🕷️ Crawler Inspector

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Direct Parameter Lookup

Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 174 (from laksa173)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa174.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/","crawl_time":1776327231,"first_indexed_time":1525927321,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"com,tinybuddha!\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/ s443","src_root_hash":"3010022087703864374","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"The Little Things in Life Are the Ones That Matter Most - Tiny Buddha","meta_descriptions":["This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most."],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali\nI followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him.\nHe didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks.\nBut he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away.\nI used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild.\nAnd now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son\ndied\nin an accident a week before his first day of high school.\nI followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing.\nA few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble.\nThat boy’s hair was my pebble.\nYou’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son.\nWe both\nfeared\nit would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room.\n“None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.”\nHe stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.”\nIt wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down.\nA tiny pebble will forever make us stumble.\nAnd yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s\nlaughter\n. There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair.\nLife is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all.\nAfter Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together.\nBut my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time.\nAnd Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly.\nWe shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the\nordinary moments\nthat are so easy to take for granted.\nLike the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date.\nI still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again.\nThis is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most.\nOur family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night.\nDon’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together.\nI still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee.\nAnd I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life.\nAbout\nLinda Broder\nLinda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at\nlindabroder.com\/hope\n.\nSee a typo or inaccuracy? Please\ncontact us\nso we can fix it!","attrs_markdown":"[Menu](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/)\n\n- [Home](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/)\n  - [About](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/about\/)\n  - [Frequently Asked Questions](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/tiny-buddha-frequently-asked-questions\/)\n  - [Helpful Free Resources](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/helpful-free-resources\/)\n  - [Contact](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/contact\/)\n- [Blog](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/category\/blog\/)\n  - [All posts](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/category\/blog\/)\n  - [Change](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/change-challenges\/change-life-deal\/)\n  - [Challenges](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/change-challenges\/coping-tough-times\/)\n  - [Happiness & Fun](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/happiness-fun\/)\n  - [Healthy Habits](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/healthy-habits\/)\n  - [Letting Go](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/letting-go\/)\n  - [Love & Relationships](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/love-relationships\/)\n  - [Mental Health](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/mental-health\/)\n  - [Mindfulness & Peace](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/mindfulness-peace\/)\n  - [Purpose & Passion](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/purpose-passion\/)\n- [Quotes](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/wisdom-quotes\/)\n- [Fun & Inspiring](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/category\/fun-and-inspiring\/)\n- [Forums](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/forums)\n  - [All forums](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/forums\/)\n  - [Topics](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/topics\/)\n  - [Register](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/register\/)\n- [Advertise](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/advertise\/)\n- [Submit a Post](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/submission-guidelines\/)\n- [Shop](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/books-and-things\/)\n  - [Books & Things](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/books-and-things\/)\n- - [Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/selfcarecourse\/)\n  - [Login](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/wp-login.php?redirect_to=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fblog%2Fthe-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most%2F)\n\n[![Tiny Buddha](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/themes\/tinybuddha\/images\/logo.png)](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/ \"Tiny Buddha\")\n\n![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/2021header-widget.png)\n\n# The Little Things in Life Are the Ones That Matter Most\nBy [Linda Broder](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/author\/linda-broder\/ \"Posts by Linda Broder\")\n\n![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Family.png)\n\n**“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali**\n\nI followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him.\n\nHe didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks.\n\nBut he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away.\n\nI used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild.\n\n**And now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son [died](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/love-relationships\/loss-grief\/) in an accident a week before his first day of high school.**\n\nI followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing.\n\nA few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble.\n\nThat boy’s hair was my pebble.\n\nYou’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son.\n\nWe both [feared](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/letting-go\/emotions\/) it would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room.\n\n“None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.”\n\n**He stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.”**\n\nIt wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down.\n\nA tiny pebble will forever make us stumble.\n\nAnd yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s [laughter](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/why-its-essential-to-find-humor-during-your-darkest-hours\/). There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair.\n\nLife is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all.\n\nAfter Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together.\n\nBut my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time.\n\nAnd Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly.\n\nWe shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the [ordinary moments](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/grateful-ordinary-life-enough\/) that are so easy to take for granted.\n\nLike the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date.\n\nI still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again.\n\n**This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most.**\n\nOur family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night.\n\nDon’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together.\n\nI still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee.\n\nAnd I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life.\n\n[See more  posts](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/)\n\n![](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e5e4e3b71cc2ba4a846ea605d6b35ec962d994428db8764eaa6ac90626759705?s=100&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\n### About [Linda Broder](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/author\/linda-broder\/ \"Linda Broder\")\nLinda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at [lindabroder.com\/hope](https:\/\/www.lindabroder.com\/hope).\n\n- [Web](http:\/\/www.lindabroder.com\/ \"Linda Broder On The Web\")\n- [More Posts](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/author\/linda-broder\/ \"More Posts By Linda Broder\")\n\nSee a typo or inaccuracy? Please [contact us](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/contact\/) so we can fix it\\!\n\n### Related posts:\n[![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/Self-love-206x137.jpg)The Vault in Our Hearts: How I’m Learning to Fill It with My Own Love](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-vault-in-our-hearts-how-im-learning-to-fill-it-with-my-own-love\/ \"The Vault in Our Hearts: How I’m Learning to Fill It with My Own Love\")  [![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Sun-meditating-man-206x137.png)45 Work Self-Care Ideas for Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/45-work-self-care-ideas-for-your-physical-emotional-and-mental-health\/ \"45 Work Self-Care Ideas for Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health\")  [![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Letting-go-1-206x137.png)Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/why-i-dont-regret-that-i-didnt-walk-away-from-my-relationship-sooner\/ \"Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner\")\n\n22 Comments\n\nOldest\n\nNewest\n\nInline Feedbacks\n\nView all comments\n\n![shashvat vats](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1e0b4bfb5864110f196fec953b86c992acd8d82fde37be00b8a3441b1f33838f?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nshashvat vats\n\nI could feel the weight each words hold. This was not easy and yet you did it. It’s great. Sorry for your loss and just stick there. Thanks for the inspiring write up. I wish i was strong as you.\n\n![Linda Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Broder\n\nReply to  [shashvat vats](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446558)\n\nThank you! The strength came with time.\n\n![Ryan Biddulph](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/2cec435f92532a4b659747a86d9a7b3ee59af4b5d4deaed62e5680d18f0b6db5?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\n[Ryan Biddulph](https:\/\/www.bloggingfromparadise.com\/11-fundamentals-blogging-course)\n\nThank you for sharing with us Linda. And hello from a fellow Northern New Jerseyite…although spending some time in New Zealand now as I circle the globe 😉 We never know what will trigger us, when it comes to grieving our loved ones. My mom is still with us but has been in hospice for 17 months, her body almost completely wasted away. I did accept her condition a while back but still never know how the seemingly smallest memory or moment or situation may allow me to release my grief. Lovely post. So well written.\n\nRyan\n\n![Linda Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Broder\n\nReply to  [Ryan Biddulph](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446567)\n\nThanks, Ryan. I hope you find peace in those memories.\n\n![SANA HAQUE](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7817b2b42fbc613320d8413d4abaa59d4841226686a3e2d97670f4919eee9ce4?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nSANA HAQUE\n\nThis was one of the best pieces of writing I have read so far. I could feel your pain, wisdom, learning, courage and hope, all at once. Thank you for reaching out with such a beautiful message.  \n Also, as you rightly pointed, life is a tapestry of love filled with joy and sorrow. You have balanced both so wonderfully Linda.\n\n![Linda Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Broder\n\nReply to  [SANA HAQUE](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446574)\n\nThanks, Sana. I’m glad my words touched you.\n\n![Christiana Acha](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b11d8cae5ddc54ebe323f24fc123bf03822a44076c7bfa4341865369f418665e?