gay-Step-14.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Gay-Step-14.jpg.webp) How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Gay![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/09\/Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Gay-Step-14.jpg\/-crop-127-140-127px-Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Gay-Step-14.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Gay)\n\n[![Am I a Rizzy Sigma?](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6f\/Rizz_sigma.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Rizz_sigma.png.webp) Am I a Rizzy Sigma?![](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6f\/Rizz_sigma.png\/-crop-127-140-127px-Rizz_sigma.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Am-I-a-Rizzy-Sigma)\n\n[![What Greek Goddess Am I? 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Please contact [support@wikihow.pro](mailto:support@wikihow.pro).\n\nSomething went wrong\n\n[Dismiss]()","attrs_readable_markdown":"[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence\n\n[![PDF download](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/extensions\/wikihow\/socialstamp\/images\/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nConfidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station.\n\n## The Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident\nLife & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself.\n\n1. [![Step 1 Look the part.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/fc\/Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)\n   If you know that you look like a [confident](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Build-Self-Confidence \"Build Self Confidence\"), capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a [winner](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Win-at-Life \"Win at Life\"), too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:\n   \n   - Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. [Shower](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Take-a-Shower \"Take a Shower\") daily, brush and [floss](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Floss \"Floss\") your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.\n   - Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and [feel good](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Feel-Good-About-Yourself \"Feel Good About Yourself\"), you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear\\!\n   - Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance.\n   - After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.\n2. [![Step 2 Perfect your posture.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1f\/Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)\n   How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine [straight](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stand-Up-Straight \"Stand Up Straight\"), and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.\n   \n   - You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident [body language](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Communicate-With-Body-Language \"Communicate With Body Language\") has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [\\[1\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-1)\n   Advertisement\n3. [![Step 3 Smile.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)\n   Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.\n   \n   - If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A [fake smile](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fake-a-Smile \"Fake a Smile\") can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.\n4. [![Step 4 Make eye contact.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)\n   It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful.\n   \n   - Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.[\\[2\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-2)  If you can't do it for you, do it for them\\!\n5. [![Step 5 Have approachable body language.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)\n   If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable\\!\n   \n   - Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.\n   - Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.[\\[3\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-3)\n6. [![Step 6 Hold your gaze.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d0\/Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)\n   Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make [eye contact](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Eye-Contact \"Make Eye Contact\") with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too\\!\n   \n   - wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just [smile](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Smile \"Smile\"). You're off the hook.\n\n1. [![Step 1 Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)\n   No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, [talents](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Discover-Your-Talents \"Discover Your Talents\"), and most of all, personality.\n   \n   - Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.\n   - Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your [class](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-the-Best-Student-in-Your-Class \"Be the Best Student in Your Class\"), or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go\\!\n   - Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.\n     - Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.\n2. [![Step 2 Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4b\/Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)\n   [\\[4\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-4)  Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are \"no\" and \"yes,\" respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't\\!\n   \n   - Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just *one event* and has *nothing* to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.\n3. [![Step 3 Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)\n   Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point.[\\[5\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-5)  You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.\n   \n   - Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.\n   - [Stop comparing yourself](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others \"Stop Comparing Yourself to Others\") with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.\n4. [![Step 4 See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6d\/Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)\n   Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.\n   \n   - Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were [smart](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Smart \"Be Smart\"), funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.\n5. [![Step 5 Remember you were born with it.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3e\/Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)\n   No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was *learned*. You know what they say about learned things? They can be *un*learned.\n   \n   - Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. \"You\" is good. \"You\" exists apart from any other judgment.\n6. [![Step 6 Get out of your head.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/62\/Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)\n   A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, *just stop*. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?[\\[6\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-6)\n   \n   - So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the [past or the future](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Forget-the-Past,-Live-in-the-Present-and-Not-Think-About-the-Future \"Forget the Past, Live in the Present and Not Think About the Future\"). Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.\n\n1. [![Step 1 Embrace your interests.