🕷️ Crawler Inspector

URL Lookup

Direct Parameter Lookup

Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 179 (from laksa111)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa179.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical, ml_categories_json AS ml_categories_json, ml_types_json AS ml_types_json, ml_intent_types_json AS ml_intent_types_json, meta_language AS meta_language, attrs_author AS attrs_author, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(attrs_publish_time), 0) AS attrs_publish_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(attrs_original_publish_time), 0) AS attrs_original_publish_time, ifNull(attrs_is_republished, 0) AS attrs_is_republished, ifNull(attrs_nr_words, 0) AS attrs_nr_words, ifNull(attrs_boilerpipe_nr_words, 0) AS attrs_boilerpipe_nr_words, ifNull(body_ext_links_number, 0) AS body_ext_links_number, ifNull(body_int_links_number, 0) AS body_int_links_number, ifNull(meta_nofollow, 0) AS meta_nofollow, ifNull(meta_noarchive, 0) AS meta_noarchive, ifNull(props_was_rendered, 0) AS props_was_rendered, ifNull(src_redirect, \'\') AS src_redirect, ifNull(download_time_msec, 0) AS download_time_msec, ifNull(download_ttfb_msec, 0) AS download_ttfb_msec, ifNull(download_size, 0) AS download_size FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/how-to-be-present\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/how-to-be-present\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/how-to-be-present","crawl_time":1777129159,"first_indexed_time":1544321626,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"com,cultivatewhatmatters!\/blogs\/cwm\/how-to-be-present s443","src_root_hash":"10138972981333223179","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"How To Be Present – Cultivate","meta_descriptions":["At the most recent Making Things Happen Conference this spring, as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at The Carolina Inn, I noticed something… Over and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for thei"],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"At the most recent\nMaking Things Happen Conference this spring\n, as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at\nThe Carolina Inn\n, I noticed something…\nOver and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day.\nThis sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like\nwhy can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple\n?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it\nis\nuniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading\nThe Tech-Wise Family\nand LOVING IT? :))\nPhoto by\nRachel Coffey\nBut back to the\nMTH Conference\n: this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is\ndoing them\n. I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below!\nLet’s go!\nOne final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go\n1. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often.\nWe will never stop talking about\nthe importance of a “why”\nat Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of\nthe PowerSheets\n! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present).\nAs an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in\nthis opinion piece\nfrom the\nNew York Times\n. The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.”\n2. Set a hard boundary.\nThis is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it.\n3. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan.\nIdentify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter.\n4. Find a way to quiet your mind.\nBy definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone!\n5. Learn how to be together.\nSure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly.\n6. Make a system for capturing info.\nAside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the\nstuff\nconstantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.”\n7. Acknowledge the tension.\nLike I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame.\nShouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy?\nThey very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward!\n8. Listen to older people instead of resenting them.\nWe’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me.\nFriends, I’d love to hear:\nis being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life?\nEmily Thomas\nEmily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos.","attrs_markdown":"[Skip to content](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/how-to-be-present#MainContent)\n\n## Claim your free digital downloads\nAdd all to cart No thanks\n\n![]()\n\n## Your cart is empty\n[Continue shopping](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all)\n\nHave an account?\n\n[Log in](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/account\/login) to check out faster.\n## Your cart (0)\n## Subtotal\n\\$0.00 USD\n\nTaxes and [shipping](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/policies\/shipping-policy) calculated at checkout\n\nI agree to the [terms and conditions](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/policies\/terms-of-service \"Terms of Service\")\n\nYou must agree to the terms and conditions to check out.\n\nUpdate\n\nCheck out\n\n[✨ Shop the Spring Tent Sale ✨](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/spring-tent-sale)\n\n[NEW! Write the Word The Attributes of God](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/products\/write-the-word-journal-the-attributes-of-god)\n\nFree domestic shipping on orders of \\$75 or more\\!