🕷️ Crawler Inspector

URL Lookup

Direct Parameter Lookup

Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 147 (from laksa140)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa147.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/","crawl_time":1776189330,"first_indexed_time":1657876528,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"uk,co,psychologies!www,\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/ s443","src_root_hash":"14422574083521866147","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"How to find meaning in life | Psychologies","meta_descriptions":["Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations and find greater meaning in life..."],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"Feel like you're stuck on the wrong path in life? Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life...\nBy\nPsychologies\nLearning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life…\nDo you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin?\nSitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep.\nWhen your dream life brings no fulfillment\nOn the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out.\nOn the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap.\nChasing validation\nThrough tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt.\nMy predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves.\nWhy do we struggle to find meaning in life?\nBut why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before?\nI decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of\nFlow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience\nand founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment.\n‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says.\n‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated.\n‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’\nCompelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up.\nChoosing to break the mould\n‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of\nJoin The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World\n.\n‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’\nGoing in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’\nFinding yourself on the wrong path\nMany people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’.\n‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction.\nOne of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes?\n‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life.\nFeeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change.\nIdentify the changes to be made\nIf our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch.\n‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen.\nWeigh up pros and cons\nWeighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’\nIf we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy.\nIt hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family.\nExperts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way.\nHow to find meaning in life\nHappiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life…\nWe can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass.\n‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’\nFind what makes you happy\nIf you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on.\nAfter a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’\nThink back to your childhood\nAnother trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure?\nAlso, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways.\nThis could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi.\nDon’t be impulsive\nBeware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous.\n‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap.\nMore\ninspiration\n: What is motivation (and how to find it)\nWords: Katherine Baldwin | Images: Shutterstock","attrs_markdown":"[Skip to content](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/#primary)\n\n- [Tests](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/tests\/)\n- [Relationships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/)\n  - [Love life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/love-life\/)\n  - [Family & parenting](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/family-parenting\/)\n  - [Friendships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/friendships\/)\n- [Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n  - [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n  - [Mindfulness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mindfulness\/)\n  - [Creative hobbies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/creative-hobbies\/)\n- [Physical wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/)\n  - 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[Love life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/love-life\/)\n  - [Family & parenting](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/family-parenting\/)\n  - [Friendships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/friendships\/)\n- [Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n  - [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n  - [Mindfulness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mindfulness\/)\n  - [Creative hobbies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/creative-hobbies\/)\n- [Physical wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/)\n  - [Sleep](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/sleep\/)\n  - [Nutrition](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/nutrition\/)\n  - [Movement](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/movement\/)\n- [Career](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/career\/)\n- [Directory](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/)\n  - [Sign up to our directory](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/register-barefoot\/)\n  - [Find a Barefoot Coach](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/coaches\/)\n- [Blogs](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/)\n  - [Barefoot Coaches’ Channel](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/channel\/barefoot-coaches-channel\/)\n  - [Ollie & His Superpowers](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/channel\/ollie-his-superpowers\/)\n\nSearch\n\nMenu\n\n- [Subscribe to the magazine](https:\/\/shop.kelsey.co.uk\/subscribe\/psychologies-magazine?offer=nyny26ad&source=nyny26bsnav&channel=brsite&utm_source=brand&utm_medium=brand-site-nav-bar&utm_campaign=psychologies-nyny26)\n- [Receive our free newsletter](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/newsletter-signup\/)\n- [Coach Area](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/account\/)\n\nFollow us on:\n\n- [Facebook](https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Psychologiesmagazine)\n- [Twitter](https:\/\/twitter.com\/psychologiesmag)\n- [Youtube](https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/PsychologiesUK)\n- [Instagram](https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/psychologiesmagazine\/)\n\n[Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n\n15 July 2022\n\n14 July 2022\n\n### Share this:\n- [Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=twitter)\n- [Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=facebook)\n- [Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=jetpack-whatsapp)\n# How to find meaning in life\nFeel like you're stuck on the wrong path in life? Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life...\n\nBy [![]() **Psychologies**](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_367677437.png?quality=80&w=1080)\n\n**Learning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life…**\n\nDo you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin?\n\nSitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep.\n\n## When your dream life brings no fulfillment\nOn the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out.\n\nOn the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap.\n\n![](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_2119711130.png?w=1024)\n### Chasing validation\nThrough tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt.\n\nMy predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves.\n\n## Why do we struggle to find meaning in life?\nBut why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before?\n\nI decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of *[Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/The%20Psychology%20Of%20Optimal%20Experience)* and founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment.\n\n‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says.\n\n‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated.\n\n‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’\n\nCompelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_1281959434.png?w=1024)\n### Choosing to break the mould\n‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of *[Join The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World](https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Join-Club-Pressure-Transform-World\/dp\/1848313004)*.\n\n‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’\n\nGoing in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’\n\n### Finding yourself on the wrong path\nMany people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’.\n\n‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction.\n\nOne of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes?\n\n‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life.\n\nFeeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_1896409693.png?w=1024)\n## Identify the changes to be made\nIf our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch.\n\n‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen.\n\n### Weigh up pros and cons\nWeighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’\n\nIf we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy.\n\nIt hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family.\n\nExperts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_2147820891.png?w=1024)\n## How to find meaning in life\nHappiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life…\n\nWe can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass.\n\n‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’\n\n### Find what makes you happy\nIf you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on.\n\nAfter a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’\n\n### Think back to your childhood\nAnother trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure?\n\nAlso, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways.\n\nThis could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi.\n\n### Don’t be impulsive\nBeware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous.\n\n‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap.\n\n#### [More *inspiration*: What is motivation (and how to find it)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-is-motivation\/)\n***Words: Katherine Baldwin \\| Images: Shutterstock***\n\n[Life Coach](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/tag\/life-coach\/)[Mental Wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/tag\/mental-wellbeing\/)\n\n### Share this:\n- [Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=twitter)\n- [Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=facebook)\n- [Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/?share=jetpack-whatsapp)\n\n## Related *content*\n[Relationships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/) \/ [Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n\n## [I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\nOver-apologising may seem polite, but it can quietly erode confidence and self-worth. Experts reveal why it happens and how to reclaim your voice with grace. There’s a meme about how you know you’ve really riled a British person when they say, “I beg your pardon?” It’s ironic that even when we are at our most \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[![I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/04\/woman-sorry.png?quality=80&w=495)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [Stop brain fog now: 9 proven ways to clear your mind today](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/stop-brain-fog-now-9-proven-ways-to-clear-your-mind-today\/)\nStruggling with brain fog? Discover expert-backed ways to clear your mind, boost focus, and reclaim mental clarity today. The words ‘cognitive function’ are in the news a lot at the moment. If the sudden focus on the mental state of a certain gentleman has got you wondering about your own mental sharpness, our expert psychologist \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/stop-brain-fog-now-9-proven-ways-to-clear-your-mind-today\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/stop-brain-fog-now-9-proven-ways-to-clear-your-mind-today\/)\n\n[![Stop brain fog now: 9 proven ways to clear your mind today](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Stop brain fog now: 9 proven ways to clear your mind today](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/04\/woman-brain-fog.png?quality=80&w=495)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/stop-brain-fog-now-9-proven-ways-to-clear-your-mind-today\/)\n\n[Love life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/love-life\/)\n\n## [Is your sex life dwindling? How to deal with a difference in libido](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/mismatched-libidos\/)\nNot tonight, darling! A difference in libido is a reality of many relationships and can cause great conflict. Grace Abelola, who has always wanted less sex than her husband, went in search of a solution\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[9 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/mismatched-libidos\/)\n\n[9 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/mismatched-libidos\/)\n\n[![Is