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/80\/Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)\n   If there's a sport or [hobby](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-a-Hobby \"Find a Hobby\") you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you *are* talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign [language](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Learn-Any-Language \"Learn Any Language\"), take up an [art form](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Become-an-Artist \"Become an Artist\") like [painting](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Paint \"Paint\"), start [building projects](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Build-a-Building \"Build a Building\")—whatever it is that catches your interest.\n   \n   - Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.\n   - Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.\n   - **Reader Poll:** We asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and **50%** of them said **hobbies.** [\\[Take Poll\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Authentic#reader_poll_3165)\n   ![Martha Stewart](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/ba\/Martha_Stewart.jpeg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Martha_Stewart.jpeg)\n   \n   Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert\n   \n   **It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects.** \"Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy.\"\n2. [![Step 2 Talk to strangers.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/91\/Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)\n   Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.\n   \n   - No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, \"Hey!\", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be [spontaneous](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-More-Spontaneous \"Be More Spontaneous\").[\\[7\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-7)  You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.\n   - You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?\n   **Warning:** Just be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful.\n3. [![Step 3 Don't over-apologize.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/ce\/Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)\n   Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you *should* be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.\n   \n   - Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say \"I hope this hasn't been too much trouble\" instead of automatically reverting to \"I'm sorry.\"\n   - Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of \"I'm sorry\" like \"I love you.\" It should only be said with care.\n4. [![Step 4 Accept compliments gracefully.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1f\/Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)\n   Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say \"thank you.\" Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.\n   \n   - Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is \"even\" and you haven't been too prideful.\n5. [![Step 5 Build your confidence by helping others.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b4\/Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)\n   Take time to pay someone else a [compliment](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Compliment-People \"Compliment People\"), or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.\n   \n   - Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- \"Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?\" might not get the best response.\n6. [![Step 6 Drop those who bring you down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c5\/Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)\n   It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be [dropped](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/End-a-Toxic-Friendship \"End a Toxic Friendship\") like a bad habit. And now.\n   \n   - It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.\n7. [![Step 7 Slow down.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/90\/Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)\n   A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too\\!\n   \n   - Point number one is *breathe*. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.\n   - Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.\n8. [![Step 8 Expect success.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/21\/Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)\n   A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.[\\[8\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-8)\n   \n   - Right now you're probably saying, \"I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!\" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other.\n   - Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.\n9. [![Step 9 Take risks.](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ea\/Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#\/Image:Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)\n   Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.[\\[9\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-9)\n   \n   - Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.[\\[10\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-10)\n   - Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.\n\nHelp Building Confidence\n\nBe Charismatic with this Expert Series\n\nDo you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series.\n\nSearch\n\n[Add New Question]()\n\n- Question\n  \n  How can I boost my self esteem?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  Don't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs.\n- Question\n  \n  How do you stick up for yourself?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  When a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment.\n- Question\n  \n  How can I improve my self image?\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance.\n  \n  [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/63\/Nicolette_Tura.png\/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Author\/Nicolette-Tura-MA)\n  \n  Empowerment Coach\n  \n  Expert Answer\n  \n  Try to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards.\n\n[See more answers](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Questions\/Be-Confident#offset=3)\n\nAsk a Question\n\n200 characters left\n\nInclude your email address to get a message when this question is answered.\n\n[Submit]()\n\nAdvertisement\n## Video\n- Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.\n  Thanks\n- Make goals for yourself, not expectations.\n  Thanks\n- When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight.\n  Thanks\n\n[Show More Tips](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nThanks for submitting a tip for review\\!\n\nAdvertisement\n\n- Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line.\n  Thanks\n- Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.\n  Thanks\n- Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[\\[11\\]](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident#_note-11)\n  Thanks\n\nAdvertisement\n## References\nAbout This Article\n\nThanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 5,834,231 times.\n\nReader Success Stories\n\n- ![Shubham Agarwal](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0a\/CommunityAvatar1.png\/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png)\n  \n  Shubham Agarwal\n  \n  Jul 13, 2016\n  \"It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no...\" [more](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n## Did this article help you?\n\nGet all the best how-tos\\!\n\nSign up for wikiHow's weekly email newsletter\n\n[Subscribe](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nYou're all set\\!\n\n[X](https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Confident)\n\nFor over two decades, we’ve been on a mission: to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything. 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Meta Description	Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidenceConfidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good...