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nChristiana Acha\n\nThis piece is really thought-provoking. I hope we all learn to cherish the little things in life that we often times ignore but matter the most. Thanks for sharing your story.\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Christiana Acha](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446578)\n\nThank you, Christiana\n\n![Cynthia\\_M\\_V](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/76d028d069e2e578c9e4c0e27d8c8e6ff6bcc61dabd925d0fb612c5ca9cc6b02?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nCynthia\\_M\\_V\n\nLinda, I am so sorry for your loss. And I am in awe at how beautifully you told your story. Know that your words were heard by my heart, and heeded by my head. I will put out a notebook tonight, just to capture the memories – the spectacular and the mundane. The message, so important, was relayed in such a relatable way. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Wishing you peace – from Northern New Jersey as well:)\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Cynthia\\_M\\_V](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446579)\n\nThank you, Cynthia. I’m glad my story has inspired you to capture your memories in a notebook\\!\n\n![Alannah](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/5b36363f2fe142482336b6a5e0b8835760a3ec8a12af7ace03f91aa93055f283?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nAlannah\n\nThis is such a beautifully written post. My partner lost his mother 8 months ago at the age of 21 and that was a big wake up call to what truly matters in life. It totally is the little things in life that are often over looked that bring so much joy and meaning. It is sad that sometimes we have to go through grief for our eyes to be opened to what we cherish the most. It is so easy to get lost in the chaos of life and take things and people in our life for granted. Appreciating every day on this earth is so incredibly important! Thank you for sharing your heart warming story, what a great message.\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Alannah](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446580)\n\nThank you, Alannah. I hope my story continues to inspire you\\!\n\n![Windy Lynn Harris](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c64b1101ded9825524a1c5dd7b798449297e86c717c2fcb6b2fa692c052b2c5?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nWindy Lynn Harris\n\nThis is a stunning piece of writing. I feel every moment that you share\\!\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Windy Lynn Harris](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446583)\n\nThank you, Windy\\!\n\n![Donally](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/9c19b238c939e13ccc7eeac072704e2f03ec599dadc1fc7c1c499c20acf273f2?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nDonally\n\nI relate to this post so much. The loss, the longing, the reminders that can be found anywhere and the vivid memories they bring back. Little things like watching my son eat, or looking back at him in his car seat when we’re driving. The bedtime story and kiss goodnight, these every day things. I lost my 4 year old boy in November last year. It was extremely unexpected. I had him when I was 16 and I was a single mum, so it was us two taking on the world together. I don’t know why he had to go, but I miss him so much ❤.\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Donally](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446588)\n\nOh, Donally, I know your pain. I write because I can feel my son when I do. I hope my stories can help you in some small way.\n\n![Ari Maayan](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8fc6ce80b56b023337b2b93fa242e665c0d5f250622a997f7c9e06ced8387bcb?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nAri Maayan\n\nReply to  [Donally](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446588)\n\nLinda and Donally, My heart aches for you. May you find peace, acceptance and a soft way through life.\n\nLove and Blessings\n\n![Nancy Sack](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/da2addcb7c090bdca224fa47a88c123667a6d259348f22d72977359d4b0b941c?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nNancy Sack\n\nThank you for sharing your story!! It is a beautiful tribute to your son and you!♥️🌹😘\n\n![Linda Proske Broder](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nLinda Proske Broder\n\nReply to  [Nancy Sack](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#comment-446590)\n\nThank you, Nancy\n\n![shakil ahamed](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/55ddb36ba8d5dcaef47bfdb2991b8dd02e2f8f26118252c97d20e05ce4e3ca6b?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\n[shakil ahamed](https:\/\/www.clippingpath.eu\/)\n\nThanks, Linda. Really the story is heart touching. I think you are nicely focused the sorrow and joy. I am inspired your massage.\n\n![Haidee German](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a4d00476bfee22095ae00a58fb553224ee3282a831a323f4ebd4e10b56f07bbf?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nHaidee German\n\nI laughed and cried, thank you for sharing. 🙂\n\n![Genevieve](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/307311fe0ded6d2ce2ffa9c32dc76893173905762f1cfa74f0eea271d3e9f172?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\nGenevieve\n\nThank you this touched me so much. My husband died in a mountain accident exactly 4 years ago and indeed there are times where I am aching so much and times when memories make me smile. Unfortunately the sadness stil takes the biggest share.\n\n[![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/wls-pwyc.jpg)](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/wls)\n\n### Translate\n### Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper\n[![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/bt\/bt-green-buddha.png)](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/books-and-things\/)\n\n### Recent Forum Topics\n- [The Hardening Heart](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/topic\/the-hardening-heart\/)\n- [On Purpise and Shame- what is my purpose? 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The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.\n\nTiny Buddha, LLC may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases, including from the Amazon Associate Program.\n\nBefore using the site, please read our [Privacy Policy](http:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/privacy-policy\/) and [Terms of Use](http:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/terms-of-use\/).