your sex life dwindling? How to deal with a difference in libido](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Is your sex life dwindling? How to deal with a difference in libido](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2017\/01\/iStock-512221952web.jpg?quality=80&w=495)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/mismatched-libidos\/)\n\n## More from *Emotional wellbeing*\n[Show all](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n\n[Relationships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/) \/ [Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n\n## [I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\nOver-apologising may seem polite, but it can quietly erode confidence and self-worth. Experts reveal why it happens and how to reclaim your voice with grace. There’s a meme about how you know you’ve really riled a British person when they say, “I beg your pardon?” It’s ironic that even when we are at our most \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[13 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[![I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/04\/woman-sorry.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice\/)\n\n[Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\nA bad mood doesn’t define you. Science shows it’s just a temporary state shaped by stress, sleep, and hormones — and understanding your brain’s response can help you break the cycle of negative thinking. We all have days when we wake with a heaviness we can’t quite place, and before we have even opened the \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[7 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[6 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[![What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/paper-emojis.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[Creative hobbies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/creative-hobbies\/) \/ [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\nCreativity is the key to unlocking your nervous system: Discover how self-expression and creativity boosts mental health, reduces stress and improves your wellbeing In his Sunday Times bestselling book The Creative Act, record producer Rick Rubin wrote: “Your entire life is a form of self-expression. You exist as a creative being in a creative universe. A \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[7 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[6 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[![I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/creative-brain.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/) \/ [Self](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/self\/)\n\n## [Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\nThe world is full of “shoulds” — from careers to friendships, neighbourhoods to wardrobes. Discover seven transformative shifts to help you tune into your inner voice, work through past wounds, and embrace a life aligned with who you truly are. By now, it’s likely that your life is layered with “shoulds.” The career you felt \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[23 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[23 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[![Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/chilled-woman.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [Why we hide worry — and how letting it go can heal us](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-we-hide-worry-and-how-letting-it-go-can-heal-us\/)\nIn a culture that tells us to keep smiling and push through, many of us bury our worry until it grows into overwhelm, anxiety and chronic stress. But acknowledging what’s weighing on our minds may be the first step toward relief. Like so many of my Gen-X cohort, I used to brace myself while walking \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[19 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-we-hide-worry-and-how-letting-it-go-can-heal-us\/)\n\n[19 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-we-hide-worry-and-how-letting-it-go-can-heal-us\/)\n\n[![Why we hide worry — and how letting it go can heal us](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Why we hide worry — and how letting it go can heal us](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/man-breathing.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-we-hide-worry-and-how-letting-it-go-can-heal-us\/)\n\n[Family & parenting](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/family-parenting\/) \/ [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [Chaos, mum guilt, and unexpected joy: What parenting with ADHD really feels like](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/chaos-mum-guilt-and-unexpected-joy-what-parenting-with-adhd-really-feels-like\/)\nParenting with ADHD can be exhausting, and mum guilt is unavoidable. But with self-compassion and practical strategies, the chaos can become creativity, connection, and joy. “Oh no — it’s World Book Day. Or Non-Uniform Day. Or a training day. I’m so sorry, darling, Mummy forgot… again.” Parenting can feel like being the personal assistant to \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[17 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/chaos-mum-guilt-and-unexpected-joy-what-parenting-with-adhd-really-feels-like\/)\n\n[13 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/chaos-mum-guilt-and-unexpected-joy-what-parenting-with-adhd-really-feels-like\/)\n\n[![Chaos, mum guilt, and unexpected joy: What parenting with ADHD really feels like](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Chaos, mum guilt, and unexpected joy: What parenting with ADHD really feels like](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/loving-mum.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/chaos-mum-guilt-and-unexpected-joy-what-parenting-with-adhd-really-feels-like\/)\n\n## [SUBSCRIBE TO PSYCHOLOGIES](https:\/\/shop.kelsey.co.uk\/subscribe\/psychologies-magazine?offer=pyhair&source=pyhairbsf&channel=brsite&utm_source=brand&utm_medium=brand-site-footer-banner&utm_campaign=psychologies-hairstory-gift)\nGet a free gift from Hairstory worth £46 – saving up to 79%\\!\n\n[View Offer](https:\/\/shop.kelsey.co.uk\/subscribe\/psychologies-magazine?offer=pyhair&source=pyhairbsf&channel=brsite&utm_source=brand&utm_medium=brand-site-footer-banner&utm_campaign=psychologies-hairstory-gift)\n\n![](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/04\/current-issue-ps-2.png)\n\n## Sign up to our weekly newsletter\nOur free weekly newsletter provides you with inspiration, advice, news, quotations, competitions and exclusive offers.