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Boilerpipe Text	Download Article Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence Download Article Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station. The Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself. If you know that you look like a confident , capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a winner , too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks: Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good , you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear! Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance. After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do. How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight , and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you. You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [1] Advertisement Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you. If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth. It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful. Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. [2] If you can't do it for you, do it for them! If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable! Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint. Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture. [3] Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too! wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile . You're off the hook. Advertisement No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents , and most of all, personality. Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations. Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class , or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go! Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes. Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing. [4] Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't! Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident. Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. [5] You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal. Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time. Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better. Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything. Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart , funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it. No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned . You know what they say about learned things? They can be un learned. Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. "You" exists apart from any other judgment. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop . The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it? [6] So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future . Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it. Advertisement If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language , take up an art form like painting , start building projects —whatever it is that catches your interest. Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever. Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists. Reader Poll: We asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and 50% of them said hobbies. [Take Poll] Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects. "Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy." Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed. No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, "Hey!", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous . [7] You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day. You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street? Warning: Just be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful. Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you. Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting to "I'm sorry." Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should only be said with care. Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth. Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful. Take time to pay someone else a compliment , or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes. Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" might not get the best response. It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit. And now. It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make. A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too! Point number one is breathe . When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily. Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity. A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities. [8] Right now you're probably saying, "I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other. Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow. [9] Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so. [10] Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident. Advertisement Help Building Confidence Be Charismatic with this Expert Series Do you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series. Search Add New Question Question How can I boost my self esteem? Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Don't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs. Question How do you stick up for yourself? Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. Empowerment Coach Expert Answer When a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment. Question How can I improve my self image? Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Try to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards. See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Video Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment. Thanks Make goals for yourself, not expectations. Thanks When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight. Thanks Show More Tips Thanks for submitting a tip for review! Advertisement Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line. Thanks Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence. Thanks Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident. [11] Thanks Advertisement References About This Article Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 5,834,231 times. Reader Success Stories Shubham Agarwal Jul 13, 2016 "It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no ..." more Did this article help you? Get all the best how-tos! Sign up for wikiHow's weekly email newsletter Subscribe You're all set! X For over two decades, we’ve been on a mission: to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything. Our articles are human written and expert endorsed to ensure readers like you get reliable, current information. Before you get back to learning, we would be grateful if you could take a minute to support wikiHow. Any amount helps. Thank you. - -
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Learn why people trust wikiHow](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) - [Categories](https://www.wikihow.com/Special:CategoryListing "Special:CategoryListing") - [Health](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Health "Category:Health") - [Psychological Health](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Psychological-Health "Category:Psychological Health") - [Emotions and Feelings](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Emotions-and-Feelings "Category:Emotions and Feelings") - [Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Confidence "Category:Confidence") # [How to Be Confident](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence Explore this Article parts [1 Appearing Confident](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#Appearing-Confident) [2 Thinking Confidently](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#Thinking-Confidently) [3 Practicing Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#Practicing-Confidence) [Help Building Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#sample_Help-Building-Confidence) [\+ Show 1 more...](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [\- Show less...](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Other Sections [Expert Q\&A](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#qa_headline) [VideoWATCH NOW](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#Video) [Tips and Warnings](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#tips) [Related Articles](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#relatedwikihows) [References](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#References) Co-authored