🕷️ Crawler Inspector

URL Lookup

Direct Parameter Lookup

Raw Queries and Responses

1. Shard Calculation

Query:

Response:

Calculated Shard: 76 (from laksa181)

2. Crawled Status Check

Query:

curl -X POST \
  'http://laksa076.int.ahrefs:8124/' \
  -H 'Content-Type: text/plain' \
  -H 'X-ClickHouse-Database: crawler3' \
  -H 'Authorization: Basic YXBpOg==' \
  -d 'SELECT getAhrefsURLFromUnparsed(src_unparsed) AS found_url, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(download_stamp), 0) AS crawl_time, ifNull(toUnixTimestamp(props_url_first_seen), 0) AS first_indexed_time, download_http_code AS http_code, src_unparsed AS src_unparsed, src_root_hash AS src_root_hash, history_drop_reason AS history_drop_reason, meta_title AS meta_title, meta_descriptions AS meta_descriptions, attrs_boilerpipe_text AS attrs_boilerpipe_text, attrs_markdown AS attrs_markdown, attrs_readable_markdown AS attrs_readable_markdown, meta_canonical AS meta_canonical FROM crawler3.page_info_local FINAL PREWHERE (src_root_hash, src_unparsed) IN ((getAhrefsRootHashFromUnparsed(getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://copyranter.substack.com/p/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026\')), getAhrefsUnparsedNoserviceFromURL(\'https://copyranter.substack.com/p/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026\'))) FORMAT JSONEachRow'

Response:

{"found_url":"https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/p\/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026","crawl_time":1774095077,"first_indexed_time":0,"http_code":200,"src_unparsed":"com,substack!copyranter,\/p\/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026 s443","src_root_hash":"14862242593741677076","history_drop_reason":null,"meta_title":"Best\/Worst Ads Of March 2026. - Copyranter Two Point Zero","meta_descriptions":["So far. Including one ad that made me sigh so hard I pulled a jaw muscle. You'll see."],"attrs_boilerpipe_text":"But first: ***A free*** creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative (\nme\n).\nBack in the late 1990s, A&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard:\n“THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!”\nI don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads.\nMY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a\nBIG IDEA\nlooks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head.\nThis\nis how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand s\nave money\n, even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago.\nYou really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a $3.33\/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails.\nOK. To this month’s notable ads.\nBuy or bye, please.","attrs_markdown":"[![Copyranter Two Point Zero](https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!i0YC!,w_40,h_40,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F71c433b1-e3a4-4c4e-bb6d-59ce9199a6f7_100x100.png)](https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/)\n\n# [![Copyranter Two Point Zero](https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!szqW!,e_trim:10:white\/e_trim:10:transparent\/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F069d67a2-e961-4f94-b121-b9daecc5fbdb_1547x417.jpeg)](https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/)\nSubscribe\n\nSign in\n\n# Best\/Worst Ads Of March 2026.\n### So far. Including one ad that made me sigh so hard I pulled a jaw muscle. You'll see.\n[![Copyranter's avatar](https:\/\/substackcdn.com\/image\/fetch\/$s_!Wey5!,w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep\/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1e649eb7-68ec-42f4-a30e-c1d3d7442aff_420x420.jpeg)](https:\/\/substack.com\/@copyranter)\n\n[Copyranter](https:\/\/substack.com\/@copyranter)\n\nMar 19, 2026\n\n∙ Paid\n\n1\n\nShare\n\nBut first: \\*\\*\\*A free\\*\\*\\* creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative (*me*).\n\nBack in the late 1990s, A\\&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard:\n\n> *“THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!”*\n\nI don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads.\n\nMY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a **BIG IDEA** looks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head. *This* is how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand s*ave money*, even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago.\n***\nYou really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a \\$3.33\/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails.\n\nOK. To this month’s notable ads.\n\n[Buy or bye, please.](https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/subscribe)\n\n## Keep reading with a 7-day free trial\nSubscribe to Copyranter Two Point Zero to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.\n\n[Start trial](https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/subscribe?simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fcopyranter.substack.com%2Fp%2Fbestworst-ads-of-march-2026&utm_source=paywall-free-trial&utm_medium=web&utm_content=191458476&coupon=2f725dc6)\n\n[Already a paid subscriber? **Sign in**](https:\/\/substack.com\/sign-in?redirect=%2Fp%2Fbestworst-ads-of-march-2026&for_pub=copyranter&change_user=false)\n\nPrevious\n\nNext\n\n© 2026 Copyranter · [Privacy](https:\/\/substack.com\/privacy) ∙ [Terms](https:\/\/substack.com\/tos) ∙ [Collection notice](https:\/\/substack.com\/ccpa#personal-data-collected)\n\n[Start your Substack](https:\/\/substack.com\/signup?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=footer)\n\n[Get the app](https:\/\/substack.com\/app\/app-store-redirect?utm_campaign=app-marketing&utm_content=web-footer-button)\n\n[Substack](https:\/\/substack.com\/) is the home for great culture\n\nThis site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please [turn on JavaScript](https:\/\/enable-javascript.com\/) or unblock scripts","attrs_readable_markdown":"But first: \\*\\*\\*A free\\*\\*\\* creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative (*me*).\n\nBack in the late 1990s, A\\&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard:\n\n> *“THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!”*\n\nI don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads.\n\nMY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a **BIG IDEA** looks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head. *This* is how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand s*ave money*, even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago.\n\nYou really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a \\$3.33\/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails.\n\nOK. To this month’s notable ads.\n\n[Buy or bye, please.](https:\/\/copyranter.substack.com\/subscribe)","meta_canonical":null}

