🕷️ Crawler Inspector

URL Lookup

Direct Parameter Lookup

Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 77 (from laksa022)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa077.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://medium.com/@jennyhuang/building-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://medium.com/@jennyhuang/building-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang\/building-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2","crawl_time":1776036168,"first_indexed_time":1719960109,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"com,medium!\/@jennyhuang\/building-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2 s443","src_root_hash":"13179037029838926277","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world | by Jenny Huang | Medium","meta_descriptions":["Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome November 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my …"],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome\n7 min read\nDec 31, 2023\nNovember 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves.\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\nThe irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave.\nMy hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation.\nHere are my lessons:\nIf you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit.\nSelf esteem is internal; confidence is external\nImposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples.\nI have been told, “\nThere’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake.\n”\n–Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.”\nI have been told, “\nProgramming isn’t for women. You’ll fail.\n”\n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.”\nI have been told, “\nThere are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership.\n”\n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.”\nI have been told, “\nOf course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard.\n”\n–Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.”\nI have been told, “\nYou should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are.\n”\n–Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.”\nWhen I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had\nbeen made\nto feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward.\nDon’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem\nDon’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control.\nThat leads me to my next point:\nFind your unique blob\nTo quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique\nbecause\nof your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it.\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\nGrowing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce.\nExamples of my circumstance:\nFirst generation college student\nMulti-cultural\nFamily of immigrants\nDepression\nMy unique core:\nDot-connector\nDeep-thinker\nDreamer and visionary\nOptimist\nPassionate, free-spirited\nProblem-solver\nReclaim your circumstance\nTo reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil.\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\nHighlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.”\nAdditionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer.\nGet Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox\nJoin Medium for free to get updates from this writer.\nRemember me for faster sign in\nBut what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence?\nConfidence is built one step at a time\nConfidence is multi-faceted and observable by others\nIt’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world.\nConfidence in the\nworkplace\ncomes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include:\nEstablish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve?\nDon’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level.\nManagers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks\nIdentify areas of improvement\nWork with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps.\nSome examples of mentors I’ve had:\nDesign managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills\nDesign directors– design systems, career path\nProduct managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen\nArchitects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering.\nTech will change, so stay curious.\nKnowledge is the enemy of curiosity.\nEmbrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking.\nIf you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead?\nBe gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems.\nGrit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature.\nDon’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen.\nInstead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your\nability\nto turn the unknown into knowns. In other words,\nbuild confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges.\nDoing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty.\nIn conclusion\nThe year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us.\nRecommended reads\nThe Black Swan\n— Nassim Nicholas Taleb\nFreedom and Circumstance\n— José Ortega y Gasset","attrs_markdown":"[Sitemap](https:\/\/medium.com\/sitemap\/sitemap.xml)\n\n[Open in app](https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/apps\/details?id=com.medium.reader&referrer=utm_source%3DmobileNavBar&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------)\n\nSign up\n\n[Sign in](https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------)\n\n[Medium Logo](https:\/\/medium.com\/?source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------)\n\nGet app\n\n[Write](https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/signin?operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fnew-story&source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------new_post_topnav------------------)\n\n[Search](https:\/\/medium.com\/search?source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------)\n\nSign up\n\n[Sign in](https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------)\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:32:32\/1*dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png)\n\n# **Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world**\n## My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome\n[![Jenny Huang](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:32:32\/1*p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\nFollow\n\n7 min read\n\n·\n\nDec 31, 2023\n\n73\n\n[Listen](https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fplans%3Fdimension%3Dpost_audio_button%26postId%3D49e09ff72da2&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=---header_actions--49e09ff72da2---------------------post_audio_button------------------)\n\nShare\n\nNovember 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*l6Vv1s93iWNE2aZHe2sOAw.png)\n\nThe irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave.\n\nMy hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation.\n\nHere are my lessons:\n\n## If you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit.\n### Self esteem is internal; confidence is external\nImposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples.\n\nI have been told, “**There’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake.**”  \n–Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.”\n\nI have been told, “**Programming isn’t for women. You’ll fail.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.”\n\nI have been told, “**There are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.”\n\nI have been told, “**Of course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.”\n\nI have been told, “**You should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are.**”  \n–Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.”\n\nWhen I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had *been made* to feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward.\n\n### Don’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem\nDon’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control.\n\nThat leads me to my next point:\n\n### **Find your unique blob**\nTo quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique *because* of your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*It0iQFf33gTPMsx4baPQnQ.png)\n\nGrowing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce.\n\n**Examples of my circumstance:**\n\n- First generation college student\n- Multi-cultural\n- Family of immigrants\n- Depression\n\n**My unique core:**\n\n- Dot-connector\n- Deep-thinker\n- Dreamer and visionary\n- Optimist\n- Passionate, free-spirited\n- Problem-solver\n### Reclaim your circumstance\nTo reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*QdRNAxlyljq2H2EP63e2JA.png)\n\nHighlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.”\n\nAdditionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer.\n\n## Get Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox\nJoin Medium for free to get updates from this writer.\n\nSubscribe\n\nSubscribe\n\nRemember me for faster sign in\n\nBut what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence?\n\n## **Confidence is built one step at a time**\n### Confidence is multi-faceted and observable by others\nIt’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world.\n\nConfidence in the *workplace* comes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include:\n\n1. Establish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve?\n2. Don’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level.\n3. Managers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks\n4. Identify areas of improvement\n5. Work with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps.\n\nSome examples of mentors I’ve had:\n\n- Design managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills\n- Design directors– design systems, career path\n- Product managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen\n- Architects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering.\n### Tech will change, so stay curious.\n> Knowledge is the enemy of curiosity.\n\nEmbrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking.\n\nIf you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead?\n\n### Be gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems.\nGrit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature.\n\nDon’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen.\n\nInstead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your *ability* to turn the unknown into knowns. In other words, **build confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges.**\n\nDoing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty.\n\n## In conclusion\nThe year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us.\n\n## Recommended reads\n[The Black Swan](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Black-Swan-Improbable-Robustness-Fragility\/dp\/081297381X) — Nassim Nicholas Taleb\n\n[Freedom and Circumstance](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Freedom-Circumstance-Philosophy-Ortega-Gasset\/dp\/1468135813) — José Ortega y Gasset\n\n[Imposter Syndrome](https:\/\/medium.com\/tag\/imposter-syndrome?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Depression](https:\/\/medium.com\/tag\/depression?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Confidence](https:\/\/medium.com\/tag\/confidence?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Self Improvement](https:\/\/medium.com\/tag\/self-improvement?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Self Esteem](https:\/\/medium.com\/tag\/self-esteem?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n73\n\n73\n\n[![Jenny Huang](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:48:48\/1*p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[![Jenny Huang](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:64:64\/1*p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\nFollow\n\n[Written by Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[138 followers](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang\/followers?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n·[78 following](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang\/following?