\n\n- [Spring Tent Sale](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/spring-tent-sale)\n- Planners\n  \n  Planners\n  \n  - [2026 One-Year PowerSheets](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-one-year-powersheets)\n  - [2026 Season By Season Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-season-by-season-planners)\n  - [Fresh Start Goal Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/fresh-start-goal-planners)\n  - [90-Day PowerSheets](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2024-90-day-powersheets)\n  - [All Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/planners)\n  - [What are PowerSheets?](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/powersheets-hub)\n  - [Prep Work Support](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/welcome-to-2026-powersheets-prep-week)\n- Accessories\n  \n  Accessories\n  \n  - [Kids](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-kids)\n  - [Miscellaneous](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/misc)\n  - [Pouches](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/pouches)\n  - [Snap-Ins & Wildcards](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/snap-ins-1)\n  - [Stickers](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/stickers)\n  - [Tending Tape](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/tending-tape)\n  - [Workbooks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-workbooks)\n- Desk & Office\n  \n  Desk & Office\n  \n  - [Bookmarks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/bookmarks)\n  - [Brain Dump Journals](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/brain-dump-journals)\n  - [Journals](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/journals)\n  - [Notebooks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/notebooks)\n  - [Notepads](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-notepads)\n  - [Pens](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/pens)\n  - [Sticky Notes](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/sticky-notes)\n- Faith\n  \n  Faith\n  \n  - [All Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all-faith)\n  - [Write the Word](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/journals-write-the-word)\n  - [Faith Accessories](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/faith-accessories)\n  - [Kids Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/kids-faith)\n  - [What is Write the Word?](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/write-the-word-hub)\n- GIFTS FOR HER\n  \n  GIFTS FOR HER\n  \n  - [Mother's Day Collection](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/mothers-day-collection)\n  - [Teacher Favorites](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/mothers-day-collection)\n- [Final Few\\!](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/last-chance)\n\n- [*Goal School Premium*](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/goal-school-member-access)\n- ***\n- [Blog](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm)\n- [Podcast](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/podcast)\n- ***\n- [SIGN IN](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/account\/login?return_url=%2Faccount)\n\n[Sign in](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/account\/login)\n\n- [Facebook](https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CultivateWhatMatters\/)\n- [Pinterest](https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/CultivateWhatMatters\/)\n- [Instagram](https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/cultivatewhatmatters\/)\n- [YouTube](https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/CultivateWhatMatters)\n\n- [*Goal School Premium*](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/goal-school-member-access)\n- [Blog](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm)\n- [Podcast](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/podcast)\n- [SIGN IN](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/account\/login?return_url=%2Faccount)\n\n- [Cart](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cart)\n\n- [Spring Tent Sale](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/spring-tent-sale)\n- [Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/planners)\n  \n  - [2026 One-Year PowerSheets](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-one-year-powersheets)\n  - [2026 Season By Season Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-season-by-season-planners)\n  - [Fresh Start Goal Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/fresh-start-goal-planners)\n  - [90-Day PowerSheets](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2024-90-day-powersheets)\n  - [All Planners](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/planners)\n  - [What are PowerSheets?](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/powersheets-hub)\n  - [Prep Work Support](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/welcome-to-2026-powersheets-prep-week)\n- [Accessories](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all-accessories)\n  \n  - [Kids](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-kids)\n  - [Miscellaneous](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/misc)\n  - [Pouches](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/pouches)\n  - [Snap-Ins & Wildcards](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/snap-ins-1)\n  - [Stickers](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/stickers)\n  - [Tending Tape](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/tending-tape)\n  - [Workbooks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-workbooks)\n- [Desk & Office](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all-accessories)\n  \n  - [Bookmarks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/bookmarks)\n  - [Brain Dump Journals](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/brain-dump-journals)\n  - [Journals](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/journals)\n  - [Notebooks](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/notebooks)\n  - [Notepads](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/nav-notepads)\n  - [Pens](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/pens)\n  - [Sticky Notes](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/sticky-notes)\n- [Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all-faith)\n  \n  - [All Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/all-faith)\n  - [Write the Word](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/journals-write-the-word)\n  - [Faith Accessories](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/faith-accessories)\n  - [Kids Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/kids-faith)\n  - [What is Write the Word?](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/write-the-word-hub)\n- [GIFTS