\n\n### Who Runs Tiny Buddha?\n![Lori](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/lori-new-600.jpg)Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. [Click here to read more](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/about\/).\n\n### Get More Tiny Buddha\n- [Twitter](https:\/\/www.twitter.com\/tinybuddha)\n- [Facebook](https:\/\/facebook.com\/tinybuddha)\n- [Youtube](https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/tinybuddha)\n- [RSS Feed](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/emailrss)\n\n### Credits & Copyright\nHosting by [PressLabs](https:\/\/presslabs.com\/)   \nDesign by [Joshua Denney](https:\/\/thinkwebstrategy.com\/)   \n  \nCopyright © 2025 Tiny Buddha, LLC [Think Web Strategy](https:\/\/thinkwebstrategy.com\/)\n\n- [Back to Top](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most\/#top)\n\n![](https:\/\/googleads.g.doubleclick.net\/pagead\/viewthroughconversion\/858237512\/?guid=ON&script=0)\n\n×\n\n[![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/tools-pop.jpg)](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/list)\n\nInsert","attrs_readable_markdown":"![](https:\/\/cdn.tinybuddha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Family.png)\n\n**“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali**\n\nI followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him.\n\nHe didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks.\n\nBut he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away.\n\nI used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild.\n\n**And now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son [died](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/love-relationships\/loss-grief\/) in an accident a week before his first day of high school.**\n\nI followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing.\n\nA few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble.\n\nThat boy’s hair was my pebble.\n\nYou’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son.\n\nWe both [feared](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/hub\/letting-go\/emotions\/) it would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room.\n\n“None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.”\n\n**He stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.”**\n\nIt wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down.\n\nA tiny pebble will forever make us stumble.\n\nAnd yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s [laughter](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/why-its-essential-to-find-humor-during-your-darkest-hours\/). There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair.\n\nLife is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all.\n\nAfter Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together.\n\nBut my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time.\n\nAnd Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly.\n\nWe shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the [ordinary moments](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/blog\/grateful-ordinary-life-enough\/) that are so easy to take for granted.\n\nLike the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date.\n\nI still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again.\n\n**This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most.**\n\nOur family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night.\n\nDon’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together.\n\nI still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee.\n\nAnd I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life.\n\n![](https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e5e4e3b71cc2ba4a846ea605d6b35ec962d994428db8764eaa6ac90626759705?s=100&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g)\n\n### About [Linda Broder](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/author\/linda-broder\/ \"Linda Broder\")\nLinda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at [lindabroder.com\/hope](https:\/\/www.lindabroder.com\/hope).\n\nSee a typo or inaccuracy? Please [contact us](https:\/\/tinybuddha.com\/contact\/) so we can fix it\\!","meta_canonical":null}

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Boilerpipe Text	“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali I followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him. He didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks. But he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away. I used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild. And now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son died in an accident a week before his first day of high school. I followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing. A few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble. That boy’s hair was my pebble. You’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son. We both feared it would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room. “None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.” He stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.” It wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down. A tiny pebble will forever make us stumble. And yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s laughter . There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair. Life is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all. After Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together. But my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time. And Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly. We shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the ordinary moments that are so easy to take for granted. Like the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date. I still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again. This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most. Our family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night. Don’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together. I still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee. And I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life. About Linda Broder Linda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at lindabroder.com/hope . See a typo or inaccuracy? Please contact us so we can fix it!