by [Mark Fennell](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Mark-Fennell) [Last Updated: March 29, 2026](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Approved](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [ARTICLE](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#steps_1) [VIDEO](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#Video) X This article was co-authored by [Mark Fennell](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Mark-Fennell). Mark Fennell is a mindset and performance coach based in Ireland. With over 20 years of experience, Mark is renowned for helping individuals and business owners unlock clarity and achieve long-term success. His work combines evidence-based high-performance coaching with strategy and clarity, helping clients turn pressure into purpose and achieve sustained results. Mark is the bestselling author of the book Break Through and is a regular contributor on TV, radio, and many podcasts and media outlets. He has worked with over 250 organizations, including BBC, Newstalk, PwC, Virgin Media, and more. He has also coached over 1,000 one-to-ones and has over half a million followers on social media. As a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and a QQI-qualified professional, Mark has earned a reputation as one of Ireland’s most trusted leading coaches. There are [7 references](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#References) cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 73 testimonials and 82% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 5,834,231 times. Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station. ## The Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself. ## Steps Part 1 Part 1 of 3: ### Appearing Confident [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) 1. [![Step 1 Look the part.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/fc/Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg) 1 Look the part. If you know that you look like a [confident](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence "Build Self Confidence"), capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a [winner](https://www.wikihow.com/Win-at-Life "Win at Life"), too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks: - Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. [Shower](https://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Shower "Take a Shower") daily, brush and [floss](https://www.wikihow.com/Floss "Floss") your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. - Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and [feel good](https://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Good-About-Yourself "Feel Good About Yourself"), you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear\! - Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance. - After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do. 2. [![Step 2 Perfect your posture.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1f/Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg) 2 Perfect your posture. How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine [straight](https://www.wikihow.com/Stand-Up-Straight "Stand Up Straight"), and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you. - You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident [body language](https://www.wikihow.com/Communicate-With-Body-Language "Communicate With Body Language") has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [\[1\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-1) X Research source Advertisement 3. [![Step 3 Smile.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/62/Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg) 3 Smile. Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you. - If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A [fake smile](https://www.wikihow.com/Fake-a-Smile "Fake a Smile") can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth. 4. [![Step 4 Make eye contact.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/8b/Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg) 4 Make eye contact. It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful. - Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.[\[2\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-2) X Research source If you can't do it for you, do it for them\! 5. [![Step 5 Have approachable body language.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b2/Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg) 5 Have approachable body language. If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable\! - Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint. - Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.[\[3\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-3) X Research source 6. [![Step 6 Hold your gaze.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/d0/Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg) 6 Hold your gaze. Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make [eye contact](https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Eye-Contact "Make Eye Contact") with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too\! - wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just [smile](https://www.wikihow.com/Smile "Smile"). You're off the hook. Part 2 Part 2 of 3: ### Thinking Confidently [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) 1. [![Step 1 Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/08/Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg) 1 Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down. No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, [talents](https://www.wikihow.com/Discover-Your-Talents "Discover Your Talents"), and most of all, personality. - Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations. - Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your [class](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-the-Best-Student-in-Your-Class "Be the Best Student in Your Class"), or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go\! - Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes. - Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing. 2. [![Step 2 Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/4b/Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg) 2 Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.[\[4\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-4)X [Expert Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't\! - Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident. 3. [![Step 3 Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/ad/Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg) 3 Remember that everyone struggles with confidence. Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point.[\[5\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-5)X [Expert Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal. - Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time. - [Stop comparing yourself](https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others "Stop Comparing Yourself to Others") with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better. 4. [![Step 4 See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6d/Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg) 4 See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement. Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything. - Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were [smart](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Smart "Be Smart"), funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it. 5. [![Step 5 Remember you were born with it.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/3/3e/Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg) 5 Remember you were born with it. No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned. - Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. "You" exists apart from any other judgment. 6. [![Step 6 Get out of your head.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/62/Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg) 6 Get out of your head. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?