FOR HER](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/mothers-day-collection)\n  \n  - [Mother's Day Collection](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/mothers-day-collection)\n  - [Teacher Favorites](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/mothers-day-collection)\n- [Final Few\\!](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/last-chance)\n\n![How To Be Present](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cdn\/shop\/articles\/HowtobePresent-01_1.png?v=1544201458&width=1100)\n\nCommunity, Encouragement, Family, family time, Favorites, friendship, Making Things Happen, motivation, Relationships, stronger relationships, Time Management, Work\n\n# How To Be Present\n\nAt the most recent [Making Things Happen Conference this spring](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/2018\/04\/11\/mth-spring-2018-recap\/), as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at [The Carolina Inn](https:\/\/www.carolinainn.com\/), I noticed something…\n\nOver and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day.\n\nThis sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like *why can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple*?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it *is* uniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading *[The Tech-Wise Family](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Tech-Wise-Family-Everyday-Putting-Technology\/dp\/0801018668\/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8)* and LOVING IT? :))\n\n![](https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0194\/2855\/files\/MTH_Spring_Conference_Group.jpg?v=1533582634)\n\n*Photo by [Rachel Coffey](http:\/\/www.rachelcoffeyphoto.com\/)*\n\nBut back to the [MTH Conference](http:\/\/makingthingshappen.com\/): this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is *doing them*. I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below! ![:)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/wp-includes\/images\/smilies\/simple-smile.png) Let’s go\\!\n\nOne final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go ![:)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/wp-includes\/images\/smilies\/simple-smile.png)\n\n**1\\. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often.** We will never stop talking about [the importance of a “why”](http:\/\/laracasey.com\/2017\/12\/28\/2018-goal-setting-part-5-make-happen\/) at Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of [the PowerSheets](https:\/\/shop.cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2018-powersheets-collection)! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present).\n\nAs an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in [this opinion piece](https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/09\/06\/opinion\/sunday\/frank-bruni-the-myth-of-quality-time.html) from the *New York Times*. The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.”\n\n**2\\. Set a hard boundary.** This is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it.\n\n**3\\. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan.** Identify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter.\n\n**4\\. Find a way to quiet your mind.** By definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone\\!\n\n**5\\. Learn how to be together.** Sure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly.\n\n**6\\. Make a system for capturing info.** Aside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the *stuff* constantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.”\n\n**7\\. Acknowledge the tension.** Like I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame. *Shouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy?* They very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward\\!\n\n**8\\. Listen to older people instead of resenting them.** We’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me.\n\n**Friends, I’d love to hear:** is being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life?\n\n![Emily Thomas](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/30884e871f3c954c2bb293e13deef748_300x300_crop_center.jpg?v=1691971470)\n\n### Emily Thomas\n\n### Emily Thomas\nEmily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos.\n\n[![Cultivate What Matters Podcast](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/GSP_Monthly_Happenings_600x.png?v=1758031003)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-powersheets-collection)\n\nThe PowerSheets Goal Planner will help you slow down, reflect, and take intentional steps toward the life you want to live. While January 1 may have been the \"perfect\" time to start your goals, the next best day is today.\n\n[make 2026 count](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2026-powersheets-collection)\n\n[![Weekly Change](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/April-Tent-Sale-1_600x.png?v=1776688217)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/spring-tent-sale)\n\nSpring has sprung! And our Spring Tent Sale is here!   \n  \n Shop now for your chance to **save up to 50%** on some of your most-loved favorites. It’s the perfect time to refresh, restock, and grab those pieces you’ve had your eye on before it's too late\\!\n\n[Save now](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/spring-tent-sale)\n\n### Categories:\n- [Community](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/tagged\/community)\n- [Encouragement](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/tagged\/encouragement)\n- [Faith](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/tagged\/faith)\n- [Friendship](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/tagged\/friendship)\n\n## More Content\n[Podcast](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/podcast)[Goal School](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/goal-school-member-access)[Blog](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm)\n\n## Shop\n- [Goal Planning](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/powersheets-hub)\n- [Blog](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cultivate)\n- [Courses](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/apps\/my\/courses\/list)\n- [Goal School Premium](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/goal-school-premium-pagefly)\n\n![](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/gold-logo_540x_90a48ee9-521c-4f48-8857-ca7297d53b00.webp?v=1674054677&width=400)\n\nOur goal is to see every woman living on purpose. Our tools have been used for nearly two decades to help women around the world set and achieve goals.