Markdown	[Menu](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/) - [Home](https://tinybuddha.com/) - [About](https://tinybuddha.com/about/) - [Frequently Asked Questions](https://tinybuddha.com/tiny-buddha-frequently-asked-questions/) - [Helpful Free Resources](https://tinybuddha.com/helpful-free-resources/) - [Contact](https://tinybuddha.com/contact/) - [Blog](https://tinybuddha.com/category/blog/) - [All posts](https://tinybuddha.com/category/blog/) - [Change](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/change-challenges/change-life-deal/) - [Challenges](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/change-challenges/coping-tough-times/) - [Happiness & Fun](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/happiness-fun/) - [Healthy Habits](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/healthy-habits/) - [Letting Go](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/letting-go/) - [Love & Relationships](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/love-relationships/) - [Mental Health](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/mental-health/) - [Mindfulness & Peace](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/mindfulness-peace/) - [Purpose & Passion](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/purpose-passion/) - [Quotes](https://tinybuddha.com/wisdom-quotes/) - [Fun & Inspiring](https://tinybuddha.com/category/fun-and-inspiring/) - [Forums](https://tinybuddha.com/forums) - [All forums](https://tinybuddha.com/forums/) - [Topics](https://tinybuddha.com/topics/) - [Register](https://tinybuddha.com/register/) - [Advertise](https://tinybuddha.com/advertise/) - [Submit a Post](https://tinybuddha.com/submission-guidelines/) - [Shop](https://tinybuddha.com/books-and-things/) - [Books & Things](https://tinybuddha.com/books-and-things/) - - [Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care](https://tinybuddha.com/selfcarecourse/) - [Login](https://tinybuddha.com/wp-login.php?redirect_to=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fblog%2Fthe-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most%2F) [![Tiny Buddha](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/themes/tinybuddha/images/logo.png)](https://tinybuddha.com/ "Tiny Buddha") ![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/2021header-widget.png) # The Little Things in Life Are the Ones That Matter Most By [Linda Broder](https://tinybuddha.com/author/linda-broder/ "Posts by Linda Broder") ![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Family.png) “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali I followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him. He didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks. But he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away. I used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild. And now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son [died](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/love-relationships/loss-grief/) in an accident a week before his first day of high school. I followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing. A few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble. That boy’s hair was my pebble. You’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son. We both [feared](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/letting-go/emotions/) it would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room. “None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.” He stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.” It wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down. A tiny pebble will forever make us stumble. And yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s [laughter](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-its-essential-to-find-humor-during-your-darkest-hours/). There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair. Life is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all. After Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together. But my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time. And Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly. We shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the [ordinary moments](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/grateful-ordinary-life-enough/) that are so easy to take for granted. Like the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date. I still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again. This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most. Our family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night. Don’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together. I still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee. And I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life. [See more posts](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/) ![](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e5e4e3b71cc2ba4a846ea605d6b35ec962d994428db8764eaa6ac90626759705?s=100&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) ### About [Linda Broder](https://tinybuddha.com/author/linda-broder/ "Linda Broder") Linda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at [lindabroder.com/hope](https://www.lindabroder.com/hope). - [Web](http://www.lindabroder.com/ "Linda Broder On The Web") - [More Posts](https://tinybuddha.com/author/linda-broder/ "More Posts By Linda Broder") See