[\[6\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-6)X [Expert Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview - So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the [past or the future](https://www.wikihow.com/Forget-the-Past,-Live-in-the-Present-and-Not-Think-About-the-Future "Forget the Past, Live in the Present and Not Think About the Future"). Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it. Part 3 Part 3 of 3: ### Practicing Confidence [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) 1. [![Step 1 Embrace your interests.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/80/Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg) 1 Embrace your interests. If there's a sport or [hobby](https://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Hobby "Find a Hobby") you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign [language](https://www.wikihow.com/Learn-Any-Language "Learn Any Language"), take up an [art form](https://www.wikihow.com/Become-an-Artist "Become an Artist") like [painting](https://www.wikihow.com/Paint "Paint"), start [building projects](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Building "Build a Building")—whatever it is that catches your interest. - Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever. - Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists. - Reader Poll: We asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and 50% of them said hobbies. [\[Take Poll\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Authentic#reader_poll_3165) ![Martha Stewart](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/ba/Martha_Stewart.jpeg/-crop-200-200-200px-Martha_Stewart.jpeg) Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects. "Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy." 2. [![Step 2 Talk to strangers.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/91/Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg) 2 Talk to strangers. Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed. - No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, "Hey!", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be [spontaneous](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-More-Spontaneous "Be More Spontaneous").[\[7\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-7) X Research source You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day. - You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street? Warning: Just be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful. 3. [![Step 3 Don't over-apologize.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/ce/Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg) 3 Don't over-apologize. Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you. - Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting to "I'm sorry." - Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should only be said with care. 4. [![Step 4 Accept compliments gracefully.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1f/Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg) 4 Accept compliments gracefully. Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth. - Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful. 5. [![Step 5 Build your confidence by helping others.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b4/Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg) 5 Build your confidence by helping others. Take time to pay someone else a [compliment](https://www.wikihow.com/Compliment-People "Compliment People"), or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes. - Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" might not get the best response. 6. [![Step 6 Drop those who bring you down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c5/Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg) 6 Drop those who bring you down. It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be [dropped](https://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Toxic-Friendship "End a Toxic Friendship") like a bad habit. And now. - It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make. 7. [![Step 7 Slow down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/90/Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg) 7 Slow down. A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too\! - Point number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily. - Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity. 8. [![Step 8 Expect success.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/21/Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg) 8 Expect success. A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.[\[8\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-8) X Research source - Right now you're probably saying, "I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other. - Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. 9. [![Step 9 Take risks.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ea/Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg) 9 Take risks. Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.[\[9\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-9)X [Expert Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview - Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.[\[10\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-10)X [Expert Source](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience) [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Nicolette_Tura.png)Nicolette Tura, MA Empowerment Coach](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Expert Interview - Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident. ### Help Building Confidence [![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/e5/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png/340px-Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png.webp)![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/e5/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png/340px-Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness.png) Sample Ways to Overcome Shyness](https://www.wikihow.com/Sample/Ways-to-Overcome-Shyness) [![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/15/Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png/340px-Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png.webp)![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/15/Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png/340px-Ways-to-Build-Confidence.png) Sample Ways to Build Confidence](https://www.wikihow.com/Sample/Ways-to-Build-Confidence) ## Be Charismatic with this Expert Series Do you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series. [![1 - Have a Great Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2d/Have-a-Great-Personality-Step-11.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Have-a-Great-Personality-Step-11.jpg) 1 Have a Great Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-Personality) [![2 - Have an Attractive Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/10/Have-an-Attractive-Personality-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Have-an-Attractive-Personality-Step-10-Version-2.jpg) 2 Have an Attractive Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/Have-an-Attractive-Personality) [![3 - Make Your Personality Stand Out](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b7/Express-Your-Individuality-Step-9.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Express-Your-Individuality-Step-9.jpg) 3 Make Your Personality Stand Out](https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Personality-Stand-Out) [![4 - Be Likable](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/81/Be-Likable-Step-33.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Be-Likable-Step-33.jpg) 4 Be Likable](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Likable) [![5 - Make People Want to Be Around You](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/eb/Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You-Step-20-Version-3.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You-Step-20-Version-3.jpg) 5 Make People Want to Be Around You](https://www.wikihow.com/Make-People-Want-to-Be-Around-You) [![6 - Groom Your Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/67/Groom-Your-Personality-Step-18.jpg/-crop-432-336-432px-nowatermark-Groom-Your-Personality-Step-18.jpg) 6 Groom Your Personality](https://www.wikihow.com/Groom-Your-Personality) ## Expert Q\&A Search [Add New Question]() - Question How can I boost my self esteem? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Don't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \$1 helps us in our mission. [Support wikiHow](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Contribute) [Yes](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [No](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 6](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Helpful 33](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - Question How do you stick up for yourself? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer When a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \$1 helps us in our mission. [Support wikiHow](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Contribute) [Yes](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [No](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 5](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Helpful 15](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - Question How can I improve my self image? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) [Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Try to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards. Thanks! We're glad this was helpful. Thank you for your feedback. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even \$1 helps us in our mission. [Support wikiHow](https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Contribute) [Yes](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [No](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 2](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Helpful 22](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [See more answers](https://www.wikihow.com/Questions/Be-Confident#offset=3) Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. [Submit]() Advertisement ## Video ## Reader Videos ## Tips - Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment. Thanks [Helpful 66](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 3](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - Make goals for yourself, not expectations. Thanks [Helpful 54](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 4](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight. Thanks [Helpful 50](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 4](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Show More Tips](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published Name Please provide your name and last initial [Submit](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Thanks for submitting a tip for review\! Advertisement ## Warnings - Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line. Thanks [Helpful 181](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 15](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence. Thanks [Helpful 115](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 10](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) - Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[\[11\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-11) X Research source Thanks [Helpful 0](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) [Not Helpful 0](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Advertisement ## You Might Also Like [![Feel Confident](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/02/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg/-crop-342-184-245px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg.webp) How to Feel Confident ![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/02/Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg/-crop-342-184-245px-Feel-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Confident) [![Act Confident](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6d/Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg/-crop-342-184-245px-Act-Confident-Step-29-Version-3.jpg.webp) How to Act (and Feel) More Confident 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[![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/03/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg/-crop-342-184-245px-Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg.webp)The Best & Easiest Ways to Overcome Your Shyness ![](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/03/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg/-crop-342-184-245px-Go-from-Shy-to-Confident-Step-17.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Go-from-Shy-to-Confident) Advertisement ## References 1. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-1) <http://lifehacker.com/5987141/faking-powerful-body-language-reduces-stress-and-makes-you-more-confident> 2. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-2) <http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/02/05/look-em-in-the-eye-part-i-the-importance-of-eye-contact/> 3. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-3) <https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/08/this-is-what-successful-and-happy-people-focus-on/> 4. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-4) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview 5. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-5) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview 6. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-6) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview 7. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-7) <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201107/10-tips-talk-about-anything-anyone> 8. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-8) <http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-ways-to-be-more-confident-live-the-life-of-your-dreams/> 9. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-9) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview [More References (2)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#aiinfo) 1. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-10) Nicolette Tura, MA. Empowerment Coach. Expert Interview 2. [↑](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_ref-11) <https://counseling.olemiss.edu/common-student-concerns/perfectionism/> ## About This Article ![Mark Fennell](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/42/Mark_Fennell_2.png/-crop-100-100-100px-Mark_Fennell_2.png) Co-authored by: [Mark Fennell](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Mark-Fennell) Life & Business Coach This article was co-authored by [Mark Fennell](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Mark-Fennell). Mark Fennell is a mindset and performance coach based in Ireland. With over 20 years of experience, Mark is renowned for helping individuals and business owners unlock clarity and achieve long-term success. His work combines evidence-based high-performance coaching with strategy and clarity, helping clients turn pressure into purpose and achieve sustained results. Mark is the bestselling author of the book Break Through and is a regular contributor on TV, radio, and many podcasts and media outlets. He has worked with over 250 organizations, including BBC, Newstalk, PwC, Virgin Media, and more. He has also coached over 1,000 one-to-ones and has over half a million followers on social media. As a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and a QQI-qualified professional, Mark has earned a reputation as one of Ireland’s most trusted leading coaches. 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After reading this article, I hope that I may make new friends and also eliminate those who put me down every time."..." [more](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) ![Ofri K.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0a/CommunityAvatar1.png/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png) Ofri K. Jun 7, 2016 "This article showed me that all people have problems with their self-confidence, and I'm not the only one in the world who struggles with that. It showed me how good I am and that I should never let myself down. I hope I can start a conversation without thinking "am I funny enough?", "am I boring?", because I know inside that I'm a good person and not a boring one. Thanks again and I hope this will positively affect my life. "..." [more](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) ![Tina M.