\n\n[Sign up](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/newsletter-signup\/)\n\n![THIS IS ALT.](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)\n\n![THIS IS ALT.](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/plugins\/kelseymedia-psychologies-blocks\/assets\/patterns\/newsletter\/newsletter-pattern-illustration.png)\n### Top *reads*\n[Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\nA bad mood doesn’t define you. Science shows it’s just a temporary state shaped by stress, sleep, and hormones — and understanding your brain’s response can help you break the cycle of negative thinking. We all have days when we wake with a heaviness we can’t quite place, and before we have even opened the \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[7 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[6 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[![What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/paper-emojis.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth\/)\n\n[Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/) \/ [Self](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/self\/)\n\n## [Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\nThe world is full of “shoulds” — from careers to friendships, neighbourhoods to wardrobes. Discover seven transformative shifts to help you tune into your inner voice, work through past wounds, and embrace a life aligned with who you truly are. By now, it’s likely that your life is layered with “shoulds.” The career you felt \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[23 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[23 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[![Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Becoming the authentic you: seven simple shifts to reclaim your happiness](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/chilled-woman.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/becoming-the-authentic-you-seven-simple-shifts-to-reclaim-your-happiness\/)\n\n[Creative hobbies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/creative-hobbies\/) \/ [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\nCreativity is the key to unlocking your nervous system: Discover how self-expression and creativity boosts mental health, reduces stress and improves your wellbeing In his Sunday Times bestselling book The Creative Act, record producer Rick Rubin wrote: “Your entire life is a form of self-expression. You exist as a creative being in a creative universe. A \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[7 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[6 April 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[![I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![I’d never heard of him before, but Rick Rubin’s book on creativity changed my life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/creative-brain.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/id-never-heard-of-him-before-but-rick-rubins-book-on-creativity-changed-my-life\/)\n\n[Relationships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/) \/ [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [The science of kindness: Why reaching out to a friend makes us both feel happier](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/the-science-of-kindness-why-reaching-out-to-a-friend-makes-us-both-feel-happier\/)\nIn a world that often feels tense and divided, kindness may be one of the most powerful tools we have. Small acts of compassion can reduce stress, improve health and spread happiness far beyond the moment they happen. Some days it can feel as though the world is running on tension. The news cycle moves \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[13 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/the-science-of-kindness-why-reaching-out-to-a-friend-makes-us-both-feel-happier\/)\n\n[13 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/the-science-of-kindness-why-reaching-out-to-a-friend-makes-us-both-feel-happier\/)\n\n[![The science of kindness: Why reaching out to a friend makes us both feel happier](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![The science of kindness: Why reaching out to a friend makes us both feel happier](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/hand-heart-sunset.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/the-science-of-kindness-why-reaching-out-to-a-friend-makes-us-both-feel-happier\/)\n\n[Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [Why my ADHD means I’m brilliant in a crisis — and burned out by ‘business as usual’](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-my-adhd-means-im-brilliant-in-a-crisis-and-burned-out-by-business-as-usual\/)\nFor adults with ADHD, high-stakes moments can bring brilliance — but routine tasks can feel impossible. Discover how the hidden “ADHD tax” and constant mental load reveal the cost of living in a world not built for you. Most people know ADHD is associated with distraction, impulsivity, and difficulty with everyday tasks. But what few \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[17 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-my-adhd-means-im-brilliant-in-a-crisis-and-burned-out-by-business-as-usual\/)\n\n[13 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-my-adhd-means-im-brilliant-in-a-crisis-and-burned-out-by-business-as-usual\/)\n\n[![Why my ADHD means I’m brilliant in a crisis — and burned out by ‘business as usual’](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Why my ADHD means I’m brilliant in a crisis — and burned out by ‘business as usual’](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/bored.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/why-my-adhd-means-im-brilliant-in-a-crisis-and-burned-out-by-business-as-usual\/)\n\n[Self](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/self\/) \/ [Mental health](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/mental-health\/)\n\n## [When you don’t fit the stereotype: why ADHD in women can look different](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/when-you-dont-fit-the-stereotype-why-adhd-in-women-can-look-different\/)\nOften overlooked and misunderstood, ADHD in women can look very different from the stereotype. Many women with ADHD appear organised and socially capable while quietly struggling with focus, fatigue and internal overwhelm. “I used to be so good at friendships. I had so many complex coping mechanisms that made me a good friend,” laughs Sam \\[…\\]\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[17 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/when-you-dont-fit-the-stereotype-why-adhd-in-women-can-look-different\/)\n\n[13 March 2026](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/when-you-dont-fit-the-stereotype-why-adhd-in-women-can-look-different\/)\n\n[![When you don’t fit the stereotype: why ADHD in women can look different](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![When you don’t fit the stereotype: why ADHD in women can look different](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/do-I-have-adhd.