a typo or inaccuracy? Please [contact us](https://tinybuddha.com/contact/) so we can fix it\! ### Related posts: [![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Self-love-206x137.jpg)The Vault in Our Hearts: How I’m Learning to Fill It with My Own Love](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-vault-in-our-hearts-how-im-learning-to-fill-it-with-my-own-love/ "The Vault in Our Hearts: How I’m Learning to Fill It with My Own Love") [![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Sun-meditating-man-206x137.png)45 Work Self-Care Ideas for Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/45-work-self-care-ideas-for-your-physical-emotional-and-mental-health/ "45 Work Self-Care Ideas for Your Physical, Emotional, and Mental Health") [![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Letting-go-1-206x137.png)Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-i-dont-regret-that-i-didnt-walk-away-from-my-relationship-sooner/ "Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner") 22 Comments Oldest Newest Inline Feedbacks View all comments ![shashvat vats](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/1e0b4bfb5864110f196fec953b86c992acd8d82fde37be00b8a3441b1f33838f?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) shashvat vats I could feel the weight each words hold. This was not easy and yet you did it. It’s great. Sorry for your loss and just stick there. Thanks for the inspiring write up. I wish i was strong as you. ![Linda Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Broder Reply to [shashvat vats](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446558) Thank you! The strength came with time. ![Ryan Biddulph](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/2cec435f92532a4b659747a86d9a7b3ee59af4b5d4deaed62e5680d18f0b6db5?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) [Ryan Biddulph](https://www.bloggingfromparadise.com/11-fundamentals-blogging-course) Thank you for sharing with us Linda. And hello from a fellow Northern New Jerseyite…although spending some time in New Zealand now as I circle the globe 😉 We never know what will trigger us, when it comes to grieving our loved ones. My mom is still with us but has been in hospice for 17 months, her body almost completely wasted away. I did accept her condition a while back but still never know how the seemingly smallest memory or moment or situation may allow me to release my grief. Lovely post. So well written. Ryan ![Linda Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Broder Reply to [Ryan Biddulph](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446567) Thanks, Ryan. I hope you find peace in those memories. ![SANA HAQUE](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/7817b2b42fbc613320d8413d4abaa59d4841226686a3e2d97670f4919eee9ce4?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) SANA HAQUE This was one of the best pieces of writing I have read so far. I could feel your pain, wisdom, learning, courage and hope, all at once. Thank you for reaching out with such a beautiful message. Also, as you rightly pointed, life is a tapestry of love filled with joy and sorrow. You have balanced both so wonderfully Linda. ![Linda Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/282c5aa85ff9eae857f047ee82c045c7f79775f4188dc262530602f1f95d6aa8?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Broder Reply to [SANA HAQUE](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446574) Thanks, Sana. I’m glad my words touched you. ![Christiana Acha](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/b11d8cae5ddc54ebe323f24fc123bf03822a44076c7bfa4341865369f418665e?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Christiana Acha This piece is really thought-provoking. I hope we all learn to cherish the little things in life that we often times ignore but matter the most. Thanks for sharing your story. ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Christiana Acha](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446578) Thank you, Christiana ![Cynthia\_M\_V](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/76d028d069e2e578c9e4c0e27d8c8e6ff6bcc61dabd925d0fb612c5ca9cc6b02?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Cynthia\_M\_V Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. And I am in awe at how beautifully you told your story. Know that your words were heard by my heart, and heeded by my head. I will put out a notebook tonight, just to capture the memories – the spectacular and the mundane. The message, so important, was relayed in such a relatable way. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Wishing you peace – from Northern New Jersey as well:) ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Cynthia\_M\_V](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446579) Thank you, Cynthia. I’m glad my story has inspired you to capture your memories in a notebook\! ![Alannah](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/5b36363f2fe142482336b6a5e0b8835760a3ec8a12af7ace03f91aa93055f283?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Alannah This is such a beautifully written post. My partner lost his mother 8 months ago at the age of 21 and that was a big wake up call to what truly matters in life. It totally is the little things in life that are often over looked that bring so much joy and meaning. It is sad that sometimes we have to go through grief for our eyes to be opened to what we cherish the most. It is so easy to get lost in the chaos of life and take things and people in our life for granted. Appreciating every day on this earth is so incredibly important! Thank you for sharing your heart warming story, what a great message. ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Alannah](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446580) Thank you, Alannah. I hope my story continues to inspire you\! ![Windy Lynn Harris](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/1c64b1101ded9825524a1c5dd7b798449297e86c717c2fcb6b2fa692c052b2c5?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Windy Lynn Harris This is a stunning piece of writing. I feel every moment that you share\! ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Windy Lynn Harris](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446583) Thank you, Windy\! ![Donally](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/9c19b238c939e13ccc7eeac072704e2f03ec599dadc1fc7c1c499c20acf273f2?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Donally I relate to this post so much. The loss, the longing, the reminders that can be found anywhere and the vivid memories they bring back. Little things like watching my son eat, or looking back at him in his car seat when we’re driving. The bedtime story and kiss goodnight, these every day things. I lost my 4 year old boy in November last year. It was extremely unexpected. I had him when I was 16 and I was a single mum, so it was us two taking on the world together. I don’t know why he had to go, but I miss him so much ❤. ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Donally](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446588) Oh, Donally, I know your pain. I write because I can feel my son when I do. I hope my stories can help you in some small way. ![Ari Maayan](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/8fc6ce80b56b023337b2b93fa242e665c0d5f250622a997f7c9e06ced8387bcb?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Ari Maayan Reply to [Donally](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446588) Linda and Donally, My heart aches for you. May you find peace, acceptance and a soft way through life. Love and Blessings ![Nancy Sack](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/da2addcb7c090bdca224fa47a88c123667a6d259348f22d72977359d4b0b941c?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Nancy Sack Thank you for sharing your story!! It is a beautiful tribute to your son and you!♥️🌹😘 ![Linda Proske Broder](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/45729613105d33530bcdab705b6eed70c62d43aa79295d1aaf234454eafd3e06?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Linda Proske Broder Reply to [Nancy Sack](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-little-things-in-life-are-the-ones-that-matter-most/#comment-446590) Thank you, Nancy ![shakil ahamed](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/55ddb36ba8d5dcaef47bfdb2991b8dd02e2f8f26118252c97d20e05ce4e3ca6b?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) [shakil ahamed](https://www.clippingpath.eu/) Thanks, Linda. Really the story is heart touching. I think you are nicely focused the sorrow and joy. I am inspired your massage. ![Haidee German](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/a4d00476bfee22095ae00a58fb553224ee3282a831a323f4ebd4e10b56f07bbf?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Haidee German I laughed and cried, thank you for sharing. 🙂 ![Genevieve](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/307311fe0ded6d2ce2ffa9c32dc76893173905762f1cfa74f0eea271d3e9f172?s=64&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) Genevieve Thank you this touched me so much. My husband died in a mountain accident exactly 4 years ago and indeed there are times where I am aching so much and times when memories make me smile. Unfortunately the sadness stil takes the biggest share. 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Readable Markdown	![](https://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Family.png) “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” ~Muhammad Ali I followed a little boy in Walmart today. He didn’t look like my son and yet I trailed him and his mother all over the store. I curled my fingers around the shopping cart so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and touch him. He didn’t walk with Brendan’s bounce or jerk his head back, trying to slide his glasses back onto his nose. He didn’t have his sarcastic smile or those tiny freckles scattered across his cheeks. But he had the same cowlick sprouting from the back of his head. I wheeled my cart around and followed this little boy who looked nothing like my son. I itched to brush this boy’s hair, just like I did before Brendan grew too old and wiggled away. I used to smooth his spikes down and then laugh when they sprang back up, no matter how much gel I used. By the time he became a teenager, he gave up trying to tame them and left it messy and wild. And now, I’ll never get a chance to touch his hair again. My son [died](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/love-relationships/loss-grief/) in an accident a week before his first day of high school. I followed this little boy through the aisles, zigzagging across the store. He spent a long time debating which Lego set to buy. I knew the perfect one, the Star Wars battleship, but I said nothing. A few minutes