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/f2/CommunityAvatar3.png/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar3.png) Tina M. 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Readable Markdown	[![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell explains how to build inner and outer confidence [![PDF download](https://www.wikihow.com/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg) Download Article](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station. ## The Best Ways to Look and Feel More Confident Life & Business Coach Mark Fennell says acting outwardly confident can help you build internal confidence. Hold your head high, make eye contact, and smile. At the same time, work on your mindset by recognizing and challenging negative self-talk. Recognize your strengths and set achievable goals for yourself. 1. [![Step 1 Look the part.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/fc/Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-1-Version-3.jpg) If you know that you look like a [confident](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence "Build Self Confidence"), capable person, eventually you'll start to feel like a [winner](https://www.wikihow.com/Win-at-Life "Win at Life"), too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confident is. Try these tricks: - Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. [Shower](https://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Shower "Take a Shower") daily, brush and [floss](https://www.wikihow.com/Floss "Floss") your teeth, and groom your skin and hair. - Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and [feel good](https://www.wikihow.com/Feel-Good-About-Yourself "Feel Good About Yourself"), you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear\! - Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance. Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confidence without basing it on appearance. - After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do. 2. [![Step 2 Perfect your posture.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1f/Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-2-Version-2.jpg) How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine [straight](https://www.wikihow.com/Stand-Up-Straight "Stand Up Straight"), and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you. - You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident [body language](https://www.wikihow.com/Communicate-With-Body-Language "Communicate With Body Language") has been linked to lower levels of stress, too. [\[1\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-1) Advertisement 3. [![Step 3 Smile.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/62/Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-3-Version-3.jpg) Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you. - If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A [fake smile](https://www.wikihow.com/Fake-a-Smile "Fake a Smile") can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth. 4. [![Step 4 Make eye contact.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/8b/Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-4-Version-2.jpg) It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You wouldn't want to be rude or disrespectful. - Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.[\[2\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-2) If you can't do it for you, do it for them\! 5. [![Step 5 Have approachable body language.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b2/Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-5-Version-3.jpg) If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable\! - Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint. - Don’t be too self-conscious about your body language. When you start feeling confidence, you’ll naturally start to improve your posture.[\[3\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-3) 6. [![Step 6 Hold your gaze.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/d0/Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-6-Version-3.jpg) Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make [eye contact](https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Eye-Contact "Make Eye Contact") with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too\! - wikiHow isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just [smile](https://www.wikihow.com/Smile "Smile"). You're off the hook. 1. [![Step 1 Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/08/Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-7-Version-2.jpg) No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, [talents](https://www.wikihow.com/Discover-Your-Talents "Discover Your Talents"), and most of all, personality. - Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations. - Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your [class](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-the-Best-Student-in-Your-Class "Be the Best Student in Your Class"), or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go\! - Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes. - Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing. 2. [![Step 2 Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/4b/Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-8-Version-2.jpg) [\[4\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-4) Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't\! - Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident. 3. [![Step 3 Remember that everyone struggles with confidence.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/ad/Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-9-Version-2.jpg) Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point.[\[5\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-5) You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal. - Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time. - [Stop comparing yourself](https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others "Stop Comparing Yourself to Others") with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better. 4. [![Step 4 See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6d/Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-10-Version-2.jpg) Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything. - Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were [smart](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Smart "Be Smart"), funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it. 5. [![Step 5 Remember you were born with it.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/3/3e/Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-11-Version-2.jpg) No, it's not Maybelline. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned. - Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. "You" exists apart from any other judgment. 6. [![Step 6 Get out of your head.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/62/Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-12-Version-2.jpg) A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?[\[6\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-6) - So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the [past or the future](https://www.wikihow.com/Forget-the-Past,-Live-in-the-Present-and-Not-Think-About-the-Future "Forget the Past, Live in the Present and Not Think About the Future"). Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it. 1. [![Step 1 Embrace your interests.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/80/Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-13-Version-2.jpg) If there's a sport or [hobby](https://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Hobby "Find a Hobby") you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign [language](https://www.wikihow.com/Learn-Any-Language "Learn Any Language"), take up an [art form](https://www.wikihow.com/Become-an-Artist "Become an Artist") like [painting](https://www.wikihow.com/Paint "Paint"), start [building projects](https://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Building "Build a Building")—whatever it is that catches your interest. - Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever. - Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists. - Reader Poll: We asked 286 wikiHow readers which type of activity they find most fulfilling for personal growth, and 50% of them said hobbies. [\[Take Poll\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Authentic#reader_poll_3165) ![Martha Stewart](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/ba/Martha_Stewart.jpeg/-crop-200-200-200px-Martha_Stewart.jpeg) Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects. "Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy." 2. [![Step 2 Talk to strangers.