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/when-you-dont-fit-the-stereotype-why-adhd-in-women-can-look-different\/)\n***\n### Take 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Take our test to find your personal mood management focus and discover what will lift your mood when you need it the most.\n\n[![]()](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n[8 September 2025](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/test\/test-whats-your-personal-mood-booster\/)\n\n[8 September 2025](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/test\/test-whats-your-personal-mood-booster\/)\n\n[![Test: What’s your personal mood booster?](data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==)![Test: What’s your personal mood booster?](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/09\/Web-images.png?quality=80&w=130&h=130&crop=1)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/test\/test-whats-your-personal-mood-booster\/)\n\n[Show all tests](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/tests\/)\n\n[Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/)\n\n- [Tests](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/tests\/)\n- [Relationships](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/relationships\/)\n- [Emotional wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/emotional-wellbeing\/)\n- [Physical wellbeing](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/physical-wellbeing\/)\n- [Career](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/career\/)\n- [Find a Barefoot Coach](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/coaches)\n- [Join our coaching directory](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/register-barefoot\/)\n\nFollow us on:\n\n- [Facebook](https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Psychologiesmagazine)\n- [Twitter](https:\/\/twitter.com\/psychologiesmag)\n- [Youtube](https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/PsychologiesUK)\n- [Instagram](https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/psychologiesmagazine\/)\n\n- [Terms & Conditions](https:\/\/www.kelsey.co.uk\/terms-conditions\/)\n- [Sign Up To Our Free Newsletter](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/newsletter-signup\/)\n- [About Psychologies](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/about-us\/)\n- [Contact the team](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/contact-team\/)\n- [Cookie Policy](https:\/\/www.kelsey.co.uk\/cookie-policy\/)\n- [Privacy Policy](https:\/\/www.kelsey.co.uk\/privacy-notice\/)\n- [Store Finder](https:\/\/frontline-group.co.uk\/store-finder\/)\n\n[Coach Sign in](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/login)\n\nKelsey Media, The Granary, Downs Court, Yalding Hill, Yalding, Kent ME18 6AL.   \n ©   Kelsey Media Ltd, kelsey.co.uk\n\nClose this module\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2026\/03\/PY-Hairstory-pop-up.png)\n\nFREE gift from Hairstory\\!\n\nSubscribe to Psychologies and save up to 79%! Plus, receive a FREE gift from Hairstory worth £46\\!\n\n[Subscribe now](https:\/\/shop.kelsey.co.uk\/subscribe\/psychologies-magazine?offer=pyhair&source=pyhairpop&channel=brsite&utm_source=brand&utm_medium=brand-site-pop-up&utm_campaign=psychologies-hairstory-gift)\n\n[No thanks, I’m not interested\\!](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/)","attrs_readable_markdown":"Feel like you're stuck on the wrong path in life? Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life...\n\nBy [![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/cropped-psychologies-favicon-1.png?quality=80&w=32) **Psychologies**](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/author\/psychologies\/)\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_367677437.png?quality=80&w=1080)\n\n**Learning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life…**\n\nDo you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin?\n\nSitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep.\n\n## When your dream life brings no fulfillment\nOn the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out.\n\nOn the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap.\n\n![](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_2119711130.png?w=1024)\n\n### Chasing validation\nThrough tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt.\n\nMy predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves.\n\n## Why do we struggle to find meaning in life?\nBut why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before?\n\nI decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of *[Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/how-to-find-meaning-in-life\/The%20Psychology%20Of%20Optimal%20Experience)* and founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment.\n\n‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says.\n\n‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated.\n\n‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’\n\nCompelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_1281959434.png?w=1024)\n\n### Choosing to break the mould\n‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of *[Join The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World](https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Join-Club-Pressure-Transform-World\/dp\/1848313004)*.\n\n‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’\n\nGoing in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’\n\n### Finding yourself on the wrong path\nMany people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’.\n\n‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction.\n\nOne of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes?\n\n‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life.\n\nFeeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_1896409693.png?w=1024)\n\n## Identify the changes to be made\nIf our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch.\n\n‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen.\n\n### Weigh up pros and cons\nWeighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’\n\nIf we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy.\n\nIt hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family.\n\nExperts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way.\n\n![how to find meaning in life](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/07\/shutterstock_2147820891.png?w=1024)\n\n## How to find meaning in life\nHappiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life…\n\nWe can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass.\n\n‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’\n\n### Find what makes you happy\nIf you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on.\n\nAfter a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’\n\n### Think back to your childhood\nAnother trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure?\n\nAlso, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways.\n\nThis could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi.\n\n### Don’t be impulsive\nBeware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous.\n\n‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap.\n\n#### [More *inspiration*: What is motivation (and how to find it)](https:\/\/www.psychologies.co.uk\/what-is-motivation\/)\n***Words: Katherine Baldwin \\| Images: Shutterstock***","meta_canonical":null}