\n\n## Help\n- [Contact Us](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/contact?_pos=2&_sid=271a8d7f9&_ss=r)\n- [Affiliates](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/affiliate-cwm)\n- [FAQ](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/frequently-asked-questions)\n- [Privacy Policy](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/privacy-policy-1)\n- [Terms of Service](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/terms-of-service)\n- [Wholesale](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/wholesale-application)\n\n## Company\n- [Our Story](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/our-story)\n- [Careers](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/careers)\n- [Cultivate Rewards](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/rewards-program)\n- [Goal School](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/goal-school-member-access)\n- [Newsletter](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/pages\/newsletter-sign-up)\n- [Podcast](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/podcast)\n- [PowerSheets Resources](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/blogs\/cwm\/how-to-choose-a-planner-for-a-new-year)\n\n- [Instagram](https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/cultivatewhatmatters\/)\n- [Facebook](https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/CultivateWhatMatters\/)\n- [YouTube](https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/CultivateWhatMatters)\n- [Pinterest](https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/CultivateWhatMatters\/)\n\n×\n\n### Woohoo\\!\nWe're so excited to help you create a life you love\\!\n\n×\n\n### Your PowerSheets Goal Planner is on it's way\\!\n\n- Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.","attrs_readable_markdown":"At the most recent [Making Things Happen Conference this spring](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/2018\/04\/11\/mth-spring-2018-recap\/), as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at [The Carolina Inn](https:\/\/www.carolinainn.com\/), I noticed something…\n\nOver and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day.\n\nThis sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like *why can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple*?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it *is* uniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading *[The Tech-Wise Family](https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Tech-Wise-Family-Everyday-Putting-Technology\/dp\/0801018668\/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8)* and LOVING IT? :))\n\n![](https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0194\/2855\/files\/MTH_Spring_Conference_Group.jpg?v=1533582634)\n\n*Photo by [Rachel Coffey](http:\/\/www.rachelcoffeyphoto.com\/)*\n\nBut back to the [MTH Conference](http:\/\/makingthingshappen.com\/): this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is *doing them*. I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below! ![:)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/wp-includes\/images\/smilies\/simple-smile.png) Let’s go\\!\n\nOne final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go ![:)](https:\/\/cultivatewhatmatters.com\/wp-includes\/images\/smilies\/simple-smile.png)\n\n**1\\. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often.** We will never stop talking about [the importance of a “why”](http:\/\/laracasey.com\/2017\/12\/28\/2018-goal-setting-part-5-make-happen\/) at Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of [the PowerSheets](https:\/\/shop.cultivatewhatmatters.com\/collections\/2018-powersheets-collection)! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present).\n\nAs an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in [this opinion piece](https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/09\/06\/opinion\/sunday\/frank-bruni-the-myth-of-quality-time.html) from the *New York Times*. The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.”\n\n**2\\. Set a hard boundary.** This is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it.\n\n**3\\. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan.** Identify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter.\n\n**4\\. Find a way to quiet your mind.** By definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone\\!\n\n**5\\. Learn how to be together.** Sure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly.\n\n**6\\. Make a system for capturing info.** Aside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the *stuff* constantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.”\n\n**7\\. Acknowledge the tension.** Like I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame. *Shouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy?* They very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward\\!\n\n**8\\. Listen to older people instead of resenting them.** We’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me.\n\n**Friends, I’d love to hear:** is being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life?\n\n### Emily Thomas\nEmily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos.","meta_canonical":null,"ml_categories_json":"","ml_types_json":"","ml_intent_types_json":"","meta_language":"en","attrs_author":"Emily Thomas","attrs_publish_time":0,"attrs_original_publish_time":1544321626,"attrs_is_republished":0,"attrs_nr_words":"1901","attrs_boilerpipe_nr_words":"1387","body_ext_links_number":13,"body_int_links_number":72,"meta_nofollow":0,"meta_noarchive":0,"props_was_rendered":0,"src_redirect":"","download_time_msec":1313,"download_ttfb_msec":1026,"download_size":95022}