3. Robots.txt Check

Query:

Response:

4. Spam/Ban Check

Query:

Response:

5. Seen Status Check

ℹ️ Skipped - page is already crawled

📄

INDEXABLE

✅

CRAWLED

27 days ago

🤖

ROBOTS ALLOWED

Page Info Filters

Filter	Status	Condition	Details
HTTP status	PASS	`download_http_code = 200`	HTTP 200
Age cutoff	PASS	`download_stamp > now() - 6 MONTH`	0.9 months ago
History drop	PASS	`isNull(history_drop_reason)`	No drop reason
Spam/ban	PASS	`fh_dont_index != 1 AND ml_spam_score = 0`	ml_spam_score=0
Canonical	PASS	`meta_canonical IS NULL OR = '' OR = src_unparsed`	Not set

Page Details

Property	Value
URL	https://copyranter.substack.com/p/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026
Last Crawled	2026-03-21 12:11:17 (27 days ago)
First Indexed	not set
HTTP Status Code	200
Meta Title	Best/Worst Ads Of March 2026. - Copyranter Two Point Zero
Meta Description	So far. Including one ad that made me sigh so hard I pulled a jaw muscle. You'll see.
Meta Canonical	null
Boilerpipe Text	But first: *A free* creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative ( me ). Back in the late 1990s, A&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard: “THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!” I don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads. MY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a BIG IDEA looks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head. This is how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand s ave money , even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago. You really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a $3.33/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails. OK. To this month’s notable ads. Buy or bye, please.
Markdown	[![Copyranter Two Point Zero](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!i0YC!,w_40,h_40,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F71c433b1-e3a4-4c4e-bb6d-59ce9199a6f7_100x100.png)](https://copyranter.substack.com/) # [![Copyranter Two Point Zero](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!szqW!,e_trim:10:white/e_trim:10:transparent/h_72,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F069d67a2-e961-4f94-b121-b9daecc5fbdb_1547x417.jpeg)](https://copyranter.substack.com/) Subscribe Sign in # Best/Worst Ads Of March 2026. ### So far. Including one ad that made me sigh so hard I pulled a jaw muscle. You'll see. [![Copyranter's avatar](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Wey5!,w_36,h_36,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1e649eb7-68ec-42f4-a30e-c1d3d7442aff_420x420.jpeg)](https://substack.com/@copyranter) [Copyranter](https://substack.com/@copyranter) Mar 19, 2026 ∙ Paid 1 Share But first: \\\A free\\\ creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative (me). Back in the late 1990s, A\&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard: > “THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!” I don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads. MY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a BIG IDEA looks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head. This is how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand save money, even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago. * You really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a \$3.33/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails. OK. To this month’s notable ads. [Buy or bye, please.](https://copyranter.substack.com/subscribe) ## Keep reading with a 7-day free trial Subscribe to Copyranter Two Point Zero to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives. [Start trial](https://copyranter.substack.com/subscribe?simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fcopyranter.substack.com%2Fp%2Fbestworst-ads-of-march-2026&utm_source=paywall-free-trial&utm_medium=web&utm_content=191458476&coupon=2f725dc6) [Already a paid subscriber? Sign in**](https://substack.com/sign-in?redirect=%2Fp%2Fbestworst-ads-of-march-2026&for_pub=copyranter&change_user=false) Previous Next © 2026 Copyranter · [Privacy](https://substack.com/privacy) ∙ [Terms](https://substack.com/tos) ∙ [Collection notice](https://substack.com/ccpa#personal-data-collected) [Start your Substack](https://substack.com/signup?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_content=footer) [Get the app](https://substack.com/app/app-store-redirect?utm_campaign=app-marketing&utm_content=web-footer-button) [Substack](https://substack.com/) is the home for great culture This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please [turn on JavaScript](https://enable-javascript.com/) or unblock scripts
Readable Markdown	But first: \\\A free\\\ creative lesson from a classically-trained Creative (me). Back in the late 1990s, A\&W Root Beer ran a “Thick-Headed” campaign promoting its delicious thick-headedness. There were 4-5 spots, but this was the funniest with one of the funniest lines I’ve ever heard: > “THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A MASSAGE?!? I DON’T REMEMBER A MASSAGE!” I don’t know the actor’s name, but he’s made many funny ads. MY POINT, young creatives: THIS is what a BIG IDEA looks like. And look how simple it was—Thick-Heads selling Thick Head. This is how every one of you should be thinking because this is how you help a brand succeed, help a brand be remembered, help a brand save money, even. So stop thinking of “clever” puny one-off ads that go NOWHERE. Ad agency: Foote Cone & Belding, Chicago. You really don’t deserve any of my free advice so maybe consider buying a \$3.33/month sub to get more valuable hard-earned creative tips. Or stop getting my emails. OK. To this month’s notable ads. [Buy or bye, please.](https://copyranter.substack.com/subscribe)
Shard	76 (laksa)
Root Hash	14862242593741677076
Unparsed URL	com,substack!copyranter,/p/bestworst-ads-of-march-2026 s443