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Boilerpipe Text	Feel like you're stuck on the wrong path in life? Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life... By Psychologies Learning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life… Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin? Sitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep. When your dream life brings no fulfillment On the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out. On the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap. Chasing validation Through tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt. My predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves. Why do we struggle to find meaning in life? But why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before? I decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience and founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment. ‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says. ‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated. ‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’ Compelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up. Choosing to break the mould ‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of Join The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World . ‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’ Going in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’ Finding yourself on the wrong path Many people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’. ‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction. One of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes? ‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life. Feeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change. Identify the changes to be made If our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch. ‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. Weigh up pros and cons Weighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’ If we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy. It hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family. Experts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way. How to find meaning in life Happiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life… We can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass. ‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’ Find what makes you happy If you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on. After a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’ Think back to your childhood Another trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure? Also, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways. This could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. Don’t be impulsive Beware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous. ‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap. More inspiration : What is motivation (and how to find it) Words: Katherine Baldwin \| Images: Shutterstock
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Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life... By [![]() Psychologies](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/author/psychologies/) ![](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_367677437.png?quality=80&w=1080) Learning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life… Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin? Sitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep. ## When your dream life brings no fulfillment On the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out. On the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap. ![](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==) ![](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_2119711130.png?w=1024) ### Chasing validation Through tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt. My predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves. ## Why do we struggle to find meaning in life? But why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before? I decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of [Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/The%20Psychology%20Of%20Optimal%20Experience) and founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment. ‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says. ‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated. ‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’ Compelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up. ![how to find meaning in life](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==) ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_1281959434.png?w=1024) ### Choosing to break the mould ‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of [Join The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Join-Club-Pressure-Transform-World/dp/1848313004). ‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’ Going in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’ ### Finding yourself on the wrong path Many people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’. ‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction. One of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes? ‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life. Feeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change. ![how to find meaning in life](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==) ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_1896409693.png?w=1024) ## Identify the changes to be made If our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch. ‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. ### Weigh up pros and cons Weighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’ If we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy. It hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family. Experts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way. ![how to find meaning in life](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==) ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_2147820891.png?w=1024) ## How to find meaning in life Happiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life… We can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass. ‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’ ### Find what makes you happy If you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on. After a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’ ### Think back to your childhood Another trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure? Also, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways. This