later, he and his mother walked out of the store while I stood there, that hollow feeling gnawing me from the inside. I’d learned to steel myself when I saw Brendan’s friends at the high school or celebrated his cousin’s sixteenth birthday, but I didn’t expect something so small as a wisp of hair to make me stumble. That boy’s hair was my pebble. You’re never sure what tiny thing will make you stumble. A few months after Brendan died, my husband went to a funeral. It was for his friend’s grandmother, a sad passing, but not tragic like losing a fifteen year old son. We both [feared](https://tinybuddha.com/hub/letting-go/emotions/) it would be too much for him. He prepared himself to see the coffin, to hear the sobs, to smell the roses and carnations in the room. “None of that bothered me,” he told me later. “I was fine. But then I went into the bathroom.” He stopped and shook his head. “I dried my hands on the air dryer and all I could see was that first time Brendan used one of them. I think he was four and he loved it. Again, he said, over and over. He kept washing his hands just so he could dry them again.” It wasn’t the tears of the mourners or the wooden casket covered in flowers that made him break down. It was the memory of Brendan laughing while watching the skin on his hand bubble and dance. Michael had steeled himself against the mountain, but it was the pebble that brought him down. A tiny pebble will forever make us stumble. And yet, it’s that same pebble that fills us with the sound of Brendan’s [laughter](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-its-essential-to-find-humor-during-your-darkest-hours/). There will be days when I follow a little boy and his hair, limping in pain. But there will also be days when I’ll smile, my fingers warm with the memory of smoothing down Brendan’s wild and messy hair. Life is made up of these moments. Joy and heartache are woven into a tapestry of love. There are day when I want to pull on the threads of pain, but I know I risk unraveling it all. After Brendan’s accident, icy shock seeped inside me and froze my memories. I couldn’t remember his favorite foods or the nickname he called our dog. I couldn’t even say what we’d had for dinner on our last night together. But my daughter Lizzie remembered the special nachos he’d made after dinner that night. “He called them victory nachos,” she said and I smiled, picturing him slicing salami into perfect strips. He’d sprinkled them on top and dove into the pile, eating only one chip at a time. And Zack remembered the way he and his brother would lie on their backs on the trampoline, waiting until the sky grew dark. They’d search for the first star to twinkle in the sky and then close their eyes and wish that pigs could fly. We shared our memories in a notebook we left on the kitchen counter. The pages filled up, but not with big highlights like our vacation to Disney World. We wrote about the [ordinary moments](https://tinybuddha.com/blog/grateful-ordinary-life-enough/) that are so easy to take for granted. Like the marathon Monopoly games in our basement and how Brendan always tried to get Park Avenue, even if he bankrupted himself. And the hours Brendan and Michael spent sitting by the firepit they’d built out of bricks. Or the coupon he made me when he was fourteen, inviting me on a bookstore date. I still have the slip of paper with his messy words scrawled on it, but what I cherish more is the memory of him hovering by my side, his eyes watching mine as I read his invitation. He’d seen me cry that morning and was desperate to make me smile again. This is how love endures. We gather tiny moments and string them together, like beads in a never-ending necklace. And yet, it took the loss of my son to make me realize the little things in life are the ones that matter the most. Our family life was a whirlwind of track meets and baseball practice and business meetings. In the chaos, it was far too easy to let those moments slip away. We carved out time for big vacations, but forgot to treasure the tickle fights late at night. Don’t wait for a loss to make you realize what you’re missing right now. Push away the distractions that will always be there and hold onto your loved ones and the everyday memories you make together. I still keep a notebook on my counter. I write down the piano song Zack played on my birthday or the way my daughter giggles when I touch her knee. And I pick up pebbles on my walks. I slip them into my pocket, its gentle weight a reminder to cherish the smallest moments in life. ![](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e5e4e3b71cc2ba4a846ea605d6b35ec962d994428db8764eaa6ac90626759705?s=100&d=https%3A%2F%2Ftinybuddha.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2018%2F09%2Ftb-avatar.png&r=g) ### About [Linda Broder](https://tinybuddha.com/author/linda-broder/ "Linda Broder") Linda Broder is a meditative musician who believes that joy and wonder can be found in the midst of unimaginable grief. After losing her teenage son, she discovered creative expression as a pathway to hope and healing. In her book, And Still the Bird Sings, Linda shares her story of hope, resilience, and everyday miracles. Sign up for her free 30 Days of Hope program at [lindabroder.com/hope](https://www.lindabroder.com/hope). See a typo or inaccuracy? Please [contact us](https://tinybuddha.com/contact/) so we can fix it\!
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