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\nDesigner \/ Engineer \/ Ex-Salesforce\n\nFollow\n\n## No responses yet\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:32:32\/1*dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png)\n\nWrite a response\n\n[What are your thoughts?](https:\/\/medium.com\/m\/signin?operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=---post_responses--49e09ff72da2---------------------respond_sidebar------------------)\n\nCancel\n\nRespond\n\n## More from Jenny Huang\n![What are design tokens?](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*XdlIh0jyWaqXqH0WsLgk-Q.png)\n\n[![Bootcamp](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*_wDJs77bAPiwuAe9qOK5Zg.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Bootcamp](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[What are design tokens?And how they can ensure a unified implementation of our design system](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/what-are-design-tokens-828c67410069?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nNov 7, 2022\n\n[A clap icon 132A response icon 1](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/what-are-design-tokens-828c67410069?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n![Image of person with a suitcase and umbrella walking off a cliff.](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*UWEEJk8kDNfUgbOlgRnUoA.png)\n\n[![Bootcamp](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*_wDJs77bAPiwuAe9qOK5Zg.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Bootcamp](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[Why I quit my software engineer career to be a designerAnd how I found my “why”](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/how-i-quit-software-engineering-to-become-a-product-designer-8e9e81bc7667?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nMay 24, 2024\n\n[A clap icon 145A response icon 5](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/how-i-quit-software-engineering-to-become-a-product-designer-8e9e81bc7667?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n![5 Ways to quit your life and reboot](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*1MjCwTsqhZqraay7wjYOEA.png)\n\n[![Jenny Huang](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[5 Ways to quit your life and rebootAnd why you’re not alone in feeling stuck.](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang\/5-ways-to-quit-your-life-and-reboot-436f8bf3cb72?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nOct 1, 2022\n\n[A clap icon 138A response icon 2](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang\/5-ways-to-quit-your-life-and-reboot-436f8bf3cb72?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n![What is a design system?](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*5YNhZ-nwFV8YvGZOfqIgcQ.png)\n\n[![Bootcamp](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*_wDJs77bAPiwuAe9qOK5Zg.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Bootcamp](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[What is a design system?And how to leverage it to build amazing products](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/what-is-a-design-system-9362d1c1e1f3?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\nOct 12, 2022\n\n[A clap icon 4](https:\/\/medium.com\/design-bootcamp\/what-is-a-design-system-9362d1c1e1f3?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------)\n\n[See all from Jenny Huang](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n## Recommended from Medium\n![Why Reading More Books Wasn’t Making Me Smarter](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*I23vhXSHaAB8mVhZFK8iAQ.jpeg)\n\n[![Code Like A 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12.5KA response icon 534](https:\/\/medium.com\/code-like-a-girl\/why-reading-more-books-wasnt-making-me-smarter-5fad5a2cad03?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n![6 brain images](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*Q-mzQNzJSVYkVGgsmHVjfw.png)\n\n[![Write A Catalyst](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*KCHN5TM3Ga2PqZHA4hNbaw.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/write-a-catalyst?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Write A Catalyst](https:\/\/medium.com\/write-a-catalyst?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Dr. Patricia Schmidt](https:\/\/medium.com\/@creatorschmidt?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[As a Neuroscientist, I Quit These 5 Morning Habits That Destroy Your BrainMost people do \\#1 within 10 minutes of waking (and it sabotages your entire day)](https:\/\/medium.com\/write-a-catalyst\/as-a-neuroscientist-i-quit-these-5-morning-habits-that-destroy-your-brain-3efe1f410226?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nJan 14\n\n[A clap icon 46KA response icon 941](https:\/\/medium.com\/write-a-catalyst\/as-a-neuroscientist-i-quit-these-5-morning-habits-that-destroy-your-brain-3efe1f410226?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n![The 5-Minute Mental Reset That Actually Works](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*R8e0AxCBMZrDguoscuRouA.png)\n\n[![Age of Awareness](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*abRenZmSXa-oa2rm9tCJwg.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/age-of-awareness?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Age of Awareness](https:\/\/medium.com\/age-of-awareness?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Sam Liberty](https:\/\/medium.com\/@sa-liberty?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[The 5-Minute Mental Reset That Actually WorksAn evidence-based routine you can try right now](https:\/\/medium.com\/age-of-awareness\/the-5-minute-mental-reset-that-actually-works-928116f8b78e?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nDec 10, 2025\n\n[A clap icon 6.4KA response icon 253](https:\/\/medium.com\/age-of-awareness\/the-5-minute-mental-reset-that-actually-works-928116f8b78e?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n![I Woke Up at 4:30 AM Every Day for 30 Days — Here Is What Nobody Tells You](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*0XnPmr19m6XJf9vZ9ojJ-Q.png)\n\n[![ILLUMINATION](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*AZxiin1Cvws3J0TwNUP2sQ.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/illumination?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[ILLUMINATION](https:\/\/medium.com\/illumination?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Sufyan Maan, M.Eng](https:\/\/medium.com\/@sufyanmaan?