3. Robots.txt Check

Query:

Response:

4. Spam/Ban Check

Query:

Response:

5. Seen Status Check

ℹ️ Skipped - page is already crawled

📄

INDEXABLE

✅

CRAWLED

2 days ago

🤖

ROBOTS ALLOWED

Page Info Filters

Filter	Status	Condition	Details
HTTP status	PASS	`download_http_code = 200`	HTTP 200
Age cutoff	PASS	`download_stamp > now() - 6 MONTH`	0.1 months ago
History drop	PASS	`isNull(history_drop_reason)`	No drop reason
Spam/ban	PASS	`fh_dont_index != 1 AND ml_spam_score = 0`	ml_spam_score=0
Canonical	PASS	`meta_canonical IS NULL OR = '' OR = src_unparsed`	Not set

Page Details

Property	Value
URL	https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/how-to-be-present
Last Crawled	2026-04-25 14:59:19 (2 days ago)
First Indexed	2018-12-09 02:13:46 (7 years ago)
HTTP Status Code	200
Content
Meta Title	How To Be Present – Cultivate
Meta Description	At the most recent Making Things Happen Conference this spring, as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at The Carolina Inn, I noticed something… Over and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for thei
Meta Canonical	null
Boilerpipe Text	At the most recent Making Things Happen Conference this spring , as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at The Carolina Inn , I noticed something… Over and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day. This sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like why can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple ?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it is uniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading The Tech-Wise Family and LOVING IT? :)) Photo by Rachel Coffey But back to the MTH Conference : this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is doing them . I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below! Let’s go! One final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go 1. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often. We will never stop talking about the importance of a “why” at Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of the PowerSheets ! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present). As an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in this opinion piece from the New York Times . The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.” 2. Set a hard boundary. This is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it. 3. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan. Identify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter. 4. Find a way to quiet your mind. By definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone! 5. Learn how to be together. Sure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly. 6. Make a system for capturing info. Aside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the stuff constantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.” 7. Acknowledge the tension. Like I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame. Shouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy? They very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward! 8. Listen to older people instead of resenting them. We’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me. Friends, I’d love to hear: is being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life? Emily Thomas Emily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos.
Markdown	[Skip to content](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/how-to-be-present#MainContent) ## Claim your free digital downloads Add all to cart No thanks ![]() ## Your cart is empty [Continue shopping](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all) Have an account? [Log in](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/account/login) to check out faster. ## Your cart (0) ## Subtotal \$0.00 USD Taxes and [shipping](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/policies/shipping-policy) calculated at checkout I agree to the [terms and conditions](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/policies/terms-of-service "Terms of Service") You must agree to the terms and conditions to check out. Update Check out [✨ Shop the Spring Tent Sale ✨](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/spring-tent-sale) [NEW! Write the Word The Attributes of God](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/products/write-the-word-journal-the-attributes-of-god) Free domestic shipping on orders of \$75 or more\! - [Spring Tent Sale](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/spring-tent-sale) - Planners Planners - [2026 One-Year PowerSheets](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-one-year-powersheets) - [2026 Season By Season Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-season-by-season-planners) - [Fresh Start Goal Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/fresh-start-goal-planners) - [90-Day PowerSheets](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2024-90-day-powersheets) - [All Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/planners) - [What are PowerSheets?](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/powersheets-hub) - [Prep Work Support](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/welcome-to-2026-powersheets-prep-week) - Accessories Accessories - [Kids](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-kids) - [Miscellaneous](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/misc) - [Pouches](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/pouches) - [Snap-Ins & Wildcards](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/snap-ins-1) - [Stickers](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/stickers) - [Tending Tape](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/tending-tape) - [Workbooks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-workbooks) - Desk & Office Desk & Office - [Bookmarks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/bookmarks) - [Brain Dump Journals](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/brain-dump-journals) - [Journals](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/journals) - [Notebooks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/notebooks) - [Notepads](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-notepads) - [Pens](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/pens) - [Sticky Notes](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/sticky-notes) - Faith Faith - [All Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all-faith) - [Write the Word](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/journals-write-the-word) - [Faith Accessories](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/faith-accessories) - [Kids Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/kids-faith) - [What is Write the Word?](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/write-the-word-hub) - GIFTS FOR HER GIFTS FOR HER - [Mother's Day Collection](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/mothers-day-collection) - [Teacher