could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ### Don’t be impulsive Beware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous. ‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap. #### [More inspiration: What is motivation (and how to find it)](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/what-is-motivation/) *Words: Katherine Baldwin \\| Images: Shutterstock* [Life Coach](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tag/life-coach/)[Mental Wellbeing](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tag/mental-wellbeing/) ### Share this: - [Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/?share=twitter) - [Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/?share=facebook) - [Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/?share=jetpack-whatsapp) ## Related content [Relationships](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/relationships/) / [Emotional wellbeing](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/emotional-wellbeing/) ## [I’m so sorry for apologising all the time: How to reclaim your voice](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/im-so-sorry-for-apologising-all-the-time-how-to-reclaim-your-voice/) Over-apologising may seem polite, but it can quietly erode confidence and self-worth. 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[Sign up](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/newsletter-signup/) ![THIS IS ALT.](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==) ![THIS IS ALT.](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/plugins/kelseymedia-psychologies-blocks/assets/patterns/newsletter/newsletter-pattern-illustration.png) ### Top reads [Mental health](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/) ## [What stress really does to your mood: The neuroscience of emotions, stress and self-worth](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/what-stress-really-does-to-your-mood-the-neuroscience-of-emotions-stress-and-self-worth/) A bad mood doesn’t define you. Science shows it’s just a temporary state shaped by stress, sleep, and hormones — and understanding your brain’s response can help you break the cycle of negative thinking. 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Readable Markdown	Feel like you're stuck on the wrong path in life? Learn how to find greater meaning and build a more fulfilling life... By [![](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/02/cropped-psychologies-favicon-1.png?quality=80&w=32) Psychologies](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/author/psychologies/) ![](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_367677437.png?quality=80&w=1080) Learning how to find greater meaning in life means aligning with your true sense of purpose and tapping into what matters most to you. Katherine Baldwin takes a closer look at how to reconnect with your inner, most heartfelt motivations, deal positively with life’s inevitable disappointments and celebrate your life… Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering, is there more to life than this? Do you yearn for greater fulfilment? You may have ticked all the life boxes: devoted partner, successful career, happy family life… and yet sometimes there is still this sense that something indefinable is missing. But where do you begin? Sitting in front of my computer screen, I knew there was something seriously amiss. This was more than just a bad day at the office or a case of the mid-week blues. My malaise went much deeper and it wasn’t transitory. I felt like my light had gone out and my soul had gone to sleep. ## When your dream life brings no fulfillment On the outside, everything looked great. I had a career I’d always dreamed of – as a journalist for a major news organisation. I was based in the Houses of Parliament and had been to Downing Street, the White House, Afghanistan and Iraq. I was in my mid-30s, owned my own flat, had a broad social circle and went on holiday wherever I pleased. I was single, but was sure my romantic life would work itself out. On the inside, though, the picture was less bright. After 13 years, my enthusiasm for my high-adrenalin job had faded into disinterest and I felt like an actor playing a part, living in fear of being found out. At home alone, I felt desolate, and the nights out with friends or exotic trips never filled the gap. ![](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_2119711130.png?w=1024) ### Chasing validation Through tears, I found myself asking: ‘What’s the point?’ I was experiencing a crisis of meaning brought on by a lifetime of chasing things I believed would fulfil me or please others: academic achievement and career success. I had thought that status, security and external recognition would make me feel happy, but the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt. My predicament, and the path that led me there, is one that affects a great many of us. We pursue careers, relationships, possessions, social connections, even hobbies, without stopping to think whether they’re right for us. In doing so, we drift far away from our authentic selves. ## Why do we struggle to find meaning in life? But why do so many of us struggle with knowing how to find meaning in life when, arguably, we have more opportunities to find it than ever before? I decide to track down eminent psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of [Flow: The Psychology Of Optimal Experience](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-to-find-meaning-in-life/The%20Psychology%20Of%20Optimal%20Experience) and founding co-director of the Quality of Life Research Centre at Claremont Graduate University, who has contributed pioneering work to our understanding of happiness, creativity and human fulfilment. ‘There are so many choices around us and none of them is guaranteed to make us happy, so we try the more obvious ones; the ones we’ve heard about fromour parents or read about in books,’ he says. ‘But it turns out we are a different person to those who like that particular choice, so we end up feeling that we don’t fit in where we are, and then get irritated and frustrated. ‘Usually this is because there’s a mismatch between what we’re doing and what we need to do, or feel at some level that we should be doing. But we ignore that feeling because we say: “That’s not my life. My life is to get up and do this”.’ Compelled by parental or peer pressure, many of us become lawyers or doctors, get married and have children, buy homes in the city or country, or travel to certain destinations. This urge to follow the pack is part of our evolutionary make-up. ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_1281959434.png?w=1024) ### Choosing to break the mould ‘It used to be the case that our peer groups were made up of people who were genetically related to us, so the more social and groupist you were, the better the chance your genes survived to the next generation,’ says Tina Rosenberg, journalist and author of [Join The Club: How Peer Pressure Can Transform The World](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Join-Club-Pressure-Transform-World/dp/1848313004). ‘That’s no longer the case, but the need to belong to a group, to have the respect and approval of our peers, is still something that’s incredibly important. It’s perhaps our most powerful human drive.’ Going in a different direction to our peers when learning how to find meaning in life can feel frightening and unsafe. ‘It can be lonely to do your own thing, because you look to others for affirmation and mirroring,’ says integrative psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen. ‘If they’re doing it, it must be OK. If I’m the only one doing it, is it OK?’ ### Finding yourself on the wrong path Many people are in their 30s or 40s when they realise they’re on a path that doesn’t suit them, but the desire to learn how to find greater meaning in life can happen at any age. After four years in investment banking, Jane, 28, felt ‘soul dead’. ‘I was in a well-paid job, but now I see I was drawn to the industry because I wanted others to validate me. I loved being able to say I worked at a big-name bank.’ Jane has now changed career and is creating a social enterprise to help people recovering from addiction. One of the trickiest things to ascertain in our quest for fulfillment is learning to distinguish between life’s natural low-points; a few bad days in a row versus a genuine crisis of meaning that requires immediate action. And how do we know whether we need to make a complete change, just some minor adjustments or simply sit out a period of discontent until it passes? ‘Sometimes you’re completely overtaken – it’s like a tsunami and the changes just have to be made,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. In my case, I ignored my distress until I didn’t have a choice. The tears began to flow too fast and I was forced to take time off work and re-evaluate my life. Feeling empty every day, dreading getting up in the morning or questioning the point of our work, relationship or life, are clear signs it’s time for a change. ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_1896409693.png?w=1024) ## Identify the changes to be made If our dissatisfaction levels are less critical, however, we can test the waters in other areas to see if this helps us learn how to find greater meaning in life. We can try out new hobbies, investigate different careers, or spend time away from a difficult relationship. We might discover our lives merely needed shaking up a little or realise it was just a bad patch. ‘You need to take time to think and to talk about what’s going on. Take a relationship – is it something that has life in it but has just drifted into choppy waters, or is it actually something that needs to end? You will only know if you start looking and exploring,’ says Cowan-Jenssen. ### Weigh up pros and cons Weighing up the pros and cons of one choice over another can be helpful. Or we can ask ourselves what we would advise our best friend to do in similar circumstances. This can be telling. ‘You’re unlikely to tell your friend to stay in a job that’s making her unhappy,’ adds Cowan-Jenssen. ‘We can be wise for somebody else, but it’s much harder to follow our own advice.’ If we’re lucky, opportunities may come our way that make the prospect of change less daunting – but if we are going to learn how to find greater meaning in life, we have to be open to them. For me, the chance to take voluntary redundancy felt like a lifeline. The money bought me time to reflect on my values and on what made me happy. It hasn’t been a straight-forward path, but four years after swapping my high-flying job for a freelance career, I feel I’m finally on the right track. I’ve also realigned my priorities so that work is just one element of my life. I now have space to nurture myself through exercise, self-care and hobbies, and to spend time with friends and family. Experts agree that relationships and community are key to finding meaning. The road to fulfilment can be a long and winding one, but my experience shows we can all find our way. ![how to find meaning in life](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2022/07/shutterstock_2147820891.png?w=1024) ## How to find meaning in life Happiness expert Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi shares his tips on how to find meaning and fulfillment in life… We can often feel overwhelmed by the array of options available to us, but there are ways in which we can become more attuned to our authentic selves and learn to follow our internal compass. ‘The choices that will make your life better are hidden among so many others that won’t work for you, so you have to be careful about paying attention to your feelings and reactions,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ‘You have to try to find out what your strengths really are and what makes you feel better about life.’ ### Find what makes you happy If you don’t know what makes you feel happy, alive and positive, he suggests keeping a diary. At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you and the things you weren’t so keen on. After a couple of weeks, look over what you’ve written. Chances are you’ve been doing too many things that bring negative feelings. ‘See if there is any way to begin to shift the balance in favour of those things that work for you. You have to figure out a way to reorganise your energy and your time so you can get a life that is more rewarding for you.’ ### Think back to your childhood Another trick is to think back to what you enjoyed in your childhood. Maybe you liked to play the piano but gave it up because you weren’t good enough. But why not start playing again, purely for pleasure? Also, pay attention to when you feel upset by something and moved to do something about it – this might lead you to your passion. Sometimes the bigger aspects of our lives – family or careers – are difficult to change, but we can start by seeking fulfilment in smaller ways. This could be as simple as taking more foreign trips or spending more time with friends. ‘You need to begin to take charge of your own life. Nobody else will do that for you,’ says Csikszentmihalyi. ### Don’t be impulsive Beware, though, of knee-jerk reactions. While ‘better the devil you know’ can keep us stuck in an unsatisfactory situation for years, thinking the grass is always greener can be just as dangerous. ‘Impulsive changes look kind of heroic – when you say: “OK, I’m going to quit my job or leave my family and it’s going to be better”– but very often you just move from one feeling of frustration to another,’ he says. It’s best to take things slowly and do your research carefully and thoroughly before you make a leap. #### [More inspiration: What is motivation (and how to find it)](https://www.psychologies.co.uk/what-is-motivation/) *Words: Katherine Baldwin \\| Images: Shutterstock*
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