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[I Woke Up at 4:30 AM Every Day for 30 Days — Here Is What Nobody Tells YouHere is what actually happened, from someone who did it & tracked everything.](https:\/\/medium.com\/illumination\/i-woke-up-at-4-30-am-every-day-for-30-days-here-is-what-nobody-tells-you-054bf0160903?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nApr 4\n\n[A clap icon 7.6KA response icon 329](https:\/\/medium.com\/illumination\/i-woke-up-at-4-30-am-every-day-for-30-days-here-is-what-nobody-tells-you-054bf0160903?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----1---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n![If You Understand These 5 AI Terms, You’re Ahead of 90% of People](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*qbVrf-wO9PYtthAj6E4RYQ.png)\n\n[![Towards AI](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*JyIThO-cLjlChQLb6kSlVQ.png)](https:\/\/medium.com\/towards-artificial-intelligence?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Towards AI](https:\/\/medium.com\/towards-artificial-intelligence?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Shreyas Naphad](https:\/\/medium.com\/@shreyasnaphad?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[If You Understand These 5 AI Terms, You’re Ahead of 90% of PeopleMaster the core ideas behind AI without getting lost](https:\/\/medium.com\/towards-artificial-intelligence\/if-you-understand-these-5-ai-terms-youre-ahead-of-90-of-people-c7622d353319?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nMar 29\n\n[A clap icon 9.1KA response icon 183](https:\/\/medium.com\/towards-artificial-intelligence\/if-you-understand-these-5-ai-terms-youre-ahead-of-90-of-people-c7622d353319?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----2---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n![I Stopped Using ChatGPT for 30 Days. What Happened to My Brain Was Terrifying.](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:679\/format:webp\/1*z4UOJs0b33M4UJXq5MXkww.png)\n\n[![Level Up Coding](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:20:20\/1*5D9oYBd58pyjMkV_5-zXXQ.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/gitconnected?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nIn\n\n[Level Up Coding](https:\/\/medium.com\/gitconnected?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nby\n\n[Kusireddy](https:\/\/medium.com\/@kusireddy?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[I Stopped Using ChatGPT for 30 Days. What Happened to My Brain Was Terrifying.91% of you will abandon 2026 resolutions by January 10th. Here’s how to be in the 9% who actually win.](https:\/\/medium.com\/gitconnected\/i-stopped-using-chatgpt-for-30-days-what-happened-to-my-brain-was-terrifying-70d2a62246c0?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\nDec 28, 2025\n\n[A clap icon 12.9KA response icon 491](https:\/\/medium.com\/gitconnected\/i-stopped-using-chatgpt-for-30-days-what-happened-to-my-brain-was-terrifying-70d2a62246c0?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2----3---------------------98fd09b7_e1cf_4492_8349_23d813f66cd9--------------)\n\n[See more recommendations](https:\/\/medium.com\/?source=post_page---read_next_recirc--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Help](https:\/\/help.medium.com\/hc\/en-us?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Status](https:\/\/status.medium.com\/?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[About](https:\/\/medium.com\/about?autoplay=1&source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Careers](https:\/\/medium.com\/jobs-at-medium\/work-at-medium-959d1a85284e?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Press](mailto:pressinquiries@medium.com)\n\n[Blog](https:\/\/blog.medium.com\/?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Privacy](https:\/\/policy.medium.com\/medium-privacy-policy-f03bf92035c9?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Rules](https:\/\/policy.medium.com\/medium-rules-30e5502c4eb4?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Terms](https:\/\/policy.medium.com\/medium-terms-of-service-9db0094a1e0f?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n[Text to speech](https:\/\/speechify.com\/medium?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)","attrs_readable_markdown":"## My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome\n[![Jenny Huang](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fill:32:32\/1*p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https:\/\/medium.com\/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------)\n\n7 min read Dec 31, 2023\n\nNovember 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*l6Vv1s93iWNE2aZHe2sOAw.png)\n\nThe irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave.\n\nMy hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation.\n\nHere are my lessons:\n\n## If you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit.\n### Self esteem is internal; confidence is external\nImposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples.\n\nI have been told, “**There’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake.**”  \n–Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.”\n\nI have been told, “**Programming isn’t for women. You’ll fail.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.”\n\nI have been told, “**There are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.”\n\nI have been told, “**Of course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard.**”  \n–Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.”\n\nI have been told, “**You should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are.**”  \n–Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.”\n\nWhen I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had *been made* to feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward.\n\n### Don’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem\nDon’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control.\n\nThat leads me to my next point:\n\n### **Find your unique blob**\nTo quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique *because* of your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*It0iQFf33gTPMsx4baPQnQ.png)\n\nGrowing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce.\n\n**Examples of my circumstance:**\n\n- First generation college student\n- Multi-cultural\n- Family of immigrants\n- Depression\n\n**My unique core:**\n\n- Dot-connector\n- Deep-thinker\n- Dreamer and visionary\n- Optimist\n- Passionate, free-spirited\n- Problem-solver\n### Reclaim your circumstance\nTo reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil.\n\nPress enter or click to view image in full size\n\n![](https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/v2\/resize:fit:700\/1*QdRNAxlyljq2H2EP63e2JA.png)\n\nHighlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.”\n\nAdditionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer.\n\nGet Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox\n\nJoin Medium for free to get updates from this writer.\n\nRemember me for faster sign in\n\nBut what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence?\n\n## **Confidence is built one step at a time**\n### Confidence is multi-faceted and observable by others\nIt’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world.\n\nConfidence in the *workplace* comes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include:\n\n1. Establish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve?\n2. Don’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level.\n3. Managers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks\n4. Identify areas of improvement\n5. Work with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps.\n\nSome examples of mentors I’ve had:\n\n- Design managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills\n- Design directors– design systems, career path\n- Product managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen\n- Architects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering.\n### Tech will change, so stay curious.\n> Knowledge is the enemy of curiosity.\n\nEmbrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking.\n\nIf you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead?\n\n### Be gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems.\nGrit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature.\n\nDon’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen.\n\nInstead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your *ability* to turn the unknown into knowns. In other words, **build confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges.**\n\nDoing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty.\n\n## In conclusion\nThe year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us.\n\n## Recommended reads\n[The Black Swan](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Black-Swan-Improbable-Robustness-Fragility\/dp\/081297381X) — Nassim Nicholas Taleb\n\n[Freedom and Circumstance](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Freedom-Circumstance-Philosophy-Ortega-Gasset\/dp\/1468135813) — José Ortega y Gasset","meta_canonical":null}

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Meta Title	Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world \| by Jenny Huang \| Medium
Meta Description	Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome November 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my …
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Boilerpipe Text	My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome 7 min read Dec 31, 2023 November 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves. Press enter or click to view image in full size The irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave. My hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation. Here are my lessons: If you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit. Self esteem is internal; confidence is external Imposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples. I have been told, “ There’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake. ” –Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.” I have been told, “ Programming isn’t for women. You’ll fail. ” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.” I have been told, “ There are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership. ” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.” I have been told, “ Of course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard. ” –Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.” I have been told, “ You should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are. ” –Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.” When I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had been made to feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward. Don’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem Don’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control. That leads me to my next point: Find your unique blob To quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique because of your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it. Press enter or click to view image in full size Growing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce. Examples of my circumstance: First generation college student Multi-cultural Family of immigrants Depression My unique core: Dot-connector Deep-thinker Dreamer and visionary Optimist Passionate, free-spirited Problem-solver Reclaim your circumstance To reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil. Press enter or click to view image in full size Highlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.” Additionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer. Get Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer. Remember me for faster sign in But what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence? Confidence is built one step at a time Confidence is multi-faceted and observable by others It’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world. Confidence in the workplace comes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include: Establish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve? Don’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level. Managers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks Identify areas of improvement Work with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps. Some examples of mentors I’ve had: Design managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills Design directors– design systems, career path Product managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen Architects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering. Tech will change, so stay curious. Knowledge is the enemy of curiosity. Embrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking. If you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead? Be gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems. Grit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature. Don’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen. Instead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your ability to turn the unknown into knowns. In other words, build confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges. Doing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty. In conclusion The year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us. Recommended reads The Black Swan — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Freedom and Circumstance — José Ortega y Gasset
Markdown	[Sitemap](https://medium.com/sitemap/sitemap.xml) [Open in app](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.medium.reader&referrer=utm_source%3DmobileNavBar&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------) Sign up [Sign in](https://medium.com/m/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------) [Medium Logo](https://medium.com/?source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------) Get app [Write](https://medium.com/m/signin?operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fnew-story&source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------new_post_topnav------------------) [Search](https://medium.com/search?source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------) Sign up [Sign in](https://medium.com/m/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------) ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:32:32/1dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png) # Building self-esteem and confidence in a changing world* ## My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome [![Jenny Huang](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:32:32/1p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [Jenny Huang](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) Follow 7 min read · Dec 31, 2023 73 [Listen](https://medium.com/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fplans%3Fdimension%3Dpost_audio_button%26postId%3D49e09ff72da2&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=---header_actions--49e09ff72da2---------------------post_audio_button------------------) Share November 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1l6Vv1s93iWNE2aZHe2sOAw.png) The irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave. My hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation. Here are my lessons: ## If you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit. ### Self esteem is internal; confidence is external Imposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples. I have been told, “There’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake.” –Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.” I have been told, “Programming isn’t for women. You’ll fail.” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.” I have been told, “There are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership.” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.” I have been told, “Of course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard.” –Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.” I have been told, “You should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are.” –Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.” When I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had been made to feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward. ### Don’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem Don’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control. That leads me to my next point: ### Find your unique blob To quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique because of your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1It0iQFf33gTPMsx4baPQnQ.png) Growing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce. Examples of my circumstance:* - First generation college student - Multi-cultural - Family of immigrants - Depression My unique core: - Dot-connector - Deep-thinker - Dreamer and visionary - Optimist - Passionate, free-spirited - Problem-solver ### Reclaim your circumstance To reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1QdRNAxlyljq2H2EP63e2JA.png) Highlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.” Additionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer. ## Get Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer. Subscribe Subscribe Remember me for faster sign in But what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence? ## Confidence is built one step at a time* ### Confidence is multi-faceted and observable by others It’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world. Confidence in the workplace comes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include: 1. Establish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve? 2. Don’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level. 3. Managers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks 4. Identify areas of improvement 5. Work with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps. Some examples of mentors I’ve had: - Design managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills - Design directors– design systems, career path - Product managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen - Architects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering. ### Tech will change, so stay curious. > Knowledge is the enemy of curiosity. Embrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking. If you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead? ### Be gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems. Grit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature. Don’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen. Instead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your ability to turn the unknown into knowns. In other words, build confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges. Doing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty. ## In conclusion The year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us. ## Recommended reads [The Black Swan](https://www.amazon.com/Black-Swan-Improbable-Robustness-Fragility/dp/081297381X) — Nassim Nicholas Taleb [Freedom and Circumstance](https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Circumstance-Philosophy-Ortega-Gasset/dp/1468135813) — José Ortega y Gasset [Imposter Syndrome](https://medium.com/tag/imposter-syndrome?