Favorites](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/mothers-day-collection) - [Final Few\!](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/last-chance) - [Goal School Premium](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/goal-school-member-access) - * - [Blog](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm) - [Podcast](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/podcast) - * - [SIGN IN](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/account/login?return_url=%2Faccount) [Sign in](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/account/login) - [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/CultivateWhatMatters/) - [Pinterest](https://www.pinterest.com/CultivateWhatMatters/) - [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/cultivatewhatmatters/) - [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/c/CultivateWhatMatters) - [Goal School Premium](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/goal-school-member-access) - [Blog](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm) - [Podcast](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/podcast) - [SIGN IN](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/account/login?return_url=%2Faccount) - [Cart](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cart) - [Spring Tent Sale](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/spring-tent-sale) - [Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/planners) - [2026 One-Year PowerSheets](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-one-year-powersheets) - [2026 Season By Season Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-season-by-season-planners) - [Fresh Start Goal Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/fresh-start-goal-planners) - [90-Day PowerSheets](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2024-90-day-powersheets) - [All Planners](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/planners) - [What are PowerSheets?](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/powersheets-hub) - [Prep Work Support](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/welcome-to-2026-powersheets-prep-week) - [Accessories](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all-accessories) - [Kids](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-kids) - [Miscellaneous](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/misc) - [Pouches](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/pouches) - [Snap-Ins & Wildcards](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/snap-ins-1) - [Stickers](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/stickers) - [Tending Tape](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/tending-tape) - [Workbooks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-workbooks) - [Desk & Office](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all-accessories) - [Bookmarks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/bookmarks) - [Brain Dump Journals](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/brain-dump-journals) - [Journals](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/journals) - [Notebooks](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/notebooks) - [Notepads](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/nav-notepads) - [Pens](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/pens) - [Sticky Notes](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/sticky-notes) - [Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all-faith) - [All Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/all-faith) - [Write the Word](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/journals-write-the-word) - [Faith Accessories](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/faith-accessories) - [Kids Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/kids-faith) - [What is Write the Word?](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/write-the-word-hub) - [GIFTS FOR HER](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/mothers-day-collection) - [Mother's Day Collection](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/mothers-day-collection) - [Teacher Favorites](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/mothers-day-collection) - [Final Few\!](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/last-chance) ![How To Be Present](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cdn/shop/articles/HowtobePresent-01_1.png?v=1544201458&width=1100) Community, Encouragement, Family, family time, Favorites, friendship, Making Things Happen, motivation, Relationships, stronger relationships, Time Management, Work # How To Be Present At the most recent [Making Things Happen Conference this spring](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/2018/04/11/mth-spring-2018-recap/), as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at [The Carolina Inn](https://www.carolinainn.com/), I noticed something… Over and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day. This sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like why can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it is uniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading [The Tech-Wise Family](https://www.amazon.com/Tech-Wise-Family-Everyday-Putting-Technology/dp/0801018668/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8) and LOVING IT? :)) ![](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0194/2855/files/MTH_Spring_Conference_Group.jpg?v=1533582634) Photo by [Rachel Coffey](http://www.rachelcoffeyphoto.com/) But back to the [MTH Conference](http://makingthingshappen.com/): this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is doing them. I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below! ![:)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/simple-smile.png) Let’s go\! One final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go ![:)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/simple-smile.png) 1\. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often. We will never stop talking about [the importance of a “why”](http://laracasey.com/2017/12/28/2018-goal-setting-part-5-make-happen/) at Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of [the PowerSheets](https://shop.cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2018-powersheets-collection)! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present). As an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in [this opinion piece](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/06/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-the-myth-of-quality-time.html) from the New York Times. The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.” 2\. Set a hard boundary. This is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it. 3\. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan. Identify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter. 4\. Find a way to quiet your mind. By definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone\! 