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/91/Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-14-Version-2.jpg) Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed. - No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, "Hey!", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be [spontaneous](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-More-Spontaneous "Be More Spontaneous").[\[7\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-7) You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day. - You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street? Warning: Just be careful not to trust people too much, not everyone is good or has good intentions. There are damaged people who will look for ways to harm you, so be careful. 3. [![Step 3 Don't over-apologize.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/ce/Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-15-Version-2.jpg) Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you. - Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting to "I'm sorry." - Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should only be said with care. 4. [![Step 4 Accept compliments gracefully.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1f/Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-16-Version-2.jpg) Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth. - Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful. 5. [![Step 5 Build your confidence by helping others.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b4/Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-17-Version-2.jpg) Take time to pay someone else a [compliment](https://www.wikihow.com/Compliment-People "Compliment People"), or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes. - Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" might not get the best response. 6. [![Step 6 Drop those who bring you down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/c5/Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-18-Version-2.jpg) It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be [dropped](https://www.wikihow.com/End-a-Toxic-Friendship "End a Toxic Friendship") like a bad habit. And now. - It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make. 7. [![Step 7 Slow down.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/90/Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-19-Version-2.jpg) A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too\! - Point number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily. - Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity. 8. [![Step 8 Expect success.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/21/Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-20-Version-2.jpg) A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities.[\[8\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-8) - Right now you're probably saying, "I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other. - Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. 9. [![Step 9 Take risks.](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ea/Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg)](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#/Image:Be-Confident-Step-21-Version-2.jpg) Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.[\[9\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-9) - Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.[\[10\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-10) - Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident. Help Building Confidence Be Charismatic with this Expert Series Do you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series. Search [Add New Question]() - Question How can I boost my self esteem? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Don't compare yourself to others. Try to love your body and surround yourself with people that you can be real with and if they make you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. You can also incorporate activities that make you feel better about yourself into your schedule, such as watching TV shows, reading books, and joining clubs. - Question How do you stick up for yourself? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer When a situation arises in which a person is either pressuring you or making you do something that you're not comfortable with, take a few breaths and try not to take things personally. Ask yourself what you need in that moment and then advocate for yourself. That could look like asking for some space or letting that person know that you cannot help them in that moment. - Question How can I improve my self image? [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in Asheville, NC, and San Francisco, California. She is dedicated to helping individuals navigate major life transitions—divorce, grief, career shifts, and health challenges—with clarity, confidence, and resilience. She blends psychology, mindfulness, and somatic healing to guide clients in breaking free from self-limiting beliefs and stepping into their power. As the founder of the nonprofit Celestial Wellness Network and co-creator of the music meditation project The Feather and Stone, Nicolette integrates mind, body, and spirit in her work. She is a certified Reiki practitioner, astrologer, and tarot reader, studying under three master teachers, including Kaypacha. Her background includes working as a Therapy Associate in neurology, supporting patients in their healing journeys. Nicolette holds a 500-hour RYT certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, bringing a holistic approach to transformation. She received a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University. With over a decade of experience in nonprofit leadership and personal coaching, she empowers clients to embrace their authentic selves, heal deeply, and create a life of purpose and abundance. [![Nicolette Tura, MA](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/63/Nicolette_Tura.png/-crop-200-200-200px-Nicolette_Tura.png)](https://www.wikihow.com/Author/Nicolette-Tura-MA) Empowerment Coach Expert Answer Try to really celebrate your uniqueness. Rather than looking for external validation, focus your attention inward on the qualities that you like about yourself. The more you know your worth, the more that confidence will begin to radiate outwards. [See more answers](https://www.wikihow.com/Questions/Be-Confident#offset=3) Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. [Submit]() Advertisement ## Video - Speak positively. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment. Thanks - Make goals for yourself, not expectations. Thanks - When you walk, focus on where you're going. Make sure you sit up straight. Thanks [Show More Tips](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident) Thanks for submitting a tip for review\! Advertisement - Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is. Know the line. Thanks - Do not devote your life's mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence. Thanks - Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident.[\[11\]](https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident#_note-11) Thanks Advertisement ## References About This Article Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 5,834,231 times. Reader Success Stories - ![Shubham Agarwal](https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0a/CommunityAvatar1.png/-crop-72-72-72px-CommunityAvatar1.png) Shubham Agarwal Jul 13, 2016 "It was my first day of college, and all my classmates were friends and studied in the similar school. I had no..." 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