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [Depression](https://medium.com/tag/depression?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [Confidence](https://medium.com/tag/confidence?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [Self Improvement](https://medium.com/tag/self-improvement?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [Self Esteem](https://medium.com/tag/self-esteem?source=post_page-----49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) 73 73 [![Jenny Huang](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:48:48/1p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [![Jenny Huang](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:64:64/1p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) Follow [Written by Jenny Huang](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) [138 followers](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang/followers?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) ·[78 following](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang/following?source=post_page---post_author_info--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) Designer / Engineer / Ex-Salesforce Follow ## No responses yet ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:32:32/1dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png) Write a response [What are your thoughts?](https://medium.com/m/signin?operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jennyhuang%2Fbuilding-self-esteem-and-confidence-in-a-changing-world-49e09ff72da2&source=---post_responses--49e09ff72da2---------------------respond_sidebar------------------) Cancel Respond ## More from Jenny Huang ![What are design tokens?](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:679/format:webp/1XdlIh0jyWaqXqH0WsLgk-Q.png) [![Bootcamp](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:20:20/1_wDJs77bAPiwuAe9qOK5Zg.png)](https://medium.com/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------) In [Bootcamp](https://medium.com/design-bootcamp?source=post_page---author_recirc--49e09ff72da2----0---------------------7de2baf9_f66f_44f4_b9a5_2182dd8cf77e--------------) by [Jenny 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Readable Markdown	## My struggle with depression and imposter syndrome [![Jenny Huang](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:32:32/1p89J4cII_TtjOJqNBM5TDA.jpeg)](https://medium.com/@jennyhuang?source=post_page---byline--49e09ff72da2---------------------------------------) 7 min read Dec 31, 2023 November 2021– I was a senior software engineer at a big tech company. I was proud of my work, but lacked self-esteem. No positive performance review could convince me that I was capable and worthy. With the Pandemic behind me, Depression creeped in, slowly eroding all aspects of my life. My world turned upside down, and yet amidst the uncertainty and despair, I found hope. Here are my lessons in self-esteem, and how I rebuilt my world in my 30s. If you have ever struggled with self-esteem, I hope you can find hope in this article. Know that it’s never too late to let go of systems that no longer work. And it’s never too late to build our best selves. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1l6Vv1s93iWNE2aZHe2sOAw.png) The irony to my mental erosion is that I definitely felt confident in much of my adult life. Rocking bright red lipstick, bob haircut, and a polished and neat exterior, I never shied away from advocating for myself at work and personal life. A large part of my confidence came from my cognition and ability to perform at work. When Depression stripped me of that ability, I felt worthless. Because I could not work at the level demanded of me, I left my job. My world fell apart like a sand castle caught in a wave. My hubris fell with it. I had let my career and income define my identity up until then. Without it and the status that came with working at the largest tech company in San Francisco, I felt vulnerable. I didn’t know who I was, or what I enjoyed doing. Who was the younger ‘me,’ whom I abandoned in favor of the ‘me’ that society wanted? Coping took months. Yet at my lowest point, I learned to build my confidence back on a stronger foundation. Here are my lessons: ## If you struggle with imposter syndrome, self esteem might be the culprit. ### Self esteem is internal; confidence is external Imposter syndrome comes from lacking self-esteem, not confidence. If what you lack is self-esteem: no amount of praise, income, nor performance reviews will remedy it. Self esteem is internalized from external dialogues throughout our lives. To combat imposter syndrome, it might help to work backwards. Peel back each layer of tint that is clouding your self-image. What are some examples of internalized dialogue? Here are some of my personal examples. I have been told, “There’s no way they’d pay you 6-figures out of college. There’s obviously a mistake.” –Thus, “My status hailing from an immigrant, uneducated family makes me less capable.” I have been told, “Programming isn’t for women. You’ll fail.” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me less capable as a software engineer.” I have been told, “There are no female presidents because women just aren’t meant for leadership.” –Thus, “My status as a woman makes me ill-suited for leadership.” I have been told, “Of course he’d succeed– he’s from Harvard.” –Thus, “My status as a public school graduate makes me less likely to succeed compared to that from an Ivy league.” I have been told, “You should stay out of the sun, so that your freckles don’t get worse than they are.” –Thus, “My beauty is defined by what society accepts as beautiful.” When I peeled back the layers, I realized I didn’t feel worthy because I had been made to feel unworthy my entire life. That felt refreshing, because I finally realized that my low esteem was not entirely my fault. I gave myself permission to forgive my younger self for not knowing better, but decided that I can choose how I want to live moving forward. ### Don’t let external forces dictate your self-esteem Don’t allow friends, family, and society to dictate how you feel about yourself. It is akin to giving them the steering wheel to your life. External opinions are fickle, as much as they are out of our control. Focus on what you can control. That leads me to my next point: ### Find your unique blob To quote José Ortega y Gasset, “I am I and my circumstance; and, if I do not save it, it cannot save me.” Our circumstance shapes who we are, but it is not all we are. You are unique because of your circumstance– and within it lies your superpower. José Ortega y Gasset would say that we each have a duty to act on our circumstance, so as to not succumb to it. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1It0iQFf33gTPMsx4baPQnQ.png) Growing up, I was bullied for all the ways I was different. As a result, I’d think negatively of the ways which I stood out. As it turns out, the way to add value is by contributing what the average lacks– thus my quirkiness became my secret sauce. Examples of my circumstance:* - First generation college student - Multi-cultural - Family of immigrants - Depression My unique core: - Dot-connector - Deep-thinker - Dreamer and visionary - Optimist - Passionate, free-spirited - Problem-solver ### Reclaim your circumstance To reclaim my identity, I focused on how I can add value in ways unique to me. I started offering career mentorship to those in historically disadvantaged positions. So far I have provided 110+ hours of mentorship in countries like US, Canada, Nigeria, and Brazil. Press enter or click to view image in full size ![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/1QdRNAxlyljq2H2EP63e2JA.png) Highlighting my unique value proposition on LinkedIn, “I help companies connect the dots between users and value.” Additionally, I focused on ways I can deliver impact using my unique superpowers. This proved effective in landing my current role as a Product Designer. Get Jenny Huang’s stories in your inbox Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer. Remember me for faster sign in But what if you lack confidence, rather than self-esteem? How do you build up your confidence? ## Confidence is built one step at a time* ### Confidence is multi-faceted and observable by others It’s important to understand that confidence can apply to many different areas in life. We can have confidence in our personal lives, careers, and even over specific areas like painting, roller skating, our bodies, etc. Confidence is the feeling of self-assurance over one’s own abilities or qualities, observable by the outside world. Confidence in the workplace comes from repeated successes. To build workplace confidence, work with your manager and mentors to create a plan. This can include: 1. Establish systems of healthy (and regular) feedback. What are you doing right? Where can you improve? 2. Don’t run before you walk– manager should ensure your tasks are at an appropriate level. 3. Managers should ensure you have the resources to succeed at your tasks 4. Identify areas of improvement 5. Work with a mentor (or few) to address the gaps. Some examples of mentors I’ve had: - Design managers– improve visual design craft and soft skills - Design directors– design systems, career path - Product managers– expand domain knowledge, product knowledge, business acumen - Architects– exploring career paths and the intersection between design and engineering. ### Tech will change, so stay curious. > Knowledge is the enemy of curiosity. Embrace that the default state of anything is not knowing. Don’t envelop yourself in a castle of knowledge and close your mind to new ideas. Tech moves fast, and universally-held truths will change. What is true today might not hold water tomorrow. Knowledge and hard skills used today will be eventually be outdated. Stay curious of the world, and flexible in your thinking. If you can’t trust knowledge, what can you do instead? ### Be gritty and build a strong process for solving important problems. Grit is the ability to push forward despite experiencing setbacks. Your process is the way by which you solve problems, overcome these setbacks. Although repeated success can help you feel confident, success metrics are empirical in nature. Don’t focus on empirical evidence alone. It was once common-sense that “all swans are white.” Yet it took the appearance of just a single black swan to upend a widely held belief. You can deliver 9 successful projects, but the 10th is never guaranteed. Remember that empirical evidence can only prove the past, not the future. Facts can be cherry-picked, and research itself implies bias. Don’t be blind to what cannot be seen. Instead of building your confidence around knowledge and accomplishments, build it around your ability to turn the unknown into knowns. In other words, build confidence around your ability to research, to learn, to push through challenges. Doing so will make you unflappable in the midst of volatility and uncertainty. ## In conclusion The year I spent out of work has taught me that external reality is manifested from the inside out. If I want manifest good, I need to first believe that I am good. Building confidence atop low-self esteem is like building a sandcastle. It’s bound to fall. Instead, build your confidence on a strong sense of self-worth. Our circumstance shapes who we are, but does not define who we are. Our realities, experiences, and inner selves make us unique, and that is our super power. The duty to take ownership lies with us. ## Recommended reads [The Black Swan](https://www.amazon.com/Black-Swan-Improbable-Robustness-Fragility/dp/081297381X) — Nassim Nicholas Taleb [Freedom and Circumstance](https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Circumstance-Philosophy-Ortega-Gasset/dp/1468135813) — José Ortega y Gasset
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