5\. Learn how to be together. Sure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly. 6\. Make a system for capturing info. Aside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the stuff constantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.” 7\. Acknowledge the tension. Like I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame. Shouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy? They very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward\! 8\. Listen to older people instead of resenting them. We’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me. Friends, I’d love to hear: is being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life? ![Emily Thomas](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cdn/shop/files/30884e871f3c954c2bb293e13deef748_300x300_crop_center.jpg?v=1691971470) ### Emily Thomas ### Emily Thomas Emily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos. [![Cultivate What Matters Podcast](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cdn/shop/files/GSP_Monthly_Happenings_600x.png?v=1758031003)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-powersheets-collection) The PowerSheets Goal Planner will help you slow down, reflect, and take intentional steps toward the life you want to live. While January 1 may have been the "perfect" time to start your goals, the next best day is today. [make 2026 count](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2026-powersheets-collection) [![Weekly Change](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cdn/shop/files/April-Tent-Sale-1_600x.png?v=1776688217)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/spring-tent-sale) Spring has sprung! And our Spring Tent Sale is here! Shop now for your chance to save up to 50% on some of your most-loved favorites. It’s the perfect time to refresh, restock, and grab those pieces you’ve had your eye on before it's too late\! [Save now](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/spring-tent-sale) ### Categories: - [Community](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/tagged/community) - [Encouragement](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/tagged/encouragement) - [Faith](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/tagged/faith) - [Friendship](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/tagged/friendship) ## More Content [Podcast](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/podcast)[Goal School](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/goal-school-member-access)[Blog](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm) ## Shop - [Goal Planning](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/powersheets-hub) - [Blog](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cultivate) - [Courses](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/apps/my/courses/list) - [Goal School Premium](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/goal-school-premium-pagefly) ![](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/cdn/shop/files/gold-logo_540x_90a48ee9-521c-4f48-8857-ca7297d53b00.webp?v=1674054677&width=400) Our goal is to see every woman living on purpose. Our tools have been used for nearly two decades to help women around the world set and achieve goals. ## Help - [Contact Us](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/contact?_pos=2&_sid=271a8d7f9&_ss=r) - [Affiliates](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/affiliate-cwm) - [FAQ](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions) - [Privacy Policy](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/privacy-policy-1) - [Terms of Service](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/terms-of-service) - [Wholesale](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/wholesale-application) ## Company - [Our Story](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/our-story) - [Careers](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/careers) - [Cultivate Rewards](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/rewards-program) - [Goal School](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/goal-school-member-access) - [Newsletter](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/pages/newsletter-sign-up) - [Podcast](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/podcast) - [PowerSheets Resources](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/blogs/cwm/how-to-choose-a-planner-for-a-new-year) - [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/cultivatewhatmatters/) - [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/CultivateWhatMatters/) - [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/c/CultivateWhatMatters) - [Pinterest](https://www.pinterest.com/CultivateWhatMatters/) × ### Woohoo\! We're so excited to help you create a life you love\! × ### Your PowerSheets Goal Planner is on it's way\! - Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
Readable Markdown	At the most recent [Making Things Happen Conference this spring](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/2018/04/11/mth-spring-2018-recap/), as I sat in the back listening to each of our attendees share over their two days at [The Carolina Inn](https://www.carolinainn.com/), I noticed something… Over and over, a theme emerged: women want to be present in their lives. They want to be present for their spouses, present for their kids, perhaps present in their time with the Lord, or even simply present with the task at hand as they move throughout their day. This sounds like such a twenty-first century problem, doesn’t it? And there’s shame there, like why can’t we just do this thing that sounds so simple?? While I’m sure this has always been a challenge to some degree, the fact is that it is uniquely a “right now” problem: there are more distractions, and more powerful distractions, tempting us than ever before in history. (Can you tell I’m reading [The Tech-Wise Family](https://www.amazon.com/Tech-Wise-Family-Everyday-Putting-Technology/dp/0801018668/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8) and LOVING IT? :)) ![](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0194/2855/files/MTH_Spring_Conference_Group.jpg?v=1533582634) Photo by [Rachel Coffey](http://www.rachelcoffeyphoto.com/) But back to the [MTH Conference](http://makingthingshappen.com/): this deeply-seated desire to be present was so universal and so keenly felt, but by the same measure, attendees seemed at a loss for how they could create change in this area in their lives. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I wanted to share a few things that have worked for me and for other Cultivate team members. The catch? Very few of these will be surprises to you. We all know these things. The true challenge is doing them. I’m here to encourage you on that, too, as you’ll see below! ![:)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/simple-smile.png) Let’s go\! One final note: when we talk about being present, I don’t think most of us are talking about achieving a blissed-out state of zen. What we want is to live deeply in important moments, giving the people we care about the gift of our attention, and maximizing (in the most heart-centered sense) each moment we have. We want to live and remember each day as distinct and praiseworthy instead of just one more in an undifferentiated slog. Okay, now let’s go ![:)](https://cultivatewhatmatters.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/simple-smile.png) 1\. Define what’s truly important to you and remind yourself of it often. We will never stop talking about [the importance of a “why”](http://laracasey.com/2017/12/28/2018-goal-setting-part-5-make-happen/) at Cultivate – it is central to everything we do, and to the message of [the PowerSheets](https://shop.cultivatewhatmatters.com/collections/2018-powersheets-collection)! Without a strong and personally meaningful why, we’ll never stick with something that’s challenging or requires something of us. So why does being present matter to you? Define it, write it down, and perhaps picture it visually (I have a simple inspiration board on my fridge that reminds me of the kind of life I want to live — one that is very present). As an example, part of my why was articulated beautifully in [this opinion piece](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/06/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-the-myth-of-quality-time.html) from the New York Times. The author writes that the quantity of “quality” (present) time is almost as important as the quality, that we delude ourselves when we think we can “plan instances of extraordinary candor, plot episodes of exquisite tenderness, and engineer intimacy in an appointed hour.” The truth is that we never know when those moments will show up, so I want to be present and ready for them as often as I possibly can be. “People tend not to operate on cue… We reach out for help at odd points; we bloom at unpredictable ones. The surest way to see the brightest colors, or the darkest ones, is to be watching and waiting and ready for them.” 2\. Set a hard boundary. This is perhaps contradictory to my first point, but if being present is something you struggle with, start by setting a discrete time period when you commit to being fully present. It might be in the hour after your kiddos arrive home from school, the thirty minutes when you sit down to dinner or breakfast, or the ten minutes with your spouse before you go to bed. Making a commitment is the first step in keeping it. 3\. Don’t just hope things will work out – make a plan. Identify your biggest barrier to being present and make a plan to defeat it. For most of us, I would venture to say it’s our phones. I have found that the very simple practice of putting my phone in the same place on the kitchen counter when I get home from work stops me from having to make a decision every day about whether I’ll have my phone in my pocket, in the bedroom, etc. When I place that phone down, it’s a physical reminder that I’m switching over into uninterrupted time with my daughter. 4\. Find a way to quiet your mind. By definition, if we’re not “in the present,” our minds are in the past or future, right? Once my phone is put away, I focus on soaking in as much of the moment as I possibly can — the sights, the sounds, the smells — instead of focusing on what happened earlier that day or what’s to come. It can also be helpful to focus on your breath, especially if you feel a pull to grab that phone\! 5\. Learn how to be together. Sure, perhaps the best way to be present with someone is to sit by their side and simply listen to them. But, I think we can also be present with each other in ways where our whole world doesn’t need to come to a screeching halt. Some of my favorite moments each day are in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work and my two-year-old is sitting next to me in her high chair eating breakfast. Washing my face, doing my hair, and putting on makeup don’t require much brain power, but since my hands are busy, it’s easy to focus on her and whatever she’d like to talk to me about. If she’s playing independently in the afternoon, I also like to sit on the sofa nearby and read my own book – giving her the gift of my available, present self, even though we aren’t interacting constantly. 6\. Make a system for capturing info. Aside from my phone, one of my biggest barriers to being present is all of the stuff constantly swirling in my head. You, too? To dos, worries, reminders, appointments to make, ideas to remember, birthday messages to send… the list goes on. Simply keeping a scratch pad out in our kitchen so I can jot those things down instead of juggling them in my mind goes a long way toward freeing me up mentally to remain “in the moment.” 7\. Acknowledge the tension. Like I mentioned at the beginning, just the fact that we struggle with being present can be a source of guilt or shame. Shouldn’t being with our kids be the easiest thing in the world? Shouldn’t sitting with our spouses bring us the most joy? They very well might – but that doesn’t mean the pull of long-held habits is easy to break. You are learning a new way of being, so simply acknowledge the little by little steps you’re taking as well as the set-backs, and keep moving forward\! 8\. Listen to older people instead of resenting them. We’ve all heard about the frazzled mom at the grocery store who wants to strangle the grandma who says “you’re going to miss these days!” as she tries to wrangle her three screaming kids out the door. Well, my own grandma’s best parenting advice when I asked her was “I just tried to enjoy them.” What a simple, poignant, true thought. To me, that is what being present is about: simply enjoying the people and time I have been given. Keeping that as my focus instead of resenting it, even in the difficult moments of parenting or life, has been a game-changer for me. Friends, I’d love to hear: is being present something you struggle with? What tactics have helped you be more present in your life? ### Emily Thomas Emily Thomas is Cultivate What Matters' Content Strategist and Writer. With over a decade at Cultivate, Emily loves helping women uncover what matters, set good goals, and live them out with joy. Her free time is spent with her high-school-sweetheart husband and three young kiddos.
ML Classification
ML Categories	null
ML Page Types	null
ML Intent Types	null
Content Metadata
Language	en
Author	Emily Thomas
Publish Time	not set
Original Publish Time	2018-12-09 02:13:46 (7 years ago)
Republished	No
Word Count (Total)	1,901
Word Count (Content)	1,387
Links
External Links	13
Internal Links	72
Technical SEO
Meta Nofollow	No
Meta Noarchive	No
JS Rendered	No
Redirect Target	null
Performance
Download Time (ms)	1,313
TTFB (ms)	1,026
Download Size (bytes)	95,022
Shard	179 (laksa)
Root Hash	10138972981333223179
Unparsed URL	com,cultivatewhatmatters!/blogs/cwm/how-to-be-present s443